Metcalf Up The Middle

In Defense (Sort of) of Eric Mangini

2009-09-30T17:28:00.004-04:00

So everybody is jumping up and down on Eric Mangini this week. Certainly, that is to be expected given last week's non-performance in Baltimore. The team was not adequately prepared and did not execute in any phase of the game...ultimately that responsibility falls upon the head coach. However, the (utterly predictable) calls for his job by the unwashed masses and Joe Posnanski's inflammatory for the sake of being inflammatory article are utterly ridiculous.

Don't buy into the hyperbole of what the no-talent hacks like Posnanski, Tony Grossi and other members of the media (who admittedly dislike Mangini because he makes their job harder) have to say.

As an example, let's examine Posnanski's claims about why Eric Mangini was a bad hire:

1. Mangini had just been fired in New York, where he had done a terrible job. He had a losing record. His team had collapsed down the stretch, he had alienated his players, he was a pain in the neck to deal with. Point is: He'd already PROVEN how much damage he could do as a coach.

Did Manging do a terrible job in New York? Taking over a 4-12 team, he was 10-6 in his first season, and brought the Jets to the playoffs. After an admittedly bad season in 2007, he had the Jets off to an 8-3 start last year before Favre's injury and ineffectiveness resulted in a 9-7 finish. That is 23-25 in three seasons. I'm not arguing that he did a fantastic job, but a nearly .500 record over three seasons should hardly be called terrible. (also notice how one of Posnaski points is that "he was a pain in the neck to deal with"...again, Mangini does make media members jobs more difficult and they hate him for it...I, for one, couldn't care less).

2. He came right out of the school of Bill Belichick ... and that didn't work THE FIRST TIME in Cleveland. It seems to me that Cleveland is a working-class town and Browns fans want a working-class coach -- not some pompous know-it-all who doesn't feel like he should have to explain to the commoners what he's doing.

The reason Bill Belichick didn't work in Cleveland is because he didn't win enough. Knowing everything you know about Bill Belichick, would you have taken him as the Browns coach in 1999 or even now? I sure would. It is about winning. Belichick, in his second incarnation, became one of the best coaches of all time, in part certainly due to learning from mistakes he made in his first go around as head coach. Could something similar happen with Mangini? Maybe. I can only speak for myself, and I don't know what "working-class" means, but I don't care how much of a prick the Browns coach is as long as they win!

3. What had he ever done to convince anyone he could be a head coach in the first place? Why, because he was a defensive coordinator for the Patriots under Belichick for one season? The Browns had JUST HIRED Romeo Crennel, who was ALSO defensive coordinator under Belichick. Attention Cleveland Browns owners, here's a good hint: BILL BELICHICK IS HIS OWN DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR.

Despite Mangini's expanding girth, comparing he and Romeo is comparing apples and oranges....ok, milky way and cake. Romeo was lauded as a great hire because he had "paid his dues" as an assistant and he had convinced people that he was qualified to be a head coach. And he was a bust! So there is no tried and true way to convince someone that you are qualified to be a head coach. Good head coaches and bad head coaches come from all organizations and all experience levels. And you have no idea what was said in Mangini's interview to convince Woody Johnson and then Randy Lerner that he was qualified to be a head coach, but the bottom line is that the interview likely had much more to do with his hire than his resume.

4. Basically the first thing Mangini did -- first thing -- was have them tear down a mural of great Cleveland Browns players on the wall in the Browns offices. Now, there are differing opinions about what really happened, whose fault it really was, does it all matter, etc. You know what? The Cleveland Browns have never been to a Super Bowl. Never. Not one. But Browns fans still have a whole lot of pride. Browns fans grow up on a glorious history. If you allow something stupid like that to happen on your watch ... just a horrendous hire.

This is laughable and totally irresponsible reporting. Mangini, like almost any new coach, did some rearranging of the locker room and the facility. The mural that Posnanski refers to was actually moved to a much more prominent place in the facility (why the failure to mention that one, Joe?). The Browns organization has reached out to its alumni. Do you see Paul Warfield and Jim Brown on the bench every game? This is a totally salacious and false argument and is only used to drum up a dramatic conclusion.

So there you have it my friends. I'm not saying that Eric Mangini will end up being a great coach for the Browns. There are clearly a lot of holes in the ship. Some of the early season failings are due truly to a lack of NFL talent, while some absolutely fall on the coaching staff and the head coach in particular. But it is important to note that Posnanski and other members of the media already dislike Mangini and are eager to see him fail. But we Browns fans are smarter than that. Let's see how the season continues to play out and what kind of progress the team makes before rushing to judgment. I know last week was dark, but keep your heads up and keeping cheering on Sundays.

Peace.
Top Dawg

Vikings...

2009-08-27T11:19:00.003-04:00

You heard it here first: The Vikings won't make the playoffs. I never bought it when Favre signed and all the sudden these guys could win it all. Total BS. Just throwin' it out there...

Two Faces

2009-04-29T23:44:00.005-04:00

How can one team do this...

And then do this?

Ryan, Kevin, and Mark’s 2009 Draft Report

2009-04-23T10:18:00.018-04:00

Welcome, Browns fans, to the 2009 edition of the Draft Report. 2008 was supposed to
be our Christmas morning. Perhaps the most eagerly anticipated Browns season since
the return in 1999, we thought everything was lined up for the Browns to contend for the
division and conference championship. A strong offense would only get stronger with
the addition of Donte Stallworth, and 5 prime time games portended good things for the
orange and brown.

Well, you know how it went. We came downstairs on Christmas morning to find that the
Grinch had taken all of our presents and Romeo ate the Who Roast Beast. Donte’
Stallworth proved to be more fra-geel-lay than an Italian leg lamp and the Browns were
the worst thing on primetime since the first season of “Joey”. Exit Romeo and Phil, enter
the Mangenius.

So here we are again with another new coach telling us that it will take time to build and
that we have to be patient. We’re now working on our fourth “three year plan” in the last
ten years, if anyone was keeping count. I don’t know if it is because it is spring and
anything is possible, or because LeBron has changed us, or just because of all of this
cough syrup(translated Tequila) we’ve been drinking, but we remain optimistic.

Due to high demand fro the publication, high expectations, and more
importantly…laziness, Ryan and Kevin have hired an intern to contribute to this years
draft report. We are happy to welcome a young man out of Pepper Pike, Ohio who is
the long time webmaster and musical director of the Draft Report, former lead singer of
Samson, and the proprietor of www.metcalfupthemiddle.blogspot.com (where you can
find this year’s Report online), Mark brings a new voice (and hopefully some new jokes)
to the table. Welcome Mark. The jury is still out on whether his contributions will be up
to the high standards we set for ourselves, so next year we will be accepting resumes
and writing samples for contributing writers. If you are interested please send a cover
letter, resume, writing sample, and results from a urine sample to
ryanandkevindraftreport@gmail.com

This year’s report is dedicated to Eric Turner, Eddie “No Neck” Johnson, Dante Lavelli
and Don Rogers.

Kevin’s Mock Draft:
Team Player POS School
1 Detroit Matthew Stafford QB Georgia
2 St. Louis Jason Smith OT Baylor
3 Kansas City Eugene Monroe OT Virginia
4 Seattle Mark Sanchez QB USC
5 Cleveland Aaron Curry OLB Wake Forest
6 Cincinnati Andre Smith OT Alabama
7 Oakland Michael Crabtree WR Texas Tech
8 Jacksonville Jeremy Maclin WR Missouri
9 Green Bay Brian Orakpo DE Texas
10 San Francisco Malcolm Jenkins CB Ohio State
11 Buffalo Brandon Pettigrew TE Okla St.
12 Denver Aaron Maybin OLB Penn State
13 Washington Tyson Jackson DE LSU
14 New Orleans Brian Cushing OLB USC
15 Houston BJ Raji DT Boston College
16 San Diego Michael Oher OT Ole Miss
17 New York Jets Josh Freeman QB Kansas St.
18 Denver (from Chicago) Knowshon Moreno RB Georgia
19 Tampa Bay Everitte Brown DE FSU
20 Detroit (from Dallas) Rey Maualuga MLB USC
21 Philadelphia Beanie Wells RB OSU
22 Minnesota Hakim Nicks WR UNC
23 New England Clay Matthews OLB USC
24 Atlanta Robert Ayers DE Tennessee
25 Miami Darius Butler CB UCONN
26 Baltimore Darrius Heyward-Bet WR Maryland
27 Indianapolis Ziggy Hood DT/DE Mizzou
28 Philadelphia (from Carolina) Phil Loadholt OT Alabama
29 New York Giants Kenny Britt WR Rutgers
30 Tennessee Percy Harvin WR Florida
31 Arizona Donald Brown RB UCONN
32 Pittsburgh Duke Robinson OG Alabama

Ryan’s Mock Draft
1. Detroit: Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia.
2. St. Louis: Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
3. Kansas City: Aaron Curry, OLB, Wake Forest.
4. Seattle: Mark Sanchez, QB, USC.
5. Cleveland: Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech.
6. Cincinnati: Beanie Wells, HB, Ohio State.
7. Oakland: Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri.
8. Jacksonville: Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia.
9. Green Bay: Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State
10. San Francisco: Andre Smith, OT, Alabama.
11. Buffalo: Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU.
12. Denver: B.J. Raji, DT, Boston College.
13. Washington: Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn State.
14. New Orleans: Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee.
15. Houston: Brian Orakpo, DE, Texas.
16. San Diego: Knowshon Moreno, HB, Georgia.
17. NY Jets: Percy Harvin, WR, Florida.
18. Denver: Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
19. Tampa Bay: Brian Cushing, OLB, USC.
20. Detroit: Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi.
21. Philadelphia: Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi.
22. Minnesota: Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland.
23. New England: Rey Maualuga, MLB, USC.
24. Atlanta: Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois.
25. Miami: Clay Matthews, OLB, USC.
26. Baltimore: Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State.
27. Indianapolis: Ziggy Hood, DT, Missouri.
28. Buffalo: Eben Britton, OT, Arizona.
29. NY Giants: Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers.
30. Tennessee: James Laurinaitis, MLB, Ohio State.
31. Arizona: Donald Brown, RB, Connecticut.
32. Pittsburgh: Eric Wood, C, Louisville.

Simply mash the link to view the Draft Report in its entirety: (if you think it's just some first round mock draft silliness, you're sorely mistaken. Trust me, you don't want to miss this...)

Ryan, Kevin, and Mark's Draft Report 2009

Browns Draft Report COMING SOON!

2009-04-21T14:27:00.001-04:00

Holy Crap...what's going on?

2009-01-08T19:33:00.004-05:00

Eric Mangini is the next coach of the Cleveland Browns. To be honest I'm not quite sure what to make of his hiring. Mangini aside, the fact that Lerner actually said, "There is not as much of a rush to get a GM, because his main responsibilities are putting together the draft and (NFL) free agency,". WHAT? Oh, I'm sorry...just the draft and free agency...those aren't that important. And what is Mangini's responsibility? What comes first, the draft or the preseason?

My faith in Lerner is wearing pretty thin right about now. As much as I love that he's a "mostly" none meddling owner with deep, deep, deep pockets, his plan for building, maintaining and ensuring the success of the franchise seems none existent. He's like that chick in college who went from one dirt bag to another with not so much as a night's rest in her own bed in between. She had no idea what she was doing, she just knew that being with someone made her feel less vulnerable and less insecure. Lerner seems to be latching this storied franchise on the whatever new girl walks into the bar. How about buying her a drink first? How about noticing the hair on her upper lip, or the chipped tooth? You gotta get close before you realize that stuff, and I don't think we've gotten close to anyone we've hired since Lerner took over...he was 10 beers deep, saw her across the bar, and was sold. Butch Davis?

Regardless, the Mangini hiring could work out just fine, but that's not really the point here. What's scary about that possibility is that is would be total luck. There was no process, no due diligence, no vetting that took place here, other than some really long conversations where they both seemed to give each other massages and sip Johnny Walker 1805.

We're hoping for the best here at MUTM...but geez...just when you think it can't get any worse...

Willy Parker

2008-09-09T00:20:00.002-04:00

Can you say STEROIDS??? Look at the veins in his arms? Looks similar to the picture below!

Coming Soon...

2008-07-31T20:39:00.000-04:00

The summer's almost over...we'll be back soon!

PAGING MR. SHEPPARD, MR. LITO SHEPPARD

2008-05-21T14:56:00.002-04:00

News out of Berea today. Daven Holly has been lost to what the Browns are calling a "serious knee injury." Holly will have surgery at the Cleveland Clinic on Friday, and will most assuredly contract a staph infection by Monday.

With the loss of Leigh Bodden, Holly was competing with Brandon McDonald for the starting spot across from Eric Wright. Readers of the site know that we are not big fans of Daven Holly, as he is often burned...badly. However, the already paper thin secondary could not afford an injury, and now the Browns will likely go searching for some help. Once Hanford Dixon gets out of jail (see below), maybe he's available.

HANFORD DIXON ARRESTED

2008-05-19T13:23:00.006-04:00

Former Browns CB and c0-founder of the Dawg Pound Hanford Dixon was arrested on charges of DUI early Saturday morning.

Dixon is a private citizen now, so I wouldn't consider this particularly newsworthy, but I posted it because look at this picture?!?

I can't believe how old Hanford Dixon looks. He really is taking on the appearance of Cleo McDowell. This makes me feel ancient.

Browns Release Kenny Wright

2008-05-15T10:50:00.004-04:00

The best part about this story is that Wright was arrested TWICE this off-season! Both times for rollin' with weed on him. Dude, you're sort of a pro athlete, have a buddy carry that stuff. What an idiot. Looks like his play days are over, but look for Marijuana sales to go through the roof in Texas...

McGinest Loves Cleveland

2008-05-15T10:45:00.002-04:00

Crennel leaned heavily on his group of experienced players to drag the team out of the doldrums last year. He'll need them more in this season of great expectations, and McGinest knows it. He feels the responsibility.

But there was another factor McGinest weighed in deciding to come back for one more season -- the city.

"I didn't know how big football was in Cleveland until I actually got here," he said. "I knew about the Dawg Pound and all the other things that come with it. But I actually see this town loves football, no matter what. It eats, sleeps and breathes football. It's exciting to be a part of that."
He doesn't know what it would be like with the Browns in the playoffs. He wants to find out.

-Cleveland Plain Dealer

Thank God Mother's Day was Sunday

2008-05-13T10:22:00.002-04:00

When Mom's Attack.

Go Cavs

Chud Sees More Points Out of Offense This Season

2008-05-12T16:04:00.002-04:00

http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.ssf/2008/05/chudzinski_looking_for_better.html

2007 Missouri/Martin Rucker Offensive Highlights

2008-04-29T17:44:00.001-04:00

Beau Bell's Pro Day

2008-04-29T15:04:00.001-04:00

This guy is a BEAST! You've got to check out his size. He's going to MAUL people!

Molly Sullivan with Beau Bell

2008-04-29T14:52:00.001-04:00

Beau Bell Highlights

2008-04-29T14:50:00.000-04:00

Cleveland Plain Dealer's Tony Grossi on Browns Draft

2008-04-29T11:06:00.000-04:00

Tony Grossi

Blow the Whistle - Jay-Z Defends LeBron in New Song

2008-04-28T17:41:00.000-04:00

Browns Select Beau Bell with 12th Pick in 4th Round

2008-04-27T17:58:00.002-04:00

http://www.nfl.com/videos?videoId=09000d5d80804e8d

From Ryan and Kevin's Draft Report:

Players of interest to the Browns at MLB:
Beau Bell UNLV 6’1 244 4.9 4
Beau Bell is a player that is all over the map in terms of where teams value him. I have
seen him listed anywhere from round 1 to off of teams draft boards. This is mostly due to
poor workouts. On film, Bell looks like an animal. He plays fast, hits hard, and has the
rage of a “mad dog at a meat market.” I feel like I’ve heard that before. The trouble is, at
the Senior Bowl he looked very slow and stiff, and then his pro day was a disaster
running in the 4.9 range. He did throw up 225 25 times, but NFL teams tend to frown on
LB’s who are slower than offensive linemen…except the Browns (see Andra Davis).
Bell’s effort in the weight room and working out is similar to mine…poor at best, and his
classroom success has been described as “adequate”. Adequate academic success at
UNLV translates t o brain-dead at most universities. Even with those issues, Bell
remains an intriguing prospect for the Browns because of his nastiness against the run,
and his hard hitting nature…something that is sorely missed in the middle of the Browns
defense. He has been evaluated heavily by the Browns, and could be our pick at 122, and
could end up being a great find with the proper motivation. In case Phil Dawson or
Zastudil go down, Bell was the place kicker and punter in high school as well. I’m
guessing he was stuffed in fewer lockers than those guys though.

Ryan and Kevin’s Draft Report, Day Two Special

2008-04-25T09:21:00.055-04:00

Some would think that with the Browns trading away there first three picks, we may take the year off, skip the draft report, and just enjoy the changing of the weather, the start of the Indians season, and watching LeBron dominate the playoffs. However, we thought about you, our readers, and how little you have to look forward to in life outside of this report. So for your sake and sanity, we decided to create a day two draft report that focuses on players who will be available on day two of the draft and will be on the Browns radar. Please feel free to email comments (positive only) to RyanandKevindraftreport@gmail.com, and you can always find a copy and leave comments on http://www.metcalfupthemiddle.blogspot.com/.

Ryan and I enjoyed a great NFL season, especially for the Browns. All of the talent we have drafted in recent years finally played to its potential, and we found a signal caller to make it all work in Derek Anderson. The Browns are now the hot pick in the NFL to be the next great team. With our exciting offense, the NFL has awarded us 5 primetime games. I, for one, am a little disappointed in the scheduling. I am a simple man who likes simple things. I like my beer cold, my morning paper on the hopper, and my Browns on Sunday. What does one do on Sunday in the fall and winter when there are no Browns to watch? Exercise…no, read a book…no, watch the Patriots….hell no. However, it is tough to complain that the Browns are now a team showing a lot of promise, and a team that has played itself into the national spotlight. With the talent they had last year, and the addition of two very good defensive linemen in Shaun Rodgers, and Corey Williams, along with adding WR Donte Stallworth and OL Rex Hadnot to our already potent offense, the Browns will be fun to watch. Hopefully, the brewing QB controversy will work itself out, and will not distract a team that is playing well together. If it all comes together as planned, we will be writing about who the Browns will be taking with the 32nd pick in next year’s draft. Go Browns.

This year’s draft report is dedicated to Eddie “The Assassin” Johnson, Eric Turner, and Gib Shanley…the voice of the Cleveland Browns for so many years.

Kevin’s First Round
*This does not include trades. There is a very good chance Baltimore trades back into the first round, possibly with KC at 17 to take QB Chad Henne. NE will undoubtedly try to move down to get Rivers later. Dallas will probably dangle one of their two first rounders to a team that is looking for a QB at the end of round 1.

1st Round
# Team Player POS School
1 Miami Jake Long OT Michigan
2 St. Louis Glenn Dorsey DT LSU
3 Atlanta Matt Ryan QB BC
4 Oakland Chris Long DE Virginia
5 Kansas City Vernon Gholston DE OSU
6 New York Jets Darren McFadden RB Arkansas
7 New England (from San Francisco) Keith Rivers LB USC
8 Baltimore Leodis McKelvin CB Troy
9 Cincinnati Sedrick Ellis DT USC
10 New Orleans Dominique Rodgers Cromartie CB Tenn St.
11 Buffalo Devin Thomas WR Mich St
12 Denver Ryan Clady OT Boise St
13 Carolina Branden Albert OG Virginia
14 Chicago Reshard Mendenhall RB Illinois
15 Detroit Derrick Harvey DE Florida
16 Arizona Jeff Otah OT Pitt
17 Kansas City (from Minn) Chris Williams OT Vanderbilt
18 Houston Mike Jenkins CB S. Florida
19 Philadelphia James Hardy WR Indiana
20 Tampa Bay DeSean Jackson WR CAL
21 Washington Limas Sweed WR Texas
22 Dallas (from Cleveland) Jonathon Stewart RB Oregon
23 Pittsburgh Gosder Cherilus OT BC
24 Tennessee Jerod Mayo LB Tennesee
25 Seattle Calais Campbell DE The U
26 Jacksonville Kentwan Balmer DE UNC
27 San Diego Kenny Phillips S Miami
28 Dallas Mario Manningham WR Michigan
29 San Francisco (from Indianapolis) Phillip Merling DE Clemson
30 Green Bay Antoine Cason CB Arizona
x New England (pick forfeited) CHEATERS Never Win
31 New York Giants Tyrelle Johnson S Arkansas St.

RYAN’S MOCK FIRST ROUND

1. Miami Dolphins - OLT Jake Long, Michigan
2. St. Louis Rams - DE Chris Long, Virginia
3. Atlanta Falcons - DT Glenn Dorsey, LSU
4. Oakland Raiders - DE Vernon Gholston, Ohio State
5. Kansas City Chiefs - DE Derrick Harvey, Florida
6. New York Jets - RB Darren McFadden, Arkansas
7. New England Patriots (from San Francisco) - CB Leodis McKelvin, Troy
8. Baltimore Ravens - QB Matt Ryan, Boston College
9. Cincinnati Bengals - DT Sedrick Ellis, USC
10. New Orleans - CB Mike Jenkins, South Florida
11. Buffalo Bills - LB Keith Rivers, USC
12. Denver Broncos - OT Ryan Clady, Boise State
13. Carolina Panthers - OT Branden Albert, Virginia
14. Chicago Bears - OT Jeff Otah, Pittsburgh
15. Detroit Lions - RB Jonathan Stewart, Oregon
16. Arizona Cardinals - CB Dominic Rodgers-Cromartie
17. Kansas City Chiefs - WR Devin Thomas, Michigan State
18. Houston Texans - OT Chris Williams, Vanderbilt
19. Philadelphia Eagles - OT Gosder Cherilus, Boston College
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - RB Rashard Mendenhall, Illinois
21. Washington Redskins - DE Phillip Merling, Clemson
22. Dallas Cowboys (from Cleveland) - RB Felix Jones, Arkansas
23. Pittsburgh Steelers - DT Kentwan Balmer, North Carolina
24. Tennessee Titans - OT Sam Baker, USC
25. Seattle Seahawks – WR Limas Sweed, Texas
26. Jacksonville Jaguars - LB Jerod Mayo, Tennessee
27. San Diego Chargers - S Kenny Phillips, Miami (Fla.)
28. Dallas Cowboys - WR DeSean Jackson, California
29. San Francisco 49ers (from Indianapolis) – CB Aqib Talib, Kansas
30. Green Bay Packers – WR James Hardy, Indiana
- New England Patriots - Pick forfeited for cheating.

31. New York Giants - CB Brandon Flowers, Virginia Tech

QB…The Browns Situation:

One of the classic battles of all time…. Good vs Evil, Seinfeld vs. Newman, Notorious BIG vs. Tupac, Heidi vs. LC, and now Derek Anderson vs. Brady Quinn. In Cleveland, everybody is taking sides on this one, and most of the fan base seems to be falling on the side of Brady Quinn. It’s amazing that a player with so much success (DA), leading a 4 win team to a 10-6 record, and in many NFL circles…leading the next great team to watch, is still less popular in Cleveland than former bust Quartebacks Tim Couch, Charlie Frye, and Kelly Holcomb. It is hard to pinpoint why the first Browns QB to go to a pro bowl since the beloved Bernie Kosar 20 years ago is less popular than Dave Couliet (Uncle Joey), but his inconsistency and the presence of Brady Quinn in town are two big reasons. It’s funny, even as we kept winning games last year I just kept saying, I’m not sold on Derek Anderson. Maybe it’s because Braylon, Kellen, and Joe J made circus catches all over the field for him. After all, DA would just throw the ball up for grabs, and those guys would go get it. Is that lucky, or just having confidence and a good repoire with your receivers? What I do know is that those same sentiments I have are widespread throughout the shores of Lake Erie, along with raw sewage and syringes. So when the Browns resigned DA, Phil Savage had to go into hiding for resigning a pro bowler. Without even starting a game, Browns fans and advertisers apparently are convinced that Brady Quinn is the next great thing. He is the only backup with a top 5 selling jersey in the league. He showed a lot of promise in camp (which he was late for) and in practice, and against the lowly SF 49ers late in the year. With such little experience, and with a very capable 10 win quarterback on the roster, it is amazing that everyone is ready to turn over the reins to Brady. Maybe, just maybe… is it because he is a local boy? Charlie Frye was a local boy too. Now I’m not saying Brady Quinn will be the next Charlie Frye, he is a much better player with a much better arm. But I will just warn Cleveland fans to peel away the hometown blinders and enjoy the situation we have…two good NFL quarterbacks. It’s been so long since we had one. Let’s just enjoy it.
PS: Phil, if you read this, Kansas City needs a Quarterback and has 6 picks in the first two rounds….I’m just saying.

QB
Matt Ryan BC 6’5’’ 225 4.89 1
Chad Henne Michigan 6’3’’ 230 4.92 2
Brian Brohm Louisville 6’3’’ 230 4.81 2
Joe Flacco Deleware 6’7” 237 4.84 2
Andre Woodson Kentucky 6’4’’ 229 4.85 2-3
John-David Booty USC 6’3’’ 218 4.85 3
Josh Johnson San Diego 6’3’’ 213 4.51 3
Colt Brennan Hawaii 6’3’’ 207 4.79 4
Erik Ainge Tennessee 6’6’’ 225 4.98 4-5
Kevin O’Connell SD State 6’5’’ 225 4.61 5
Denis Dixon Oregon 6’3’’ 195 4.5 5-6
Bernard Morris Marshall 6’3’’ 223 4.68 6-7
Matt Flynn LSU 6’2’’ 230 4.79 7
Kyle Wright Miami 6’4’’ 220 4.85 7

Players of interest to the Browns at QB:

Josh Johnson San Diego 6’3’’ 213 4.5 3-4
Josh Johnson is being touted as a Michael Vick clone with his speed, athleticism, and strong arm. Luckily for the NFL team that drafts him, and the entire dog population of the city he ends up in, Johnson is more of a cat person. Johnson led the nation in many offensive categories including Passing Efficiency, Total Offense, and Points accountable for, and finished his career at San Diego as the all time NCAA pass efficiency leader. He had multiple 400+ yard games including one against the Bulldogs of Yale (Although stats against Ivy league football players shouldn’t count).His senior year, he totaled 2,993 yards passing, almost 800 in rushing, had 43 touchdown passes, only 5 interceptions, and completed nearly 69% of his passes. He ended his career as a Torero with a 30-4 record and almost 12,000 yards in total offense and had a Td/Int ratio of 113/15. In comparison, the consensus number one QB in this class Matt Ryan had just over 9,000 yards, completed around 55% of his passes, and his TD/Int ratio was a pedestrian 56/37. Johnson is a raw athlete who has not faced the top competition, but with comparisons to Randall Cunningham, Michael Vick, and Vince Young, he could be one of college footballs best kept secrets, and with his size(6’5’’), speed (4.5), combo, and that pinpoint accuracy, he could be one of the NFL’s best soon.

Bernard Morris Marshall 6’3’’ 223 4.68 6-7
Bernard Morris is a good football player. He has cruised up draft boards after stellar performances at both the Hula Bowl and the East West Shrine game. His athleticism at 6’3’’ is impressive and he has the arm and physical strength to match (18 reps). The real question about Morris comes off the field. He was arrested in 2004 for assault and battery during a bar fight. Now I understand Huntington West Virginia is a slow town and mixing it up is every college student’s right. However, in this case, Morris allegedly hit a pregnant woman with a beer bottle and accepted a one year probation sentence. I don’t have it all figured out. However, there are a few simple rules in this life I always follow. Don’t eat yellow snow, never order shark at a restaurant, don’t mix beer and wine, and never, ever hit a woman, especially one who is with child. And if you plan on hitting a pregnant woman...at least be a man about it and put the beer bottle down. I am sure Morris is sorry, and he has been clean since, but that’s a pretty big red flag and will be an issue before a team drafts him.

Kyle Wright Miami 6’4’’ 220 4.85 7
Kyle Wright is a quarterback from the University of Miami with a weak arm. The Browns already have that guy in the form of Ken Dorsey. Wright came into Miami as the top rated high school recruit, was called a “once in a lifetime player” in a time when the Hurricanes were perennial National Championship contenders. Under the lead of Wright, the Hurricanes got progressively worse and are now mired in mediocrity. Surprisingly, even with a very poor college career and noodle arm, his size, athleticism, and smarts is good enough that he is considered a draft prospect. It just goes to show that you can wrap poop in a Hurricanes jersey (# 2), and there’s a good chance someone will draft it. All joking aside, Wright is a very intelligent quarter back with decent skills and will be a good clipboard holder in the NFL. Life could be worse. You could be the pregnant chick Bernard Morris hit.

Colt Brennan Hawaii 6’3’’ 207 4.79 4
Colt Brennan put up single season numbers that most college QB’s would drool over for there career stats. In just two season for Hawaii, Colt Brennan is the owner of 21 college records. As one of the most accurate passers in the history of college football, Brennan completed 70% of his passes, had 14,000 yards, and had 131 touchdowns and 42 interceptions in 38 starts. With his mobility, he also tacked on another 3,000 yards for a total of 17,000 yards in his career. Many will say he is a product of the June Jones system…the same that produced Tommy Chang, but there has to be some talent behind those numbers. Brennan started his career at Colorado, but was arrested after he snuck into a girl’s room, gave his best Dirk Diggler (you may know him from his hit power ballad, “You’ve got the touch”) impression, exposed himself, and fondled the young college co-ed. He was kicked out of Colorado, and luckily for Colt the Hawaiians are forgiving people and welcomed him to their program. It is unclear whether or not Colt will have to go house to house to proclaim himself a sexual deviant in his new NFL city. Look for a coach (who does not have a daughter) to take a chance on Colt in the 4th or 5th round.

Colt Brennan at Boulder

Mark Nicolet Hillsdale 6’2” 220 4.85 6-7
Mark Nicolet was a little school All American at Hillsdale (Michigan), not to be confused with Cliff Huxtable’s alma mater Hillman. Not only was Nicolet a star on the field, he was a deans list student majoring in Financial Management. Which is a little more impressive than physical therapy or general education. On the field, he led Hillsdale to an 8-3 season breaking over 7 GLIAC (Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference…I had to look that up) records and being that conferences player of the year with over 3,400 yards this season. His post season has been impressive, where he was the Cactus Bowl MVP (Division II all star game), and he has moved himself into a spot to be drafted.

Running Back…The Browns Situation:

A year ago at this time, we were all wondering what it would feel like to see Jamal Lewis in brown and orange. Would we cheer for him? Would we embrace him as our own? Would he run for 295 yards every practice against our first team D? Sure, Orpheus Roye had come from the Steelers and Eric Steinbach was coming from the Bengals, but this was different. This was the Ravens, and this was the man who had come to symbolize the thug-life Ravens regime, the one Browns fans loved to hate. But when Jamal took a handoff and rumbled 66 yards for a touchdown against the Bengals in Week 2, all those questions were emphatically answered. The cheers resonated through Cleveland Browns Stadium, and he may as well have been my cousin Jamal from then on out. Jamal provided the smash-mouth runner the Browns have been looking for and was also a home-run threat from everywhere on the field. Lewis finished the season with over 1,300 yards and his game-capping, tackle breaking run to glory against the Jets was the most exciting Browns run since “Run William Run” against the Falcons in 2002. Lewis was re-signed to a three year contract in the off-season. Jason Wright has been a solid backup and could be counted on to pop a 25 yard gain on a draw or shovel pass about every third game. Wright is not a long-term answer, but is a dependable number two back for now. Jerome “the Ghost” Harrison has earned his nickname over the last few years, as despite a barrel full of promise, he has disappeared on game day. Word is he was prone to some breakdowns in pass protection, and he had a little bit of fumble-itis early on, but since Romeo has forced him to carry a football everywhere he goes à la Darnell Jefferson, those problems should be behind him this year. He’s also dating Halle Berry, and keeps his report card in his helmet.

Top Prospects
1. Darren McFadden, Arkansas (6’1, 211, 4.33)
2. Rashard Mendenhall, Illinois (5’10, 225, 4.41)
3. Jonathan Stewart, Oregon (5’10, 235, 4.46)
4. Felix “El Gato” Jones, Arkansas (5’10, 207, 4.44)
5. Jamaal Charles, Texas (5’11, 200, 4.38)

Players of interest to the Browns at RB:

1. Kevin Smith, Central Florida (6’1, 217, 4.53): Smith is a big strong back with surprising quickness. In a draft that is very deep at the running back position, Smith’s stock has fallen because of a mediocre 40 yard dash. In fact, while his stock was once at the level of Clerks and Chasing Amy Kevin Smith, it has fallen slightly into Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Kevin Smith (though still a ways away from the Kevin Smith who showed up in Catch and Release...look it up). Mallrats or Dogma, Kevin Smith is productive. In his junior year, he ran for 2,567 yards and 29 touchdowns.

2. Steve Slaton, West Virginia (5’9, 197, 4.45): Slaton decided to enter the NFL draft after his junior year. His camp will tell you that Slaton left mostly because Coach Rich Rodriguez departed for Michigan. But with freshman Noel Devine taking carries away from Slaton last year, Slaton may have seen his stock falling rather than rising if he stayed another year. Slaton was set to go to the University of Maryland out of high school, but his scholarship was rescinded after high school graduation, marking Maryland’s worst decision since staying sympathetic to the Confederate Army in the Civil War. Slaton is a speed guy who will immediately help in the return game. As with any small, quick running back/return guy who has come along in the last twenty years, many compare Slaton to Dave Meggett.

3. Mike Hart, Michigan (5’9, 206, 4.69): Mike Hart came to Michigan fresh off a decorated high school career on an Indian Reservation in Syracuse, New York. Hart rushed for 58 touchdowns during his senior year in high school, breaking the record previously shared by these guys:

Hart had a productive career at Michigan. Nagging injuries have hurt his draft value, as Hart missed time during both his sophomore and senior seasons. Hart went over 1,000 carries between fumbles during college, but then inexplicably had two key fumbles in his final college game against Florida. Hart may get overlooked because he’s not flashy and has been around seemingly, but he may represent outstanding value for a team in Round 3 or 4.

4. Thomas Brown, Georgia (5’9, 204, 4.42): Brown lacks ideal height and bulk to be a front line starter, but he had a highly productive career at Georgia, finishing fifth on the University’s all time rushing list. (Note: This list is topped by one of Herschel Walker’s personalities. His other personalities also rank #7 and #9 on the all-time list). The major questions on Brown are durability, as he missed time during each of his years at Georgia with various ailments, including a serious knee injury that caused him to miss most of his senior year.

5. Chauncey Washington, USC (6’0, 215, 4.35): Washington is no doubt an extraordinarily talented back, but he comes with a couple of rather large red flags. Sadly for readers of the draft report, the results of the Wonderlic test are now kept tightly under wraps, leaving us unable to satisfy our readers’ thirst to find one thing that they do better than the prospects we are writing about. However, we feel confident awarding this year’s Roderick Green Memorial Award to Washington, who was forced to sit out not one but two seasons due to “academic issues.” Now USC is a fine academic institution (though it is no Stansbury), but after hearing that Matt Leinart took Ballroom Dancing during his final year, any team drafting a guy who couldn’t meet the minimum grade requirements in these types of classes will have to wonder exactly what they are getting. That said, Washington turned in a 4.35 at his Pro Day Workout, so it probably won’t matter.

Outlook: The Browns are pretty well set at the running back position. However, there are a number of talented backs who could fall into the fourth and fifth round area, representing great value. The Browns may have to think seriously about taking one of these backs with an eye on the future.

Wide Receiver…The Browns Situation:

Browns fans have finally embraced Braylon Edwards. All it took was a season in which he shattered Browns records for receiving yards and touchdowns in a single season (with almost 1,300 yards and 16 touchdowns), started in the Pro Bowl, donated over one million dollars to help students in Cleveland’s ailing public schools and personally paid for the funeral of a young fan he met through the Make A Wish Foundation. What really clinched it for most fans, though, was that Braylon was seen on the sideline during a game doing the O-H-I-O chant as Hang On Sloopy played. The Ohio State apologists remain ready to turn on Braylon the minute he drops a catchable pass (“Anthony Gonzalez makes that catch!”) or makes some noise about his contract (if Braylon had made the same comments that KII made this off-season, he would be crucified). Joe Jurevicius remained a dependable part of the offense with 50 catches and 3 touchdowns. After the season, Jurevicius did something that happens about as often as Britney Spears wears panties. He went to the Browns and requested they bring in someone else to fill the #2 hole (you guys are gross). The wear and tear on his body was too much, and he told the Browns he plans to retire after next year, presumably to open a bowling alley in Mentor. Enter Donte Stallworth from the Patriots. The Browns signed the mercurial wide receiver to a seven year deal. Stallworth played in the shadow of Randy Moss last season in New England, but will start opposite Braylon Edwards and allow Jurevicius to slide into the #3 hole (seriously, you’re disgusting). Most importantly, we should never be subjected to seeing Tim Carter in on an important down again for the Browns. Carter came in a trade from the Giants for Ruben Droughns, which was like the trade of a fruit cup for a box of raisins in an elementary school cafeteria...neither side was happy about it. The Browns don’t want to give Josh Cribbs too much to do, as being the top special teams player in the league and hosting Josh’s Cribbs on Fox Sports Ohio is a pretty full plate, but Cribbs will continue to develop in that 4th receiver role and be prepared to move into Jurevicius’ role after next year.

Top 5 Prospects
1. DeSean Jackson, Cal (6’0, 175, 4.35)
2. Devin Thomas, Michigan State (6’2, 215, 4.40)
3. Limas Sweed, Texas (6’4, 215, 4.48)
4. Malcolm Kelly, Oklahoma (6’4, 224, 4.58)
5. James Hardy, Indiana (6’6, 217, 4.45)

Players of interest to the Browns at WR:

1. Eddie Royal, Virginia Tech (5’10, 184, 4.39): Royal established himself as the premier punt returner in the ACC during his tenure at Virginia Tech. Royal also showed great strength, setting the school bench press record for someone in his weight class by benching 390 pounds. His nickname is Mr. Perfect due to his uncanny resemblance to the late Curt Henning. During his career, Royal scored touchdowns on receptions, rushes, passes and returns. This guy came up with more ways to score than the Kama Sutra.

Separated at Birth?

2. Donnie Avery, Houston (5’11, 192, 4.29): Avery is blessed with incredible speed. During his senior season, Avery made 91 catches for 1,500 yards and seven touchdowns. He finished third all time in total yards amassed in Conference USA, a list topped by Arnold Jackson (Mr. Drummond was fifth, Willis was disqualified after he held up the student union at gunpoint, and Dudley had to stop playing after his encounter with the man at the bike shop). His individual workout produced a 6.30 3 cone drill, which may mean nothing until you consider that only one other receiver ran under a 6.80. His change of direction and “suddenness” skills are as good as anyone in the draft. If Avery were three inches taller, he’d be considered an elite prospect in this draft.

3. Dexter Jackson, Appalachian State (5’10, 182, 4.27): Jackson catapulted into the national spotlight (and onto the cover of Sports Illustrated) when Appalachian State went into the Big House and knocked off Michigan at the beginning of the college football season, marking the biggest upset at Michigan since Sigma Chi beat Phil Delta Theta in the 1995 Mud Bowl. Jackson ran a blistering 4.27 40 yard dash at the Combine, which may make him the fastest player in the draft. However, only (only?!?!?) a 30.5 inch vertical for a guy who is 5’9 may hurt his prospects as a receiver. No one questions his ability to step right in and help immediately in the return game.

4. Paul Hubbard, Wisconsin (6’3, 221, 4.49): I have no idea if Paul Hubbard is in any way related to former Cav legend and Mayfield Heights resident Phil Hubbard, but I’m just going to assume he is. Hubbs, as I’ve begun to call him, lost some draft value at the Combine. After training with his godfather, Dinner Bell Mel Turpin, Hubbard ran slower than expected, turning in a 4.49 40. Turp the Burb was jettisoned after the Combine, and a series of grueling workouts (and French lessons) with Ben Poquette got Hubbard down to a 4.38 40 yard dash time during his Pro Day. Hubbard stands 6’3 with a 40 inch vertical leap, which will make him an effective red zone target at the next level.

5. Arman Shields, Richmond (6’1, 194, 4.37): Like many of the receivers in this year’s draft, Shields had what scouts call a “Wow Combine.” However, coming off a knee injury and coming from a school known more for producing guys who wear shirts with their collars popped than guys who make it in the NFL, this was even more important for Shields. Shields posted a 4.37 40 yard dash with 19 reps of 225 pounds on the bench press and a 37.5 inch vertical leap. With his Combine performance, Shields separated himself from other small school prospects at the Wide Receiver position.

Outlook: The Browns appear to be in good shape at the Wide Receiver position. You can pencil in Stallworth, Edwards and Jurevicius as the starters, with help coming from Cribbs. Phil Savage is not ready to give up on Syndric Steptoe or Travis Wilson as the fifth Wide Receiver, and Steve Sanders will compete for the fifth receiver spot if he can take time away from the KEG House to get some training in. Phil Savage has said on the record that the Browns will not draft a wide receiver in this year’s draft. However, as our old pal Fitzie from South Boston might say, “ya nevuh no.”

Tight End…The Browns Situation:

Laugh all you want at him, but if Kellen Winslow really were a soldier, wouldn’t you want him in your platoon? Winslow followed up his outstanding 2006 season with an even more dominant 2007 campaign. Despite being plagued by a bum knee and a separated shoulder, Winslow gained over 1,100 yards receiving and was the player on the Browns other defenses had to plan to stop, opening things on the outside for Braylon Edwards. Some of the catches Winslow made were downright spectacular, including what should have been the game-winner in Arizona (Winslow was “forced out” like he was Jim McGreevey...hi oh, that’s for all the political readers in the audience). Winslow simply went up and “out-wanted” two defensive backs for the ball. Winslow also has the intense, sometimes maniacal, desire to win, and honestly, if we needed a sack on one play, Kam Wimbley is probably the only player on the Browns defense I’d choose over Winslow. The Browns other tight ends play their roles well. Rob Chudzinski’s offensive playbook did not include the patented Steve Heiden two yard catch on third and one, but the savvy veteran provided excellent pass protection, and used his gravity defying white man flat-top to distract mesmerized defenders. Darnell “Rinky” Dinkins is a devastating drive blocker. Sure, he may have had only one more catch than you or I did last year, but he was also a key contributor on special teams, forcing a big fumble on a punt return against Baltimore.

Top 5 Prospects
1. Martellus Bennett, Texas A&M (6’6, 259, 4.68)
2. Dustin Keller, Purdue (6’2, 242, 4.53)
3. Fred Davis, USC (6’3, 255, 4.76)
4. Brad Cottam, Tennessee (6’8, 270, 4.63)
5. John Carlson, Notre Dame (6’5, 251, 4.88)

Players of interest to the Browns at TE:

1. Jermichael Finley, Texas (6’5, 243, 4.82): Finley’s parents were of course huge fans of the Jackson 5. They just couldn’t figure out who they liked the most, Michael or Jermaine. They decided to hedge their bets and go with Jermichael, which was better than the alternative, Janito. Finley was a surprise entry into the draft after his redshirt sophomore year. With one kid already at home and another on the way, Finley decided the time was right. Finley is an outstanding athlete, having been offered a dual football and basketball scholarship to Arizona. However, his athleticism didn’t translate at the Combine (4.82 in the 40 yard dash). As a blocker, Finley is about as effective as the condoms he’s been using. One scout compares him to Randy McMichael, which can’t be a good sign for the mother of his kids...

2. Kellen Davis, Michigan State (6’7, 262, 4.59): Davis went both ways in college (college is a time for experimentation, after all), which either showed his versatility and athleticism, or prepared him for a career in the Arena Football League. Davis has great size and speed, and was regarded more as an athlete than a football player until his senior season and post-season workout. His 22 bench press reps at the Combine show good strength, but Davis needs to become a more willing blocker in order to make himself into a total package.

3. Martin Rucker, Missouri (6’5, 251, 4.75): Rucker is known as “T” to his friends, and Mr. T. to everyone else. Rucker had an outstanding senior season at Missouri, notching 84 catches for 834 yards and 8 touchdowns to help Missouri to a surprisingly strong season. Rucker was a Mackey Award finalist. If the draft were held directly after the season, Rucker may have been a second round pick. However, his stock dropped dramatically after a sub-par Senior Bowl and a hamstring injury that kept him sidelined at the Combine. Rucker is a good athlete who will help in the passing game, particularly in an H-Back-style system. He pities the poor fool who doesn’t draft him.

4. Jacob Tamme, Kentucky (6’4, 236, 4.58): Tamme graduated from the University of Kentucky in THREE SEMESTERS. Not sure if that says more about Tamme or the University of Kentucky, but it is impressive either way. Here’s a picture of Tamme in his UK dorm room.

Tamme was a receiver in high school, and brought his considerable receiving talent to Kentucky, finishing his career with 133 catches for over 1400 yards and 11 touchdowns, and garnering all SEC recognition in each of his final two years. Tamme was a finalist for the Danny Wuerffel Awards, which is apparently given out at an awards ceremony put on by Wuerffel himself in his parents rec room once a year so that people remember who he is.

5. Joey Haynos, Maryland (6’8, 259, 4.87): I’m going to be honest. I was struggling to find a fifth tight end to list here. But ultimately the decision came down to this: How many draft prospects are digging for nose gold in their official draft prospect picture? Like many tight ends, Haynos was a good basketball player in high school, but realized the opportunity for a 6’8 white guy is much better as a tight end than as a power forward. Haynos turned down small school hoops scholarship offers to walk on to the Maryland football team, and while at Maryland added 50 pounds of muscle. Haynos brings his basketball skills to the football field and has the ability to “box out” defenders to make short catches in traffic. Haynos has the opportunity to be the next Steve Heiden on third and two. If he grows a flattop, I’ll buy his jersey.

Don’t tell me that’s just a scratch!

Outlook: Though they play their roles well, Steve Heiden and Darnell Dinkins are limited in what they bring to the table. The Browns are in talks to extend Kellen Winslow’s contract well into the future. However, given that Winslow gets beat up more than a ten year old redhead with glasses, it makes sense to start developing someone else. The Browns brought Jermichael Finley into town ten days before the draft, and could consider him if he is still around when they pick in the 4th.

Offensive Tackle…The Browns Situation:

In last year’s draft report, we said “the time to upgrade the depth and talent along the offensive line is now.” In fact, Browns fans have been saying that since the days of Dan Fike. Last year, the Browns finally listened to us, proving again that if the Browns would just hire us, the lakefront will soon be littered with Vince Lombardi trophies, rather than being littered with...well...litter. (OK, so maybe Ryan thought Kevin Bentley was going to be a stud and Kevin suggested Travis Wilson had the best hands of any wide receiver in the 2006 draft...whatever). The Browns chose Joe Thomas with the #3 pick in the draft a year ago. Thomas received the call while on a fishing trip in Wisconsin, making this the most important fishing trip since Ahab went after the Great White Whale (see, it’s not just about the draft here at draft report headquarters...we read books occasionally). Not only did Thomas start from day one, anchor the Browns line and end up as the first Browns offensive linemen in 20 years to go to the Pro Bowl, but he also created a domino effect along the offensive line. Cousin Kevin Shaffer was switched over to his familiar right tackle position and performed well. He is even welcome back at the family reunion for now. Ryan Tucker received his “SANE” stamp and flew out of the cuckoo’s nest just in time to be suspended the first four games under the NFL’s substance abuse policy. When Tucker returned, he provided important depth along the offensive line and started the second half of the season at right guard after Seth McKinney was placed on injured reserve. The Browns gave up 5 sacks in the first quarter and a half of the first game of the season. For the next fifteen and half games, the offensive line gave up a total of 14 sacks. The Browns offseason moves make Tucker’s likely position a little unclear going into the 2008 season. He may continue as the starting right guard, where he proved a punishing drive blocker, or he may compete with Shaffer for the starting right tackle position. Either way, offensive tackle has transformed from a perennial weakness into one of the strengths of this Browns team. Nat Dorsey continues to provide additional depth and remains my favorite person named Nat who does not own the Peach Pit.

Top 5 Prospects
1. Jake Long, Michigan (6’7, 325, 5.35)
2. Ryan Clady, Boise State (6’6, 319, 4.90)
3. Chris Williams, Vandy (6’6, 320, 5.25)
4. Jeff Otah, Pittsburgh (6’7, 338, 5.35)
5. Sam Baker, USC (6’5, 308, 5.20)

Players of interest to the Browns at OT:

1. King Dunlap, Auburn (6’9, 309, 5.06): At the beginning of this year, King Dunlap was expected to make a strong move into becoming an elite tackle prospect. He was a pre-season All-American and All SEC selection. The hype was there and ready to go, but the performance simply was not. Coaches and scouts kept giving him chance after chance because they really wanted him to be good, like watching a hyped movie over and over again, waiting for it to get funny (I’m looking at you, The Simpsons Movie). Dunlap is a pretty good athlete, as evidenced by his 5.06 time in the 40. However, only 20 reps of 225 pound bench press is a cause for concern.

2. Brandon Keith, Northern Iowa (6’5, 343, 5.16): Keith was overlooked by the presence of All-American Chad Rinehart on the other side of the offensive line, but scouts like the potential of this behemoth, who bench pressed 31 reps of 225 at the Combine. Keith originally signed with Oklahoma, but quit multiple times during August practice, eventually transferring to junior college and then to UNI. Keith was recently arrested for rioting outside of an Events Center in Cedar Falls, Iowa. That’s what happens when you are 343, I guess. If you or I are making noise outside of an events center in Cedar Falls, Iowa (and we will), we may be charged with disorderly conduct or assault. But when you’re 343, it turns into a full scale riot.

3. Barry Richardson, Clemson (6’7, 320, 5.45): Barry Richardson sounds like he should be your accountant, not a 320 pound brute who can physically engulf opponents the way this guy engulfs cheeseburgers:

(Ed. Note: I realize you expected a different picture, but the enormous guy who is usually pictured with the enormous cheeseburger was actually swallowed whole by this little fella. RIP, cheeseburger guy).

Richardson is big and strong, but he lacks the quickness to keep up with the speed rushers he will certainly find in the NFL. This knocked him down in the rankings. However, some team may consider Richardson at guard and he could be a strong mid-round prospect.

4. John Greco, Toledo (6’5, 305, 5.29): Greco enrolled at Toledo after a standout career at Boardman High School, the alma mater of one Bernard J. Kosar. Toledo had an explosive offense, and Greco, a two-year captain and four year starter for the Rockets, helped lead the way. Greco inevitably draws comparisons to former Rocket lineman Nick Kaczur, now with the New England Patriots. Would it be surprising to see the Patriots jump on a guy like Greco early on Day 2? Not as surprising as finding out that Teddy Bruschi likes Kaczur to pee on him before Super Bowls to get fired up.

5. Geoff Schwartz, Oregon, (6’6, 332, 5.45): In honor of passover, our next offensive tackle prospect is Geoff Schwartz of Oregon. Simply by virtue of being listed in the Draft Report, Schwartz immediately moves into the list of greatest Jewish athletes of all time. With Scott Schoenweis being named in the Mitchell Report last fall, we’ve suddenly got an opening at #7...so step aside former 49er tight end John Frank.

OUTLOOK: The Browns are in good shape at the offensive tackle position (pause to see if I can actually feel hell freezing over). With Thomas, Shaffer and Tucker able to start and Nat Dorsey and Lennie Friedman in reserve, the Browns needs are not at the offensive tackle position. But Phil Savage has a keen eye for offensive line prospects on the second day of the draft, so the guys listed or many others could be in line to become the next Jon Dunn or Andrew Hoffman...just kidding, love ya Phil!

Offensive Guard/Center…The Browns Situation:

After years of neglect, the Browns finally made the offensive line a priority last year. Gone are the days of blocking with guys like Lewis Dawson, Enoch Demar, Brad Bedell, and Barry Stokes. The results have been overwhelming, as Browns fans are finally able to watch our receivers run a route that doesn’t begin with “HOT,” and 3rd and 1 became a down and distance the Browns were happy about. The world hasn’t seen a transformation like this since David Carradine went from Louis Skolnick in Revenge of the Nerds I, Tri Lamb at Adams College and vice president of the Greek Council, to the sheik, cool “Lew” in Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation. One would think that with such a solid season running and passing behind that line, and with the return of Ryan Tucker starting at right guard and Eric Steinbach starting at left guard, the Browns would address other needs. However, the Browns were busy this off season adding depth along the line. It’s sort of the Hugh Heffner line of thinking…why settle for two blond bombshell playmate wives when you can have three. I guess you figure you never know when someone will go down with a knee injury (late nights at the Grotto can be dangerous). They signed a solid starting guard from Houston, Rex Hadnot, who will challenge Tucker for a starting role, and resigned both Seth McKinney and Lennie Friedman (mazel), both of whom have been very solid when they saw duty in the past. Not to mention the intriguing possibility of LeCharles Bentley making a miraculous comeback. Now there is little chance that he can regain the form that made him the prize free agent signing a few years back, but if he is healthy, our offensive line will be deeper than Paris Hilton’s… bank account ( I know where you think I was going with that and I’m disgusted that you would even think that..)

At center, Hank Fraley and his belly return for another year at center where he has been very solid. After trading away Jeff Faine for a draft pick that landed us D’Qwell Jackson, the Browns center carousel went through more drama than a bad episode of Gossip Girl ( oh wait, there has been no bad episode of Gossip Girl or GG to those in the know). By signing Hank Fraley a year ago, the Browns solidified the position by getting a guy who is very reliable, and a guy who has the very real possibility of challenging Kobayashi for the hot dog eating competition when his career with the Browns comes to an end. Fraley defies logic as surprisingly agile and athletic for a man blessed with the body of Chris Farley circa the Chippendales’ SNL skit with Patrick Swayze (get well soon).

Watching a man with that belly getting downfield and leading Jamal Lewis to the end zone to seal the victory against the Jets last year gave a “big boned” man like myself a lot of pride. With Friedman and LCB in the mix to back up Fraley, the Browns have little need to address this position in the draft.

Positional Rankings:
Branden Albert Virginia 6’6’’ 309 5.17 1
Roy Shuening Oregon State 6’4’’ 306 5.29 2
Chilo Rachal USC6-5 315 5.16 2
John Greco OG Toledo 6’5’’ 305 5.29 3-4
Mike McGlynn Pittsburgh 6’4’’ 311 5.38 3-4
Donald Thomas Connecticut 6’4’’ 303 5.00 3-4
Eric Young Tennessee 6’4’’ 310 518 4
Robert Felton Arkansas 6’4’’ 315 5.5 4-5
Drew Radovich USC 6’5’’ 305 5.33 5
Chad Rinehart Northern Iowa 6’5’’ 320 5.5 5-6
Pedro Sosa Rutgers 6’4’’ 300 5.3 5-6
Chris McDuffie Clemson 6’4’’ 330 5.3 6
Mike Gibson California 6’4’’ 305 5.27 6-7
Andrew Crumney Maryland 6’5’’ 300 5.29 6-7
Bernadeau Mckenzie Bentley 6’4’’ 298 5.25 7

Centers
Mike Pollack Arizona State 6’4’’ 300 4.99 2
Steve Justice Wake Forest 6’4’’ 293 5.24 2-3
John Sullivan Notre Dame 6’4’’ 301 5.35 3
Doug Legursky Marshall 6’3’’ 312 5.22 4-5
Kory Lichtensteiger Bowling Green 6’2’’ 298 5.25 5
Cody Wallace Texas A&M 6’4’’ 296 5.3 6
Jamey Richard Buffalo 6’5’’ 295 5.22 6-7
Fernando Valesco Georgia 6’3’’ 318 5.14 7
Matt Spanos USC 6-5 317 5.47 7

Players of interest to the Browns at OG/C:

Kory Lichtensteiger Bowling Green 6’2’’ 298 5.25 5
The center with the highest blocking grade average (87.8%) of all major colleges was Bowling Green’s Kory Lichtensteiger (gazuntike). Kory has the versatility to play both guard and center...something most NFL teams are high on right now, especially Phil Savage and the Browns. His stock is falling slightly due to a poor showing at the Senior Bowl against the top competition. However, he has a strong hand punch, nimble feet, and a dolphin tattooed on his left thigh (don’t worry about how I know that). Kory is smart, able to make line calls, and has the size and skill to be a strong center in the league, and could be great value in round 5.

Doug Legursky Marshall 6’3’’ 312 5.22 4-5
If the NFL draft was based on strength, Legursky would be first round talent. If it was based on looks, he would be and undrafted free agent. He is one ugly SOB, kind of a mix of Julian Tavares and Meatloaf. Legursky had an impressive bench at the combine and proved he could run sub 5 40 yard dashes. Not bad for a center with his size. He is very solid in pass protection, allowing only one sack in his career. His upper body strength allows him to be very physical in short areas. His teammates nicknamed him the “animal” for his work in the weight room. He practically lived at the facility, either in the weight room or in the film room, something his coaches raved about. He is the kind of guy that may be slightly limited athletically, but his strength and effort make up for it. Legursky reminds me of the great Mike Baabarian, only without the good looks and acting skills.

Matt Spanos USC 6-5 317 5.47 7
No relation to Jesse, Matt is an absolute behemoth that has played every offensive line position at USC before settling in at Center for his senior campaign. There are not many 6’5’’ centers out there, but at the next level, that kind of size can be a huge asset. After a brutal combine, a 5.5 ish 40 yard dash, and not impressing at the East West game, Spanos is sliding toward the 7th round area. On top of that, he missed a lot of time for being academically ineligible. At USC, where there are as many tutors for football players as there are pictures of Brittany Spears crotch on the internet , that’s pretty pathetic. However, Spanos is still learning the position, and can play all three on the oline, and with his 6’5’’ frame, he could be a project for a team like the Browns that doesn’t need him to step in right away.

Bernadeau Mckenzie Bentley 6’4’’ 298 5.25 7
This small school prospect is a big fellow that dominated sub par competition. It should be noted that he played at Bentley, spurning scholarship offers from higher profile programs so that he could play close to his disabled mother. Awww. Mckenzie is a dominating force in the running game. However, he lacks overwhelming strength, and a mean streak (he’s a momma’s boy after all). He is a project in the truest sense of the word, but one who could end up paying off well if a team takes the time to teach him the game and he practices amongst high level professionals.

Shawn Murphy Utah State 6’4’’ 320 5.14 7
Shawn is the son of Atlanta Brave great and former NL MVP Dale Murphy. He is fairly raw after only spending 2 seasons on offense after starting his career on the d line. Murphy has had an irregular path to the NFL draft, and as a result he will be a 25 year old rookie. He started his college career at Ricks College (BYU Idaho), took two years off to serve his mission in Brazil before returning to college football at Dixie State Community College Rebels (known more for there academics than there athletics) where he led them to an appearance in the Rotary Bowl (may be a BCS game soon), and then to Utah State. Impressively, he ranked as one the highest rated guards in the country after only two years at the position. Despite a very fast 40 time, scouts have characterized Murphy as being soft in the midsection (welcome to the club). Now with a name like Shawn Murphy, I can understand this and attribute it to the like ofgGreen beer and Jameson, but with his Mormon upbringing, and subsequent neglect for libations, there’s just no excuse for that. With Murphy, a team in the seventh round will get a great backup with a chance to crack the stating lineup, and a very reliable designated driver.

Defensive Tackle…The Browns Situation:

“We must get fatter” has been the war cry of the Browns for as many years as “It just doesn’t matter” has been the war cry of Camp North Star. Now, as anyone who has watched the Browns over the past two years has learned, fatter does not necessarily equal better (except in the case of Jared from Subway...I bet that smug son of a bitch was a lot less annoying when he was a tub of goo...but I digress). Big Ted Washington has done little during his two years in Cleveland except provide shade for most of the team and fans on hot training camp days. After an ineffective beginning of the season, Washington was replaced by Ethan Kelley and then placed on injured reserve. He is expected to retire this off-season. Kelley Kelley Kelley Kelley Kelley Kelley Kelley Kelley, K-E-L-L-E-Y had his moments, but was too often single blocked and did not keep the offensive linemen from getting to the second level. Shaun Smith was signed as the heir apparent to Ted Washington, and showed excellent production when he was inserted at the NT position. However, injuries to Orpheus Roye forced Shaun to move outside, and while he was adequate at DE, the net result was to weaken the middle of the line. Enter Shaun Rogers from Detroit. Rogers was traded to the Browns for Leigh Bodden and a third round pick. Rogers comes with some baggage, but this is actually a nice change. For once, a supremely talented player with some baggage is coming to Cleveland for a fresh start rather than us watching guys leave the Browns and find happiness and production elsewhere. Rogers is a former first round pick and two-time pro bowler. Some in the media question his effort while he was in Detroit, and for that, some like to compare him to Gerard Warren, which is a huge mistake. As I said, Rogers has been to two pro bowls. The only time Gerard Warren has been to Hawaii was when he auditioned for the role of Hurley on Lost (he’s a big fan). Rogers weighed over 10 pounds at birth...If he’s half as tough as his mother must be, he’ll be a welcome addition.

Players of interest to the Browns at DT:

1. Frank Okam, Texas (6’5, 347, 5.32): One scouting service compares Frank Okam to Shaun Rogers. The scout said that “these two belong in Forrest Gump’s Box of Chocolates”...despite the mildly racist undertones, I think the scout meant to say that both players have consistency issues. Okam is big and strong, and was an all Big 12 selection 3 times during his career, but his motor is as inconsistent as a 1983 Chevelle. If Okam can make plays like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2gWVRwLT-w), then I want him on my team. Okam was a team leader, and one scout said “he would run through walls for his teammates.” There must be something genetic about this, as Okam’s dad has been running through walls for years...

2. Jason Shirley, Fresno State (6’5, 329, 5.05): Shirley you can’t be serious that this guy made the draft report? Indeed he did, though the first scouting report I read on Shirley began “Put aside his arrest and suspension-riddled senior year during Hula Bowl and Texas vs. The Nation practices.” Well, way to put those aside, Jason. Shirley was suspended two games before the season even began for conduct detrimental to the team. Before he could come back, he was arrested on suspicion of DWI and suspended an additional five weeks. After five weeks away, he was reinstated on November 15. Two days later, he was cited for driving with a suspended license and dismissed from the team. Message to Jason Shirley: You are 329 pounds...you will be noticed while driving on your suspended license. Despite all that, Shirley is a big man who is surprisingly agile, so some team will take a chance on him in the late rounds.

3. Maurice Murray, Mexico State (6’3, 334, 4.98): Do something for me. When you get a chance, go outside and have someone time you in the 40 yard dash. My guess is you will come up somewhere in the 6-8 second range. Then imagine that you are 334 pounds and could make that run in under 5 seconds? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Maurice Murray. Murray is the rare prospect who has caused the term upside to move from the NBA Draft to the NFL Draft. At New Mexico State, he played Nose Tackle in a 3-4 system. He did not produce eye-popping statistics at New Mexico State, but he did fill his role in the system.

Outlook: The Browns seem pretty well set at the NT position. Shaun Smith and Shaun Rogers are both young and signed to long term deals. Ethan Kelley remains on board in case of injury. However, given his experience in the 3-4, it wouldn’t be a shock to see the Browns jump on Maurice Murray late on Day 2, or even as an undrafted free agent.

Defensive End….The Browns Situation:

Heading into the off-season, no position needed a bigger tune-up than defensive end. We say goodbye to arguably the best defensive player since the Browns have returned in Orpheus Roye. Phil Savage, who is a sucker for making big splashes on day one of free agency, pulled off another big one this year by trading for recently franchised Green Bay DE Corey Williams in exchange for a second round draft pick. We also hear Phil Savage is a sucker for R Kelly songs and Japanese anime, but that’s a story for another publication. Along with the addition of Shaun Rodgers…hopefully not the version that looks like he ate the backup kicker in training camp, the defensive line will be a strong point on the team. Opposite of Williams will be Robaire Smith, Louis Leonard, and Shaun Smith where he will be rotating in at both NT and DE. In a classic case of addition by subtraction, The Browns actually got better when Simon Fraser decided to test the free agent, and by some minor miracle, the Falcons actually signed him away from us. With a plethora of 3-4 Ends available in the late rounds, Phil could snatch up a guy like Keilen Dykes or Lionel Dotson to provide some youthful talent to this position.

Player Rankings:
DE
Chris Long Virginia 6’3’’ 272 4.75 1
Vernon Gholston OSU 6’3’’ 266 4.65 1
Derrick Harvey Florida 6’5 274 4.84 1
Phillip Merling Clemson 6’4’’ 276 4.731
Calais Campbell Miami 6’8’’ 290 5.04 1
Lawrence Jackson USC 6’4’’ 270 4.821-2
Darrell Robertson Georgia Tech 6’4’’ 255 3
Kendall Langford Hampton 6’6’’ 287 4.95 3
Jeremy Thompson Wake Forest 6’5’’ 265 4.75 3-4
Jason Jones Eastern Michigan 6’5’’ 273 4.76 3-4
Chris Ellis VT 6’4’’ 263 4.71 4
Johnny Dingle West Virginia 6’2’’ 265 4.95 4-5
Brian Johnston Gardner-Webb 6’5’’ 275 4.68 4-5
Chris Harrington Texas A&M 6’5’’ 265 4.84 5
Wallace Gilberry Alabama 6’2’’ 268 4.98 5-6
Tommy Blake TCU 6’3’’ 272 4.78 5-6
Kenny Iwebema Iowa 6’4’’ 275 4.91 5-6
Rudolph Hardie Howard 6’2’’ 270 4.77 6
Trevor Scott Buffalo 6’5’’ 256 4.59 6
Louis Holmes Arizona 6’4’’ 263 4.84
Jeremy Geathers UNLV 6’2’’ 256 4.96 6
Chase Ortiz TCU 6’2’’ 250 4.9 6-7
Eric Foster Rutgers 6’2’’ 277 4.89 7

3-4 Specific DE’s
Lionel Dotson Arizona 6’4’’ 295 5.38 5-6
Nick Hayden Wisconsin 6’4’’ 291 5.15 5-6
Letroy Guion Florida State 6’4” 303 5.31 6
Marcus Harrison Arkansas 6’3” 317 5.06 5-6
Barry Booker VT 6’4’’ 284 4.96 6-7
Keilen Dykes West Virginia 6’4’’ 306 5.08 6
Derek Lokey Texas 6’2’’ 288 5.18 6-7
Marcus Dixon Hampton 6’4’’ 292 5.2 7

Players of interest to the Browns:

Lionel Dotson Arizona 6’4’’ 295 5.38 5-6
Lionel Dotson, nicknamed the L-Train (not to be confused with Lionel L-Train Johnson of the TNBC show City Guys) by his teammates because of his non stop motor, is one of the top prospects to be a 3-4 end. However, his 5.38 40 time at the combine left many scouts disappointed. Scouts want to know if the quick first step he showed that led him to 6.5 sacks and nine stops behind of the line of scrimmage is more telling that that time. He has a very good anchor against the run, and his productivity behind the line leads me to believe he can be very effective as an end in the 3-4. Off the field, Dotson is an eagle scout, volunteers with the elderly, and for the Salvation Army, so you can bet he won’t be playing “Make it Rain” at Club Melee, or getting stabbed in the back by his wife. He could be an interesting selection for Cleveland in the 5th or 6th round if he can fit a helmet over the halo over his head.

Letroy Guion Florida State 6’4” 303 5.31 6
Calling Letroy Guion a “student-athlete” is really using the term loosely. He was part of the Florida State cheating scandal, and in his junior year, it was actually discovered that during the Music City Bowl, Guion wasn’t actually enrolled at the University. (Really coach Bowden…wow) Instead of going on “Double Secret Probation” for his senior year, he abandoned his quest for a degree in General Studies and whatever career that leads to and declared for the NFL draft. Unfortunately for Letroy, he could have used another year of college football where he would have been one of the top players for the Seminoles. As a result of his curtailed career, Guion only played in 14 games and had 66 career tackles. There are guys in this report that recorded that many tackles halfway through there freshman years. His combine numbers did little to make people forget the poor production in college and questionable character. However, in the 6th round, a young prospect with hopefully his best football ahead of him could be a good project.

Nick Hayden Wisconsin 6’4’’ 291 5.15 5-6
Hayden is a weight room warrior (34 reps) whose strength does not always show on the football field. Translation…he’s a pussy (I really hope he doesn’t read this publication). For a 300 pounder, he moves pretty well, posting a 5.1 40, and jumping a 32 inch vertical. He is a bull rusher, with a wide array of moves, but needs to improve his anchor to play tougher against the run. He needs to get nasty (Ricky) against the run, and use that brute strength in the trenches, instead of just the weight room. If he can develop a mean steak, he could end up being a very good 3-4 defensive end.

Keilen Dykes West Virginia 6’4’’ 306 5.08 6
Dykes is a native of Youngstown, Ohio, or “The YO” to locals. He is the most versatile linemen in the draft playing some NT, some DT, and some D end. He showed during the East West game that he may be the top 3-4 end prospect of anyone in that game (granted it is the JV version of the Senior Bowl, but impressive nonetheless). Somehow, this two time First Team Big East player wasn’t invited to the Combine, but his pro day numbers were great. 5.08 forty, 33 reps, and a 30 inch vertical. Not bad for a guy lugging round 300 pounds. Dykes pretty much won every Mountaineer award on the field and off the field (academic and workout). He played in 44 games as a Mountaineer and led the once mediocre program to a 41-9 record over his four years. His coaches acknowledged him as the key piece to the success of the Mountaineers (right before they packed up for Ann Arbor). Dykes would be a wonderful fit for the Browns, and with his hard working attitude, and great character and smarts, Phil Savage definitely has Dykes on his radar (Creep).

Barry Booker VT 6’4’’ 284 4.96 6-7
Booker was a stud on one of the top defensive units in the country. Booker is on the smaller side for a 3-4 end, but he is strong enough against the run, and he would be a pest in the backfield due to his quick step and speed rushing. It is said Booker “lacks muscle tone” (if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that…) but could develop his body in an NFL lifting program to match his speed with more strength. Instead of simply plugging in a big guy to take up blockers, Booker could be a guy who could make some plays behind the line of scrimmage. Virginia Tech defenders always come ready to play in the NFL, and Booker should continue that trend, and could be an excellent rotational defensive lineman.

Linebackers…The Browns Situation:

The 80’s was full of great shows, movies, music, and general pop culture. There was izod shirts, friendship pins, trapper keepers, keyboard ties, singers like Rick Astley, Billy Ocean, shows like 21 jump Street, ALF, and the Just say No campaign.….. But what I remember about the 80’s is great linebackers in Cleveland. Clay Matthews, Mike Johnson, Chip Banks, Eddie Johnson (RIP), David Grayson, Dick Ambrose, Tom Cousineau, Van Waiters, and Anthony Griggs. The latest decade… Rahim Abdullah, Darrin Hambrick, Wali Rainer, Marty Moore, Ben Taylor, Nick Speegle, and Lenoy Jones. All would be great candidates for a Where are they now special. I know one place they are not…In the NFL. With the arrival of Kamerion Wimbley, the Browns have found an outside linebacker who can get to the QB. His sack production was down last year from 11 to 6, but without another player on the roster who can penetrate the line of scrimmage, teams were able to key of Kam. Wimbley could also use another move. He is like the guy on the dance floor that only busts out the robot. He has got to dig deeper into his repertoire. The head dip Kam does is cute and all, but more coaching and technique is necessary for him to become an elite pass rusher. Willie McGinnest is still alive and making plays. Antwaan Peek struggled to stay healthy, but provided some pressure when healthy, and is a good compliment to Wimbley when he is in there. Backup David McMillan continues to make plays….in training camp. Chaun Thompson is gone, and gone with him is a small piece of my heart. I wish him all the best in Houston. It’s not his fault Butch Davis is a putz and drafted him 3 rounds to early. To replace Chaun, the Browns have brought in Shante Orr, a former Wolverine (so he will need at least 12 sacks before he is accepted in Cleveland). The Browns will most likely use one of their early 2nd day picks on a pass rushing OLB like UCLA’s Bruce Davis, or Cincinatti’s Craig DeAngelo.

Inside, the Browns have a far from stellar trio of Andra Davis, Leon Williams, and D’Quell Jackson. Andra Davis had his worst year as a pro, dropping off form a perennial 100+ tackler to around 60. However, he did put in one of the best defensive performances ever for a Cleveland player in the 8-0 victory against Buffalo in the snow. Unfortunately, not every game can be played in 12” of snow (Who owns that album?) prohibiting anyone from moving faster than a crawl. He made as many plays in that game as in the other 15 combined. With the improvement of our defensive line, I see D’Quell Jackson having a huge year. He led the team in tackle last year, but struggled when blockers were able to engage him. This year, behind big Shaun Rodgers, Corey Williams, and Robaire Smith, he will be free to be the tackling machine he was at Maryland. The same goes for future pro bowler Leon Williams. Leon, whose athletic ability is twice the size of his brain (I appreciate that Clark), is finally stating to get it and playing in position. I am looking for big things from Leon this year. Go get your 94 jerseys. Just don’t be corny and put your own name on it. Look for the Browns to address MLB in a guy like Beau Bell or Ben Moffitt, and possibly moving Leon (who had 4 sacks last year) opposite Kam.
In a 3-4, linebackers are the key, and you need a lot of talented ones. Back in the Eye of the Tiger Sam Rutigliano days of the 3-4 the lineup was Banks, Cousineau, E. Johnson/Dick Ambrose, and Clay Matthews. Heck, Bill Cowher and his chin couldn’t even crack the lineup. With the youth we have now, and with the addition of a good player either in the middle or outside in the draft, these guys could bring back the glory of the 80’s. Let’s hope they don’t bring back neon with it.

Player Rankings:
OLB
Keith Rivers USC 6’2’’ 240 4.63 1
Quentin Groves Auburn 6’3’’ 260 4.53 1-2
Xavier Adibi VT 6’2’’ 232 4.69 2
Cliff Avril Purdue 6’3’’ 253 4.51 2
Erin Henderson Maryland 6’3’’ 244 4.72 2-3
Marcus Howard Georgia 6’1’’ 237 4.45 2-3
Shawn Crable Michigan 6’5’’ 235 4.61 2-3
Bruce Davis UCLA 6’3’’ 252 4.7 3
Jordan Dizon Colorado 6’0’’ 229 4.71 3-4
Wesley Woodyard Kentucky 6’1’’ 227 4.51 3-4
Brian Kehl BYU 6’2’’ 242 4.67 4
Geno Hayes FSU 6’2’’ 222 4.65 4
Ezra Butler Nevada 6’2’’ 245 4.65 4s
Ali Highsmith LSU 6’0’’ 230 4.95 5
Gary Guyton Georgia Tech 6’2’’ 245 4.47 5
David Vobora Idaho 6’1’’ 236 4.71 5-6
Stanford Keglar Purdue 6’2’’ 240 4.58 6
Curtis Johnson Clark Atlantic 6’3’’ 240 4.6 6-7
Larry Grant OSU 6’1’’ 235 4.76 6-7
Vincent Redd Liberty 6’6’’ 263 4.58 7
Marcus Richardson Troy 6’0’’ 235 4.53 7
Craig Angelo Cincinatti 6’4’’ 250 5.0 7 FA

MLB
Dan Connor Penn State 6’3’’ 230 4.67 1
Jerod Mayo Tennessee 6’1’’ 242 4.54 1-2
Curtis Lofton Oklahoma 6’0’’ 242 4.79 2
Tavares Gooden Miami 6’1’’ 234 4.62 2-3
Jonathon Goff Vanderbilt 6’2’’ 245 4.63 3
Phillip Wheeler Georgia Tech 6’2’’ 248 4.76 3-4
Beau Bell UNLV 6’1 244 4.9 4
Jo-Lonn Dunbar BC 6’1 230 4.79 5
Vince Hall VT 5’11’’ 232 4.89 5-6
Ben Moffitt South Florida 6’1’’ 232 4.59 6
Spencer Larsen Arizona 6’2’’ 240 4.85 6
Rodrick Johnson Oklahoma 6’2’’ 254 4.87 7
Joey Laroque Oregon State 6’2’’ 226 4.87 7 FA

Players of interest to the Browns at OLB:

Bruce Davis UCLA 6’3’’ 252 4.7 3-4
Bruce Davis played defensive end at UCLA at 230 pounds and had 24.5 sacks over the last two seasons. He abused highly touted USC tackle Sam Baker, a player he gave up close to 100 lbs to. It’s crazy to think he could compete in the NFL at that size, so Davis has gotten his weight up to 250 on a diet similar to my own of bud heavies and anything wrapped in bacon. He now projects to be a pass rushing specialist OLB. The transition is always risky, but Davis is working with none other than Browns 2002 scapegoat Foge Fazio to work on his technique. The good news for Davis is that if he plays for the Browns, and learns 2 moves, that will be 1 more than he needs (ask Kam Wimbley). His first step is explosive, something that can’t be taught (especially by Willie McGinnest), and his strength is good as well. At the senior bowl, where Davis got his first taste of coverage as a linebacker, he looked about as comfortable as a young bachelor getting a lap dance next to his future father in law. However, with the proper coaching, this Quarterback terror can be a huge impact player, very much the same way Jason Taylor is. If he becomes more than just a one dimensional player, he can become an excellent choice in the middle rounds, and a future star. Bruce Davis was one of the final players to come to the Browns for a visit, and would be a great fit opposite Wimbley.

Ezra Butler Nevada 6’2’’ 245 4.65 4
Butler has unbelievable speed and athleticism for a player of his size, and he played the “bandit” position for Nevada which is an OLB/Tweener type. With those two facts alone, it should be clear that he would be on the Browns radar. He is incredibly fast 4.5-4.6 speed at 250 lbs, and he just explodes himself into ball carriers. He looks and plays like a smart and in control Chaun Thompson. In his career, he had 17 sacks and 51 tackles for loss. With those numbers, and his tremendous athleticism, Butler should be a late 1st to 2nd round pick. However, off field troubles have led to many teams simply taking Butler off there draft boards. He was suspended early in his senior season for an undisclosed reason. Rumor has it hat Ezra claimed Marijuana was part of his diet. Dumber words have never been spoken in a job interview outside of Mike Dukakis’ bid for the presidency. However, upon further review, Butler claims those comments were never made and he only tested positive once in his 4 years at Nevada. I mean, it’s not like there’s a lot to do in Reno. If Butler can convince Phil that he this was just a youthful indiscretion and marijuana is not something he puts on his cheerios, he could be a steal in the middle rounds.

Stanford Keglar Purdue 6’2’’ 240 4.58 6
Keglar is a smart, versatile linebacker that really turned heads at his workouts. On film, this guy just looks like a solid player, in both coverage and stringing out runs. However, after his workouts, he ran a very fast 4.58 forty yard dash, threw up 29 reps, and a 3.98 short shuttle. On top of this, Purdue coaches rave about this kid, especially his work ethic. With all of these raves, it is unsettling that he flew under the radar the way he did. Makes you think he could be another Mike Mumula or David Boston. Maybe the Browns are interested in Keglar to come in and keep Shaun Rodgers away from the Twinkies and in the weight room. That has to be worth a 6th rounder. Although, with Romeo around, I can’t imagine there are too many leftover Twinkies floating around the clubhouse.

Vincent Redd Liberty 6’6’’ 263 4.58 6-7
Vincent Redd was originally a Virginia Cavalier, but followed his coach to Liberty after getting buried in the depth chart in Charlottesville and into the Al Groh doghouse (after falling in love with the leafy green substance). He has unbelievable size at 6’6’’ 240, but he is unbelievably raw. He really only played one full season, and that was for the Liberty Flames (formerly coached by the great Sam Rutigiano), 2007 Big South Conference champions, a feat due largely in part to the standout defensive play of Vincent Redd. It is clear that Liberty University has a Chapel (their motto is challenge your mind, build your faith, and it was the office of the late Jerry Falwell). It is not clear whether or not they have a weight room. Redd only benched 225 13 times. Not too impressive for a man of his size, and it prevents him from being a Defensive End in the NFL. His real value lies in his quickness from a stand up rushing position and his movement laterally, which is very good for a player of his size. If he can learn some coverage skills, and given some time to mature, he could be a good find and good situational pass rusher for a 3-4 defense like the Browns.

Curtis Gatewood Vanderbilt 6’2’’ 248 4.72 7
Gatewood had an unbelievable career at Vandy. In his last two seasons, he recorded 11 sacks, 15 stops behind the line of scrimmage, 4 forced fumbles, 3 recovered fumbles, and 16 notches on his bedpost at the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority. Not bad work for a guy who is considered “undersized.” Luckily, it appears Gatewood is tougher than fellow Commodore Brandt Snedeker (see Masters post round interviews) , and will be able to make the transition from DE to OLB, and from college to the Pro ranks. The Browns need to keep taking chances on guys like these, and hopefully they will strike gold with one of them.

Players of interest to the Browns at MLB:

Beau Bell UNLV 6’1 244 4.9 4
Beau Bell is a player that is all over the map in terms of where teams value him. I have seen him listed anywhere from round 1 to off of teams draft boards. This is mostly due to poor workouts. On film, Bell looks like an animal. He plays fast, hits hard, and has the rage of a “mad dog at a meat market.” I feel like I’ve heard that before. The trouble is, at the Senior Bowl he looked very slow and stiff, and then his pro day was a disaster running in the 4.9 range. He did throw up 225 25 times, but NFL teams tend to frown on LB’s who are slower than offensive linemen…except the Browns (see Andra Davis). Bell’s effort in the weight room and working out is similar to mine…poor at best, and his classroom success has been described as “adequate”. Adequate academic success at UNLV translates t o brain-dead at most universities. Even with those issues, Bell remains an intriguing prospect for the Browns because of his nastiness against the run, and his hard hitting nature…something that is sorely missed in the middle of the Browns defense. He has been evaluated heavily by the Browns, and could be our pick at 122, and could end up being a great find with the proper motivation. In case Phil Dawson or Zastudil go down, Bell was the place kicker and punter in high school as well. I’m guessing he was stuffed in fewer lockers than those guys though.

Vince Hall VT 5’11’’ 232 4.89 5-6
Teams don’t love inside linebackers under 6 feet, although don’t tell that to London Fletcher. However, when you look at the career of Hall at VT, he was the rock in a defense that was the best in the country. This guy was more productive than a cleaning lady on speed. He posted over 400 career tackles, something only 9 other Hokies have ever done including former Browns stud Mike Johnson and Browns dud Ben Taylor. Even though he lacks the ideal size, he is very aggressive filling holes, even getting into the backfield to blow up plays at times. He had 4 sacks his senior year, and 7 tackles for losses…and that’s with missing 5 games with a wrist injury. This injury led Hall to miss some post season all star games and workouts, so teams are pretty much going to be watching the tape on him. In his case, that’s a great thing, because if you watch Virginia Tech on tape, this guy is the shining star on a very good defense. Couple this with his penchant for buggery…..I mean the weight room, and he becomes a possibility to fill the hole the Browns have at MLB. The question with Hall is whether or not his best football has been played already.

Ben Moffitt South Florida 6’1’’ 232 4.59 6
Moffit’s numbers as a senior led him to be a Dick Butkus award semifinalist. He recorded over 100 tackles, 12 stops for losses, 2 fumble recoveries, and 4 interceptions. Not bad for a guy who is described as an “average” athlete. Moffitt is a very high character guy…he almost quit football to join the ministry, and he drove over 100 miles round trip everyday to practice so he could be close to his wife and children. He won’t win any footraces in the open field, and doesn’t have overpowering strength. However, he does not allow himself to get taken out of the play and literally wills himself to make plays in the trenches. Moffit will unlikely be an upgrade to anyone the Browns have starting in the middle, but he could be a solid backup who can be a tough guy on the interior on 1st and 2nd down.

Spencer Larsen Arizona 6’2’’ 240 4.85 6
Spencer Larsen can’t run overly fast, he can’t catch all that well, he can’t throw, and he can’t drink (he’s Mormon). What he can do is tackle. Larsen is old for an NFL prospect (24) because he took his two year mission as a Mormon. He is mature in life, and as a football player, married (to only one wife) with children…although which of these prospects doesn’t have a few youngsters floating around or at least a few paternity suits out there. He is your classic, tough overachiever who is just a beast in short areas. NFL teams won’t ask him to cover, as that’s like asking Robert Downey Junior to stay off cocaine. As much as you want them to do it…it’s just not going to happen. Moffitt’s 40 times were high…in the 4.85 range, but his short area cone drill was quick…4.29, comparable to many db’s, which means he can move really well in quick bursts. Just don’t ask him to cover a TE or slot receiver farther than 5 yards…or go to a nudie bar with you. In either case…the result will probably be more or less disappointing. Ask him to line up in the middle on 1st and 2nd down and you will be very pleased with his run stuffing ability.

Jo-Lonn Dunbar BC 6’1 230 4.79 5
What Jo-Lonn lacks in size, he more than makes up for in athleticism and instincts. As a junior, his teammates recognized his effort and talent and made him the captain of a very good Eagle defense. His ability to diagnose plays and react quickly allowed him to make plays in the trenches and outside. In the East-West shrine game, Dunbar opened eyes as the best defender during the all star week. In the first seven games, with Dunbar in the middle, BC didn’t allow a team to rush for more than 70 yards in a game. An ankle sprain put him on the bench late in the season and the defense allowed close to 400 yards per game without him. On and off the field, Dunbar is an emotional leader, and a guy that is often compared to Ray Lewis and Jonathon Vilma (mostly by his parents). He is a player that can make the big impact play in a game whether it’s a bone crushing hit, a stop for a loss, or an interception. An inside guy as athletic as this, that can play all three downs and be a stud on special teams would be great value for a team in the 5th round. It should be noted that the Browns have had Dunbar in for a visit, and all reports are that he had a great time Christies.

Cornerback…The Browns Situation:

The Browns helped themselves more at cornerback in last year’s draft than at any other position. Eric Wright fell to the Browns in the second round because of “character concerns.” He was outstanding when healthy in his rookie season, proving himself an excellent cover corner and a sure tackler. Brandon McDonald stepped up when injuries forced the Memphis rookie into significant playing time. McDonald had strong performances against Andre Johnson and Chad Johnson during the second half of the 2007, and the off-season departure of Leigh the Flea Bodden puts B-Mac in front for the starting spot opposite Eric Wright. Starting two young corners would seem to have opened up a possibility for All Night Kenny Wright. However, Wright’s status with the team has been thrown into question by his arrest earlier this month for marijuana possession in Pearland, Texas. (Disclaimer: Wright is innocent until proven guilty. I mean, I ask you, does this look like a man who has been using...marijuana?).

The most disappointing thing is not that All Night was arrested, or that he was possessing marijuana in the parking lot of a police station or that he ran from the police. No. The most disappointing thing is that he was actually caught on foot by a police officer in Pearland, Texas (who I’m guessing does not run a 4.3). Does anybody know if the cop is available for the upcoming season? I don’t like to talk about Daven Holly because it makes me angry. Nick Sorensen was re-signed to continue in his role as special teams gunner and to take over from Simon Fraser the title of best hair on the team.

Top 5 Prospects
1. LeOdis “He Loves Us” McKelvin, Troy (5’11, 190, 4.38)
2. Mike Jenkins, South Florida (6’0, 200, 4.38)
3. Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Tennessee State (6’1 1/2, 183, 4.29)
4. Antoine Cason, Arizona (6’0, 191, 4.45)
5. Aqib Talib, Kansas (6’2, 195, 4.44)

Players of interest to the Browns at CB:

1. Tracy Porter, Indiana (5’11, 188, 4.37): When you grow up as a boy named Tracy, you better learn to be very tough and/or a sick athlete. Tracy is the latter. A fantastic athlete, Porter was an outstanding prep basketball player and only played two years of football in high school. His technique is still a work in progress, but he has shown excellent ballhawking ability, finishing with the second most career interceptions in Big 10 history. Tracy showed more courage against the run in his senior season, but as a tackler, he is no Daylon McCutcheon. Porter will immediately help a team on special teams and as a nickel cornerback, with the upside to develop into an elite cornerback.

2. Tyvon Branch, Connecticut (6’0, 204, 4.31): When you run a 4.31 in the 40 yard dash, people are going to notice you, even if you play your college football in Storrs, CT. Branch had an excellent performance at the Combine, and is regarded as one of the top return men in the draft. I know, you are going to tell me that Antonio Perkins was also regarded as one of the top return men in college football when he was drafted, and he stinks worse than Sex Panther cologne (“Pungent...Stings the nostrils”). And to that I will tell you...well...um...ok...you are right.

3. Trae Williams, South Florida (5’9, 193, 4.51): Trae never really like football growing up, choosing to focus on academics at the urging of his father Furious Williams. But after his best friend and star football player Ricky was gunned down in cold blood, losing his chance at a scholarship, Trae vowed to pick up where his friend left off. Overshadowed a bit by his teammate Mike Jenkins, Williams made a name for himself by returning three interceptions for a touchdown during his senior season. Williams is the opposite of a workout warrior. He doesn’t seem to have the measurables that teams crave, but he performs when the lights go on.

RICKY!!!!

4. Jack Williams, Kent State (5’9, 186, 4.32): Some teams might miss on this guy, but it is important to note that all 4 AFC North teams were present at the Kent State Pro Day this year, and Williams was one of only two players working out. They were not disappointed, as Williams posted an eye-popping 4.31 40 yard dash. Not blessed with great size, Williams is strong (19 reps of 225 at the Combine), can jump (35.5 inch vertical) and is extremely quick changing directions (posting one of the best times in the Cone drill at the Combine). Williams is ideally suited as a slot-cover corner and could go in Round 4 or Round 5. Also majoring in Leisure Studies...God bless Kent State.

5. Zachary Bowman, Nebraska (6’1, 197, 4.39): Bowman is not the next highest rated cornerback in the draft. However, he’s someone to keep an eye on in Round 6 or Round 7. Bowman is considered an injury risk, as he suffered two major knee injuries in college (torn ACL, ruptured patella tendon). However, before he did so, Bowman was seen as a potentially elite prospect, and Michigan fans may remember Bowman’s strong performance in the 2005 Alamo Bowl. Bowman is a physical tackler with good size and long arms. Quite a bit of risk, but if Bowman can stay healthy, he could represent great value later on Day 2.

Outlook: When you are counting on a couple of second year players, a guy who can’t outrun the cops and Daven Holly, saying that cornerback is an “area of concern” for the Browns is like saying weed is an “area of concern” for Ricky Williams. Look for the Browns to strike early and often on Day 2 for a cornerback. Cornerback could also be a position the Browns are willing to move up to get, if the right guy should fall their way.

Safety…The Browns Situation:

Since the likes of Tom Darden, Felix Wright, and Eric Turner, the Browns have been searching for stud safety who can act as the quarterback and last line of defense (and yes, I left off Marquis Smith and Earl Little on purpose). Finally however, with a youth movement in the defensive backfield, that search may be over. Over the past two seasons, strong safety Sean Jones has become the Browns most consistent defensive player on the field. Prior to last season, Sports Illustrated’s Dr. Z named Jones the best safety in the NFL. Now I have made some outrageous claims about Browns players in the past, including claiming that Lee Suggs would make multiple pro bowls and Richard Alston would become our number one receiver if he could just make it off of the practice squad, but Dr. Z’s claim that Jones is the best safety in the NFL is a pretty lofty. Jones is in fact a very good football player and is a playmaker and solid tackler. Before he gets his bust in Canton however, he needs to improve his TE coverage and work on reading offensives better so he can get everyone on the same page. Next to Jones is another youngster, Brodney Pool who has become a good roaming presence in the defensive backfield. He improved his tackling this year and provided us with a thrill when he intercepted Kyle Boller (something I could do), and took it back 100 yards for a TD (not something I could do. I probably would have taken a knee.) With these two getting better with age, and with some talented young corners also progressing, the Browns could have a backfield as good as the one with Hanfor Dixon, Frank Minnefield, Chris Rockins, and Ray Ellis of 1987.

Player Rankings:
Strong Safety
Tyrell Johnson Arkansas State 6’0’’ 207 4.39 3
Josh Barrett ASU 6’2’’ 223 4.35 3
Tom Zbikowski Notre Dame 5’11’’ 211 4.45 3
Craig Steltz LSU 6’2’’ 213 4.59 3-4
Jamar Adams Michigan 6’2’’ 212 4.59 3-4
Jamie Silva BC 5’11’’ 204 4.78 5
Caleb Campbell Army 6’2’’ 230 4.57 5
DJ Wolfe Oklahoma 5’11’’ 211 4.61 5-6
Chris Horton UCLA 6’0’’ 212 4.54 6

Free Safety
Kenny Phillips Miami 6’2’’ 212 4.48 1
Dajuan Morgan NC State 6’0’’ 205 4.5 3
Quintin Demps UTEP 6’0’’ 206 4.39 3
Simeon Castille Alabama 6’1’’ 195 4.63 4
Thomas Decoud California 6’2 207 4.5 4-5
Marcus Griffin Texas 5’10’’ 210 4.69 5
Jonathon Hefney Tennessee 5’8’’ 190 4.52 5-6
DJ Parker VT 5’11’’ 192 4.59 5-6
David Roach TCU 6’1’’ 202 4.53 5-6
Corey Lynch Appalachian State 6’1’’ 202 4.58 6
Dominique Barber Minnesota 6’0’’ 210 4.68 6
Husain Abdulla Washington State 6’0’’ 204 4.63 6-7
Bobbie Williams Bethune-Cookman 6’0’’ 214 4.55 7
Ryan Mundy West Virginia 6’1’’ 215 4.55 7

Players of Interest for the Browns at Safety:

Simeon Castille Alabama 6’1’’ 195 4.63 4
There are certain names in this world that bring the hairs on the back of my neck to attention. Timothy McVeigh, Osama Bin Ladin, David Koresh, Bozo the clown (I suffer from Coulrophobia(fear of clowns)), and Jeremiah Castille, father or Simeon. For those of you who don’t remember who this is…let me remind you. As Earnest Byner was prancing toward the end zone in 1987 to tie the game against the Denver Broncos, the outstretched arm of one unblocked (thank you very much Webster Slaughter) Jeremiah Castille reached out and stripped the ball out of Earnest’s arms, stripped the heart out of this 9 year old and the collective hearts of the entire city of Cleveland. And now, the devilish spawn of that man has entered the NFL draft. And let me say, that even if this kid is a future hall of famer, I would rather forfeit one of our only draft picks this year than have that name on a Browns jersey. I hope he gets drafted by San Diego and an earthquake sends him crumbling into the Pacific. But I’m not bitter.

Tyrell Johnson Arkansas State 6’0” 207 4.39 3
Johnson is sliding up boards like a high stakes game of chutes and ladders. He has some pretty impressive pedigree. His mom was a track star at University of Arkansas, and his dad played in the NBA for the Spurs and Raptors. Johnson had some impressive numbers at Arkansas State including a 26 tackle performance against North Texas. In his senior year, Johnson, according to many scouts was the best player on the field against the likes of Texas and Tennessee. He had a 14 tackle, 1 interception performance against Texas. He totaled 6 interceptions as a safety his senior year and 13 for his career, and is the all time Sun Belt leader in tackles with 363. At the combine, Johnson came in and embarrassed his big school competitors. He benched 225 27 times, ran in the 4.3’s, and jumped 39 inches. If people hadn’t heard of him before that, they did now. For a guy with those numbers, and a guy that shattered pretty much every Sun Belt record there is for a defensive back, it is amazing that this guy may be on the board in round 3. If the Browns had anything to trade (I think we have a few kicking tees and ball bags left), it would be well worth it to move up to get this guy early in day two. He is going to be a star. And not the kind of star I claimed Chaun Thompson was going to be, but a bona fide NFL stud.

Corey Lynch Appalachian State 6’1’’ 202 4.58 6
Probably the most successful man named Corey since Haim and Feldmen graced the Silver screen with License to Drive, The Lost Boys, and Dream a Little Dream. Lynch proved he belonged on draft boards with an outstanding performance at the Texas vs. the Nation all star game. He showed excellent versatility, being solid in the passing game, against the run and on special teams. His combine and pro day numbers only added to the intrigue where he posted a 4.58 40, a sub 4 short shuttle and 35 inch vertical. Lynch was named Southern Conference Defensive player of the year by the coaches and players of the league. He had 111 tackles, 6 interceptions, and 11 passes defended. Lynch practically rewrote the record books in many defensive categories for Appy State, including blocked kicks (his handiwork was evident against Meeeechigan).

David Roach TCU 6’1’’ 202 4.53 5-6
The Browns have missed in the past with guys who are safeties, but play more like linebackers. Guys like Justin Hamilton, and Marquis Smith never really found there niche outside of special teams. However, neither of those two guys could run like David Roach. He was a beast at the East West shrine game, especially against the run. When he plays up in the box, he shuts down the running game. He then went on to run a 4.5 forty and jump 38 inches showing he has the speed to keep up with anyone in coverage. This recovery speed is critical for a guy who plays so aggressively to the line of scrimmage. One issue Roach must answer is a history of durability issues that left him on the sidelines for many games. Even though the Browns have a solid safety tandem, and let’s be honest, a pretty sweet offense too, Phil Savage did hint that safety was a position that was high on his draft wish list, and a guy like Roach could be a good addition to our defensive backfield.

Husain Abdulla Washington State 6’0’’ 204 4.63 6-7
As much as I think the liberal and open minded people of Cleveland will overlook the obvious cultural differences that a guy with the first name Husain may have, I am not sure the typical local 181 iron worker from Euclid is going to go out and buy an Abdullah jersey any time soon. On top of that, the last guy named Abdullah the Browns drafted (Rahim, round 2) was arguably the worst player to ever where orange and Brown (other than Terry Kirby). Getting past his name however, Abdullah is an underrated prospect who plays a great centerfield and is a playmaker, evident by the fact that he led the Cougars in interceptions and tackles as a senior. With Abdulla, you will get a versatile backup and a solid special teamer. Abdulla is also an avid golfer, although I don’t think many country clubs are accepting too many members named Husain these days.

Hello Cleveland

Savage on the Brown's 4th Round Pick:

2008-04-23T15:04:00.002-04:00

"This will be the most celebrated 4th round pick maybe in the history of the Browns. I mean this guy's gonna get a parade, and be introduced at the Cavs game, and everything else. I mean, you know, we gotta make sure this guys can play!"

2008-04-18T10:50:00.001-04:00

Tony Grossi previews the upcoming NFL Draft

South Park on Pats

2008-04-10T10:17:00.000-04:00

CBS Sports Video on Browns Off-Season Moves

2008-04-10T10:11:00.001-04:00

http://cbs.sportsline.com/video/player/play/nfl/QJAScUGZzIZEp8UDrA9naNBRmmWvWiQn

All Night Kenny Wright

2008-04-04T10:25:00.002-04:00

Browns CB Kenny Wright arrested for Marijuana.

With two second year guys slated to be the starting cornerbacks this year, you would think this guy would have been working hard to crack the lineup.

I don't know whats worse..the fact that he was causing a scene in a police station parking lot with drugs on him...or the fact that he couldn't outrun the police on foot. Maybe we should bring in the cop that caught him for a workout?

http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.ssf/2008/04/browns_kenny_wright_chased_jai.html

Shaun Rogers Chariots of Fire

2008-04-02T12:00:00.006-04:00

Cue the music

All together now...O-H-I-O

2008-04-01T20:19:00.003-04:00

Sometimes the state I love just downright scares me.

A man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape performing a sexual act in public.
But to make the story even more interesting, he was having sex with a PICNIC TABLE!!!
What's so special about a picnic table????
Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions having sex with his picnic table between the hours of 10:30am and Noon.
The tape came from his neighbor, who claims Price would go onto his deck, grab a round, metal table and tilt it on its side. He would then use the hole where the umbrella stands to have sex.
Unfortunately for Price, the act is considered a felony since it took place in close proximity to a school, making it likely that kids could have seen Price in his act.
Police Captain Matt Johnson said "The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table."
Price is married and has three school-aged children. He was released on a $20,000 bond.
As for the release, a neighbor, Brice Jacobs, said "He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again, and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance."
Wouldn't a vacuum cleaner be more fun? And private?????

Congrats Leroy Hoard

2008-03-31T12:18:00.002-04:00

Leroy Hoard is a new father. I don't know why anyone outside his immediate family would care.. but it made me happy, so I am sharing it with you. Nice sweatshirt Leroy.

He had this to say to to all those fans sending him well wishes.

" I wanted to send you guys a picture that had more Rebecca and less of me. I started telling her that you guys were Buckeye fans and she started puking. Thanks for all of the Congrats and as always, Go Blue."

Green Runs Slow 40 at BC Pro Day

2008-03-19T12:17:00.003-04:00

Some sad news for William Green's comback hopes...though apparently in great shape and sporting a great vertical, Green's 40 time was too slow...

"NFL Network's Mike Mayock reports free agent William Green showed up to the Boston College Pro Day in "great shape," but ran a 4.85 forty.
He benched 225 25 times and jumped 42" vertically, but running backs with 4.8+ forty times don't get signed. This could officially end Green's career." - rotoworld

Willie Green Finds God

2008-03-18T07:36:00.002-04:00

Turns out he was waiting in the endzone the entire time.

Sitting now will pay off later for Quinn

2008-03-12T10:27:00.001-04:00

Espn.com article

Savage has Browns headed in right direction

2008-03-07T17:52:00.002-05:00

An article by Floyd Reese on espn.com

I Know This is Total Bull$hit, But it's Still Fun to Read!

2008-03-07T17:36:00.002-05:00

An excerpt from Pat Yasinskas' article on espn.com:

"With free agency only a week old, the Browns already are emerging as one of those trendy Super Bowl picks that, powered by a promising previous season and some offseason moves, seem to pop up every year. Talk of the Super Bowl is not what Crennel and Savage want to hear in March (think Carolina in 2006 and San Francisco in 2007)."

Browns Make Waves In Free Agency

2008-03-04T14:05:00.003-05:00

The Browns are getting great grades from the national media for their start to Free Agency.

And Steve King has a great summary of the national media's comments here.

Early Strike

2008-02-29T15:18:00.003-05:00

The Browns sent us on an emotional roller-coaster this morning. The trade for Corey Williams is an excellent move. He's big and stout against the run, and has surprising quickness. You may not like the 3-4 system, but it is here to stay with the Browns, and Corey Williams is a good fit.

The news that Derek Anderson had hit the free agent market made most Browns fans happy. It is no secret that most Cleveland fans clamor for Brady Quinn (maybe not the fans in Westlake). Anderson was on the market for a grand total of about nine hours before he re-signed with the Browns. Something smells weird on this one. Either Anderson took a quick look and realized no one was going to give him the big money he was looking for or Phil "The Macho Man" Savage has something else up his sleeve.

Just speculation, but Miami has no QB at the moment. Maybe they would like a proven QB who all of a sudden has a very manageable contract. Maybe they would prefer to do that than spend the $30 million guaranteed it will take to sign the #1 pick. Watch free agency closely. If the Dolphins don't pick up a QB, things could get interesting...stay tuned.

Meanwhile, a national writer actually just wrote this:

"In my book, the Anderson and Lewis re-signings as well as the trade to acquire Green Bay defensive tackle Corey Williams makes -- gasp! --- Cleveland the team to beat in the AFC North."

I THINK I JUST WET MYSELF...

Orpheus

2008-02-27T16:55:00.002-05:00

Orpheus Roye was released by the Browns today. I'd make some joke about "Orpheus" related to The Matrix, but I'm not into science fiction...NERD. Roye has been with the Browns since 2000, and he has been one (maybe the only) reliable presence on the front line for much of that time. Perhaps most importantly, he always seemed to have a little extra tiger in the tank when the Browns played the Steelers, something that was greatly appreciated by the fans. In the end, injuries caught up to the grizzled veteran.

This release amplifies the already pronounced need to add bodies along the defensive line. Look for the Browns to take a run at the prototypical high motor white guy Justin Smith early in free agency.

Me Fail English? That's Un-Possible!

2008-02-27T14:38:00.004-05:00

Loyal readers (both of you) may remember Roderick Green from the 2004 Draft Report. Green was notable in that he achieved (achieved?!?) the lowest score in the history of the Wonderlic. Green scored a whopping 3 out of 50 questions correct. The Roderick Green Memorial Award for lowest Wonderlic score has been passed out in each subsequent draft report.

Well, Mr. Green signed a new contract with the 49ers today. Congratulations, Professor!

Seperated At Birth

2008-02-21T16:38:00.004-05:00

Jose Calderon of the Toronto Raptors and Pete Sampras. Seperated at Birth?

Browns Re-Sign Jamal Lewis

2008-02-21T16:09:00.003-05:00

Remember when we were questioning if we could get used to Jamal Lewis in orange and brown? Could you now imagine him in any other uniform (save your jokes about a prison uniform...he's on our team now)? Jamal will be a part of the future of the Cleveland Browns as they have apparently come to terms on a 2 year deal (with an option for a third...unclear whether it is a team or player option).

I think this is a great move for both sides. Jamal recognized a good situation when he saw it. He has a chance to run behind a great offensive line with enough other weapons around him to keep defenses honest. The Browns got a tough, dependable runner who is great with the young running backs. There is nothing not to like about this one!

Counterpoint: HE WANTS HIS 2 DOLLARS!

2008-02-14T13:25:00.003-05:00

The fallout from Kellen Winslow's mention of wanting a new contract last week at the Pro Bowl has been as predictable as a Saved By the Bell plotline (Zack hatches a hare-brained idea, mischief ensues, the gang learns a valuable lesson, all is resolved). Fans and media alike (and even my fellow members of Metcalf Up the Middle) have been all over K2. "How dare he?" they scream, the righteous indignation dripping off their wagging tongues. "We stuck by him after his motorcycle accident. He owes the Browns."

I'm here to tell you that he doesn't owe the Browns anything. Sure, they honored his contract and worked with him so he got paid $11.6 million during the time he was out, but what was the alternative? Cutting him, maybe going after his money, and losing the most talented tight end in the NFL. If they had done that, you know who the current Browns tight end would be? Well, neither do I, but it certainly wouldn't be Winslow (perhaps Chad Mustard if he couldn't cut it with the Omaha Beef). The Browns didn't do it out of charity. They recognized the kind of game-changing player Winslow could be and didn't want him to end up somewhere else.

Is there anyone you would rather have on our team as TE? Me neither. I mean, honestly, if we needed a sack on defense on one play, I would probably put kam wimbley out there, but aside from him, my second choice would be Winslow. He has the kind of intensity and competitive nature that can help make his teammates better and his team great.

I'm not going to tell you that they should definitely re-do his contract right now, but the outrage over his comments is ridiculous. He is a little underpaid for what he brings to the table. If it were me, I'd at least explore the opportunity to give him some bonus money now and tie him up with a backloaded contract. His agent will be happy because he can brag about a big deal, but NFL deals aren't guaranteed so he may never see years 5 and 6 of the deal. I'd do the same with Braylon (though that is another column). With our line and those two weapons, our offense will be formidable for many years to come, no matter who is goosing Hank Fraley and taking the snaps.

The Browns are flush with cap space. I know, the average fan will tell me that they really need to fix the defense with that money, which is true. But it is not as if we need a complete personnel overhaul of the defense this offseason. (though the potential loss of Simon Fraser is heartbreaking...see "shart" column by the Bird, below). There are some pieces in place. We just need to add a couple key parts, which will lift the performance of some current pieces.

While we all would have preferred Winslow went to the Browns privately to express his desires, rather than popping off on the radio, don't just dismiss this as the ridiculous rants of "The Solider." Think a little more on it and I think you'll agree, it sure beats the hell out of returing to the Irv Smith era!

Booty Gets Shocked!

2008-02-14T10:30:00.005-05:00

Former Browns back-up QB gets tasered by cops and then arrested.

Quinn Denies Allegations

2008-02-14T10:08:00.004-05:00

Cleveland Browns Quarterback, Brady Quinn, denied being involved in any altercation on New Year's Eve this year. He released a statement through the Browns which said:

"At no time that night was I involved in a verbal or physical altercation, nor did I have any interaction with the police. I want to be clear that I did not engage in any of the alleged conduct, nor did I make inappropriate comments to anyone. Any allegations to the contrary are either untrue or the result of misidentification."

The Browns followed up with their own statement:

"We are aware of the alleged comments made by Brady Quinn, which the Browns take seriously. After speaking with Brady and his representatives we find these reported accusations without merit."

Quinn claims to have been out to dinner with his girlfriend and a few other couples, and that nothing happened.

Now It Seems Everyone Wants A Piece Of The Pie

2008-02-13T12:20:00.005-05:00

First it's DA wanting a ridiculous deal for one year of work, now it's Winslow wanting to redo his deal because he's an "elite" tight end. Check out Tony Grossi's article about Winslow's production in December. I can't believe that this guy has the nerve to ask for a new deal when the Browns stood by him after his motorcycle accident. He collected $11.6 million during the two years he was injured. Pretty amazing. I've never missed a day of work...I think I definitely need a new deal. The only one who I hope gets his money is Jamal Lewis. The way I see it, he's got two more years of good football, and then he can transition into a part time roll while fostering a new younger back.

Simon Frasier To Test FA Market

2008-02-13T12:07:00.004-05:00

This morning as I was eating my Apple Jacks I read that Browns Defensive End Simon Fraser was dissapointed in his playing time in Cleveland and would like to test the free agent market. Not only did I spit milk out of my nose, I also sharted and had to take a second shower. Good luck with that, you'll probably generate about as much interest as a Zima at a South Boston bar.

Were talking about a guy who (aside from being the lead guy on the wedge) is consistantly the worst player on the field when he gets in. Now I know some of you love him because he's an Upper Arlington boy, and an Ohio State Alum, and he has overachieved. But, I could give a rat's ass. I would rather sit in a computer chair at work all day in my stained underwear (from the aforementioned shart) than have to watch another defensive series with that guy. On running plays, he is so far form the action, he might as well be up in the coordiator booth. It is like he wants to play safety he is so far back from the line of scrimmage after the play. Maybe he is in the wrong system some people say. I don't care what system it is, any self respecting football player, let alone a defensive linemen shouldn't be so easy to blow off the line.

In a news article this morning, in some paper, that I can only assume it is the Upper Arlington high school newspaper, or possibly some Buckeye news outlet, said this about Simon Fraser's play, "For three seasons, Simon Fraser has been a reliable spare part, if not a spectacular one, on the Browns defensive line."

The use of the word spectacular is what led to me soiling myself. Are you kidding? The only thing spectacular about Simon Fraser is that he is still in the league. And maybe his hair.

Anyways, I wish him the best of luck. Who knows, maybe Denver will want you. In the words of Paul "Fitzy" Fitzpatrick...GFY.

Quinn Involved in Verbal Dispute

2008-02-13T12:05:00.004-05:00

The Plain Dealer is reporting that Brady Quinn was involved in a verbal dispute on New Year's Day. Apparently Quinn and his entourage of 10 - 12 guys and girls were spewing anti gay slurs at people leaving a well known gay bar near where Quinn and his friends were eating. Let's hope that Quinn was just one of the crowd on this one. It sure would be dissapointing if Quinn, our possible future star QB, is enough of a toolbox that he's got to put down others who don't live exactly the same way he does...or do they? It's always seemed to me the the most homophobic men, are the ones with deep questions about their own sexuality. Let's hope this doesn't turn into a pattern for Quinn. I could care less what his sexual orientation is, as long as he wins games. But, just for good measure, maybe he should keep his mouth shut. Either handle your booze like a man, or stay home and nurse your Boones Farm.

Cribbs Looking to Be the Best at Pro Bowl

2008-02-09T18:01:00.001-05:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3237727

Another Hilarious Vid...

2008-02-07T10:20:00.000-05:00

Hilarious Video.

2008-02-07T10:18:00.000-05:00

Since the Browns season is over...I've been wandering the net a bit, and found a couple of gems...

A lot of interesting news...

2008-01-31T16:41:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the absence, but life's a bit crazy at the moment. (I know all 6 of you have been holding your breath, and yes that includes you Mom.) Top Dawg is swamped at work, I've been traveling a lot, and Bird has been skiing, alot. After this weekend look for more consistant posts. Also you can look forward to the Browns Draft Report, which was the first post on this site almost a year ago. I know that Bird and Top Dawg are beginning their preliminary work on it as I write!

Glad to hear about Romeo, and it sounds like Tucker will be a pretty good D Coordinator. Interesting scuttlebut about how Grantham over played his hand as the heir apparent to a crumbling Crennel, and then got sent packing. I hope we sign J Lew to a 3 year deal, use his last two good years, and then eitehr cut him or pepper him in here and there much like the Steelers used Bettis late in his carreer. Looks like the Anderson signing has hit a bit of a snag. I'd like to see both Brady and Anderson on the roster next year, but have serious doubts as to how that could work. Oh well. Gotta love the off-season! Apparently there's a game being played this weekend...

Another interesting thought Bird sent me a bit ago which he found on ESPN Page 2:

"Here's what you should do this week if someone tries to argue that after SB XLII the Patriots will be the greatest pro football dynasty of all time: Hold up your hand, make a look like someone just tipped over garbage, and then bark these two words: Cleveland Browns.From 1946 to 1955 the Browns played in 10 STRAIGHT league championship games, winning seven (four in the All-America Football Conference and three NFL titles in 1950, 1954 and 1955.) During this decade of dominance Cleveland was guided by visionary Hall of Fame coach Paul Brown, who invented, among other things, the playbook and the West Coast Offense, and led on the field by legendary HOF quarterback Otto Graham (who went 114-20-4 during this amazing 10-year run.) So, yeah, congrats to the Patriots Dynasty. Now you only need to reach nine more Super Bowls. In a row."

Grantham Gets the Boot!

2008-01-11T18:03:00.000-05:00

Article.

Interesting development, more to come...

It's Official, Chudzinski is signed through 2011

2008-01-07T18:55:00.000-05:00

Although, that really means we can guarantee him being here only another year, that's still better than having him go to Baltimore. Looks like his incentive package was pretty good too.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3185021

Chud Gets Extension

2008-01-07T10:02:00.000-05:00

It's looking like we might have Rob Chudzinski and Romeo Crennel around for a few more years. Both are reportedly in talks to extend their contracts. I like it. Now let's get Lewis extended!

Chudzinski to Get Extension, Out of Raven's Head Coach Consideration

Romeo Gets Game Ball

2008-01-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

Pretty cool speach at the end of this clip which shows how much this team loves Crennel.

Final Victory Speach

Chud to Interview for Ravens Gig...

2008-01-04T09:58:00.000-05:00

Check out the article.

I'm not sure why he'd want to coach there, but I have a feeling the fact that Savage is even letting Chud interview is out of common courtesy for his good buddy Ozzie. Let's hope there's a little "wink wink" between Savage and Ozzie meaning: "No way he gets this gig, but it will be good for him to have an interview, as he obviously wants to be a head coach." I have a hard time believing they're going to stake their future on Chud (as much as I love him) after only one year as a coordinator in the league. If this were next year and the Browns again had a top 10 offense with two 1000 yard receivers, and a 1000 yard back, I'd be worried. Let's hope that happens...

JIM SORGI SHOULD BE ARRESTED...

2007-12-30T23:19:00.000-05:00

For stealing his salary. That was an embarassing performance for an NFL quarterback. I would have rather had Spergon Wynn in the game (not Doug Pederson though). And the Colts in general should be embarassed for laying down. I had nothing against them only playing starters a limited amount of time...that was their right. But totally laying down in the second half, especially offensively, is inexcusable. And not using their last time out is incontrovertible proof that they were not trying to win the game. Yes, I'm bitter...

Michael Stanley Reborn?

2007-12-26T11:50:00.000-05:00

Wow. Someone really took a lot of time with this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMBxLxqvEgo

Christmas Time is Here

2007-12-22T12:09:00.000-05:00

Last minute gift ideas for your favorite Browns fans

My personal favorite: Only Bitches wave little yellow towels

http://www.steelerhaters.com/new_page_1.htm

Go Browns. Biggest Game of my life tomorrow.

"That's just not Right"

2007-12-21T14:18:00.000-05:00

I love this story

"My favorite jersey is the Kellen Winslow jersey that I walked into my wedding reception wearing. Regrettably, I married a Ravens fan, but we made a grand entrance in our jerseys as the Monday Night Football theme played. We went to the Browns-Ravens game the next day wearing our jerseys and a little boy turned to his father when he saw us holding hands and said, "That's just not right." Our union has meant good luck for the Browns, though, as we've beaten the Ravens twice this year! I wore the jersey again to the Ravens game in Baltimore, and I think it may have helped with the immaculate deflection!"

"Grandma got run over by a Reindeer"

2007-12-17T10:39:00.000-05:00

Grandma = Buffalo

Reindeer = Jamal Lewis

Join In, Wherever You Are Cleveland!

2007-12-13T14:39:00.000-05:00

"SUNDAY AT 1, WE'RE GOING TO PLAY OUR BEST GAME OF THE YEAR"

--ROMEO A. CRENNEL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ShhhMQrIzE

How many players from this video can you name only watching it once (Browns only...each player only counts once)? I think I got a 28.

Here Come the Browns

2007-12-12T10:35:00.000-05:00

i have included some excellent you tube Browns music and video, including a Christmas Anthem.

Here Come the Browns
http://www.stickam.com/editMediaComment.do?method=load&mId=173776364

Yule Tide Brownies
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9s6lkPh9-aQ

Nostalgia
http://youtube.com/watch?v=B3dAfkOUuV0

The Girls of Cleveland Browns Stadium
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AN1z51RdjQo&feature=related

I love Jim Donavon

2007-12-10T12:15:00.000-05:00

First, there was "Run William Run." Then there was "Take a bow Kid." Now listen to the call of Jamal Lewis' 31 yard touchdown yesterday to seal the victory. It is spectacular.

Use this link and watch the NFL Network Recap.
http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/multimedia/mediaplayer.php?id=4369

Also, another great quote by Jim D following the TD run.
"Dial up the Pilot and tell him to warm up the plane. The Browns are coming home 8-5."

GET OFF ME, B$TCHES! BROWNS WIN!

2007-12-10T08:58:00.001-05:00

Quote of the Week

2007-12-07T15:49:00.000-05:00

This is totally random and doesn't have anything to do with Football, but I had to post it. It's from my buddy Vince Martin, who's a stand-up comedian. The best part is, he wasn't really trying to be funny here!

"I was in Cleveland last weekend -- did one show Friday to 13 people and one show Saturday to 12 people. We stayed in a motel called the Oak Park Motel which -- I swear -- had a charge on the rate schedule of $20.00 for bloodstains. I thought that was a reasonable rate, though it says something about the quality of an establishment when they see bloodstains often enough that they have to install a charge for them."

C-Town baby!

Good Recap of Browns - Cardinals Game

2007-12-06T16:18:00.001-05:00

Check out the recap of the Browns - Cardinals game last Sunday at The Cleveland Fan.

READING BETWEEN THE LINES ON DA

2007-12-04T12:18:00.000-05:00

Friends, I come to you with a conflicted soul. For weeks now, the Browns have been winning and playing an entertaining brand of football not seen in Cleveland for the last twenty years. Even in losses, the games are heart-stopping and, unlike previous years, we seem to be in them right until the very end. The offense hums like the 1987 Toyota Tercel that was my carriage throughout high school. However, because I’m a Browns fan, I can’t just enjoy the moment. I have to worry about everything that can and possibly will go wrong. I just can’t shake this certain feeling.

The inevitable conversation comes up about Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson and what the Browns are to do, which is sort of funny given the laughable QB situation the Browns have had for the past eight years. Is it possible for someone who was previously starving to have too much food?

Derek Anderson has performed so far above his head that his nose should bleed for a week to ten days. Not much was expected from this man with the Size 17s, but he has been a solid field general who has given Braylon and Kellen the opportunity to make plays while (mostly) limiting his mistakes. But be honest...are you really convinced that Derek Anderson is the long term answer at QB?

Despite our hopes, there is no way that Brady Quinn is going to be content sticking around as a backup and collecting backup money. We can try to fool ourselves into thinking that because Quinn grew up in Ohio and used to wear a Browns helmet, he’ll be ok just being a good soldier and doing whatever the team asks, but we would be kidding ourselves. No, at some point soon, a decision is going to have to be made between the two. If recent comments are any indication, the decision may have already been made.

Last week, Phil Savage was pretty guarded in his praise for Anderson. Here’s what Phil had to say:

''He's done an excellent job overall,'' Savage said. ''There have been some wobbly moments, some times when you wonder what's happening here. But at the end of games -- with no timeouts, backs against wall, do-or-die situations -- he's hit the key passes. That's something you can't really coach. Some of it's instinctual and some of it is just his personality. It's a good trait to have.''

Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Yet, when the subject of Brady Quinn was brought up, here’s was Savage’s response:

Asked how he thinks Quinn would do in the still-developing Rob Chudzinski offense, Savage didn't hesitate. "I think Brady would plug in and do well," he said. "It's a pretty enviable cockpit to be riding in right now. You've got a pretty solid front line, got a very motivated Kellen Winslow, you've got Braylon Edwards making the catches that he's made on the perimeter, Joe Jurevicius, a pretty solid running game. I think Brady would do well."

It appears from those comments that Savage and the powers that be believe that the superior supporting cast has allowed Anderson to break out like an eleven year old boy (I went through puberty early, ok?) rather than the other way around. And if that is the case, I find myself agreeing with that point of view.

Now, I’m no Quinn apologist. I don’t like Notre Dame and I generally distrust men who are prettier than me. Yet, when I add up Quinn’s performance in the preseason, some inside scoop about his impressive combine interview, and Notre Dame’s performance with vs. without Quinn, I am at least intrigued. When you add that to the fact that Anderson’s value is never likely to be higher than this off-season, I think the Browns would be well served to give him the highest tender and wait for the offers to roll in (which they certainly will). If they don’t match, a first round pick (presumably higher than the one we gave up for Brady) and third round pick would come the Browns’ way, which we could use on some fat guys to play defensive line. Sounds like a plan to me.

This one is sure to divide Clevelanders like nothing since the great Stadium Mustard vs. Ball Park Mustard debate. I don’t know why I’m thinking about this now (slow day at work, obviously). Forget it for now...let’s just drill the goddamn JETS!!

Go Browns.

Browns Lose, 21-27 to Arizona

2007-12-03T11:55:00.000-05:00

For those that saw the game, and the last play, it's pretty obvious that K2 would have come down in bounds had he not been pushed out by Antrel Rolle and Oliver Celestin. Here is the push out rule from the NFL Rule Book:

8. A forward pass is complete when a receiver clearly possesses the pass and touches the ground with both feet inbounds while in possession of the ball. If a receiver would have landed inbounds with both feet but is carried or pushed out of bounds while maintaining possession of the ball, pass is complete at the out-of-bounds spot.

I'm not sure what the ref was looking at but it seemed pretty obvious to all of us in Portland! Anyway, to be in a position to win that game after having committed 4 turnovers is pretty amazing. This team is fun to watch, I just wish they'd show up in the first quarter sometimes.

Our First Christmas Card

2007-12-01T13:22:00.001-05:00

2007-11-30T11:45:00.001-05:00

Team MUTM W13 Pick'em Picks

2007-11-30T11:43:00.000-05:00

Top Dawg
Dallas
New York Jets
Minnesota
Seattle
Tennessee
Jacksonville
Washington
San Diego
Carolina
St. Louis
Cleveland
Denver
New Orleans
Chicago
Pittsburgh
New England

Maxx
Green Bay
Carolina
Indianapolis
Minnesota
San Diego
Miami
Washington
Tennessee
St. Louis
Seattle
Cleveland
Denver
Tampa Bay
Chicago
Pittsburgh
New England

Bird
Green Bay
Kansas City
Indianapolis
Carolina
Buffalo
Houston
Atlanta
Phillidelphia
Minnesota
Miami
Cleveland
Oakland
New York Giants
Tampa Bay
Pittsburgh
New England

MUTM Wins Week 12 Pick'em!

2007-11-30T11:36:00.000-05:00

We went 32-16 to beat the SteelSkins. Luckily one of their guys forgot to submit picks, so it sort of a cheap win, but we'll take it! Look for a boast post on SteelSkins soon.

Check Out Browns v. Texans Highlights

2007-11-25T17:49:00.001-05:00

Browns v. Texans Highlights

Browns Defeat Houston 27-17

2007-11-25T17:34:00.000-05:00

The Browns continued their winning ways by defeating the Houston Texans 27-17. After starting the game slowly, and struggling to find their rhythm on offense, the Browns put it together and began to click. Thanks to great line play once again, a fantastic performance from rookie DB Brandon McDonald, and quality play from Jamal Lewis and K2, the Browns settled into their usual high powered offensive performance. DA had a pretty good day, but also suffered early from some terrible throws. It seemed that just before or after a 'Frye'esque' type throw, he would thread the needle at 200mph for a touchdown or important first down. This team is looking more and more legit with every win. They play with heart, and especially when Anderson it seen smiling heading to the huddle, it seems they can beat anyone. Next up: Arizona.

TEAM MUTM's Week 12 Picks

2007-11-25T13:01:00.001-05:00

Here they are, GO BROWNS!

Bird
Green Bay
Dallas
Indianapolis
St. Loius
Tampa Bay
New York Giants
Kansas City
Jacksonville
Cleveland
Cincinnati
Carolina
Arizona
Chicago
San Diego
New England
Pittsburgh

TOP DAWG
Green Bay
Dallas
Indianapolis
Jacksonville
Cleveland
Kansas City
Seattle
New York Giants
Washington
New Orleans
Tennessee
Arizona
San Diego
Denver
New England
Pittsburgh

MAXX
Green Bay
Dallas
Indianapolis
New Orleans
Cincinnati
Cleveland
Jacksonville
Kansas City
New York Giants
Seattle
Washington
Arizona
Denver
San Diego
New England
Pittsburgh

Team MUTM Loses Week 11 Pick'em

2007-11-25T12:53:00.000-05:00

Hat's off to the SteelSkins, they went 39-9 in the week 11 Pick'em Competition to continue their dominance over team MUTM. It's always close though, as we went 33-15. Well done SteelSkins! Now if you could've just beaten Dallas and the New York Jets...

Too Good -- Check out #81's reaction!

2007-11-20T15:26:00.000-05:00

Karma is one Vindictive Bitch

2007-11-19T10:43:00.000-05:00

After watching one of the most interesting finishes to a game ever, one thing is clear: If you compose your franchise of a selfish owner, a complete ass of a coach, and a murdering middle linebacker, eventually Karma will take a nice bite out of your ass. In honor of the Browns miraculous victory, I have produced my own ditty of Karma Chameleon by the Culture Club.

Enjoy.

Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon

You Come and Go

Your selfish actions will prevent you from going to the hall of fame,

and your to blame, your to blame.

Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon

You come and go, you come and go

Your coach is so arrogant and such a colossol prick,

now your 4 and 6

dont kick to number one six.

MUTM's Week 11 Pick'em Picks

2007-11-18T19:04:00.000-05:00

Well, let's be honest...things aren't going well for Team MUTM on the pick'em front. We've lost pretty much every week but one so far to the Steel Skins. But things aren't so bad in the rest of our lives. For starters, we all have beautiful wives. We're all doing pretty much what we want to for work, and best of all, we all root for a team that's on the verge. So, there's not too much to complain about. As of this week, I'm officially going to stop allowing my dog to make my picks and we're going to get serious on the bi-team web site. BOOYAH!

Bird's Picks
Cincy
Cleveland
Tampa Bay
New York Giants

Philadelphia
Minnesota
Whales Vagina
Indianapolis
Texans
Packers
Steelers
Rams
Cowboys
NE
Denver

Maxx's Picks
Tampa Bay
Arizona
Indianapolis
Jacksonville
Oakland
Cleveland
Green Bay
New Orleans
Philadelphia
New York Giants
Pittsburgh
Dallas
San Francisco
Seattle
New England
Tennessee

Top Dawg's Picks
JAX
CLE
NYG
NO
GB
INDY
MINN
PHILLY
TB
CINCY
PITT
WASH
STL
CHI
N'ENGLAND
TENNESSEE, T, T, T, TENNESSEE.

Dawson Wins It!

2007-11-18T18:32:00.000-05:00

Thank God for instant replay. I thought this one was over when the kick came out. But thank God for instant replay! What a kick, and what a great call. You gotta love it when the calls go our way. It seems to be happening more and more this season. And we're reaping the benefits. Despite some pretty atrocious line play on passing downs, and some jittery play by DA, we managed to eek this one out. What a great game by Jamal Lewis. And can we say enough about how Cribbs puts us in great field position almost every time. Remember when we had Northcutt back there? He was good, but Cribbs is something different all together. His goal is the house every time, and at the very least he expects to get to the 40. That's unreal. It's an amazing advantage we have over many teams that I don't think gets talked about enough. What a great win today. Go Browns.

Cribbs interview on Clevelandbrowns.com

2007-11-13T13:55:00.000-05:00

If you haven't seen it already, it's worth your while to check out the Josh Cribbs post game interview on ClevelandBrowns.com. It's hilarious. I love this kid. He's dancing on the stage showing how be ducked and dodged would be tacklers, which, after a loss like that would make most people angry, but Cribbs is so sincere you love him for it. He also talks about the team and how much they care about each other. It makes you pretty psyched about the future of Browns football, and about our chances to rebound against Baltimore this coming Sunday.

Mediocraty is OK

2007-11-12T16:46:00.000-05:00

The Common Man

Maybe mediocrity isn’t so bad. I look at myself. I have always had a good head on my shoulders, but I’m not Harvard (pronounced Hahvahd with a snooty accent) material. I have done well in my career, but I’m no where near independently wealthy. I have always been pretty good at sports, but rather limited due to my body type (Think skinny extremities with a tire around the waist). Like Joe Walsh (from Cleveland by the way) "I'm just an ordinary average guy." And still, I like who I am. So maybe mediocrity is OK. The way I see it, it could be worse. I could be a high school dropout, unemployed, and always the kid picked last in gym class. So, maybe having the Cleveland Browns, (who blew a chance to establish themselves as one of the NFL’s ‘good teams” yesterday), arrive at mediocrity in the league is good enough. Lets be honest, the alternative, (last years pathetic 4-12 record) just sucks. To be able to be Phil Dawson’s lame 49 yard capacity leg away from beating a very good Steelers team in a finally meaningful game is a huge step for me and the city of Cleveland. We finally found a way to win a close game against a good team last week. Recently, in this rivalry against the Steelers, we have taken it on the chin worse than any late night cinemax starlet, and here we were again with a chance to do something special for the city of Clevelend. I had nightmares about this week. The Browns have come into games like this in recent years, with the city behind them, and serious momentum, and took a collective dump on us by laying an egg. They fought real hard yesterday, and for that, I applaud them. We have a real shot at being in the wild card hunt, and after last year’s pathetic season, that’s a huge step. So, I am proud of my mediocrity and of the Cleveland Browns. And the Tribe, and the Cavs, and my job, and my men's league hockey talent. All good but not great.

Let’s talk about the game now. I watched the game on the speed replay on the NFL ticket so I didn’t hear any commentating and didn’t see any replays. I think this allowed me to see the game in a new light without any outside opinions. Here are my thoughts.

After all of these years of drafting and developing special team’s players, it has finally paid off. We have had a team full of special team caliber players for the past few seasons. Now, we have a more complete bunch, and these kids can play. Mike Adams is making great tackles. And Josh Cribbs had probably one of the finest plays in the Browns history yesterday turning a disaster into a beautiful run. Watching him smoke those first two defenders at the ten, and then watching the entourage direct traffic and escort the man to the end zone was a thing of beauty.

Eric Wright is a fine player. Great play in the end zone in the first half. Some of the finest tackling on the team. He doesn’t go for the big hit, but tackles smartly and confidently. His tackle on Rothlisberger was just awesome. Unfortunately, stopping Heath Miller on 3rd and 18 wasn’t such a nice play for anyone involved.

The Jamal Lewis fumble should have been whistled for forward progress.

Sean Jones needs to start leading. Too many times during defensive breakdowns, he is yelling and bitching at other players. That has to stop. On the other hand, I love his intensity at the end of the game on the kneel down to leave a tough taste in the mouth of the players for next week.

The Browns defense played tough in many spots today. They were flying into the line of scrimmage, and generally attacking. Brodney Pool's int was evidence of that. However, too many mistakes and big plays on 3rd down. That 3rd and 18 was disgusting. Willie McGinest was atrocious. We also got caught on play fakes like crazy as a result of our aggressiveness. I would rather keep up the attacking nature though. Sitting back and watching our DB’s try to cover for 7 seconds is unbearable.

I don’t know about the hold on Dinkins, but the refs really let the Steelers get away with a lot. On that 3rd and 18, Peek was tackled as he was about the get to Big Ben. I saw Wimbley get absolutely dragged down on a few plays. Don’t know how obvious that was on replays, but could have used a few of those calls.

Finally, welcome to reality DA. He didn’t throw one good pass today. Even the easy ones across the middle were low, behind, or in the dirt. He just sucked. Plain and simple. He had more time than any Cleveland QB has had against the Steelers that I can remember, and he was shaking in his size 17’s.

Next week is another chance to prove ourselves. Maybe this mediocre bunch can do something that resembles greatness.

I Can't believe it.

2007-11-11T20:38:00.000-05:00

I literally can't believe it. I watched it. The whole game. And still it doesn't make sense.

What a let down. I can't really write more right now because I'm so pissed. Great run by Big Ben at the end though, damnit.

Latest Browns News 11.09.07

2007-11-09T11:52:00.000-05:00

Attack, to break the Steelers' spell

Rivals again: Browns, Steelers play for division lead

Team Report: Inside Slant

CRUCIAL CLASH IN PITTSBURGH

Browns are pushovers no more

Former Coventry High and Kent State star James Harrison leads Pittsburgh Steelers against Cleveland Browns

NFL Expert Picks - Week 10

Browns' guards feeling pain

Cleveland Browns' starting guards may miss game against Pittsburgh Steelers

Holly still sore over Ward hit

McManamon: Browns don't have history on side, but ...

Defending the Defense

NFL Preview - Cleveland (5-3) at Pittsburgh (6-2)

Meager pass rush burdens Browns

Cleveland Browns might start Ryan Tucker at right guard

Preparing for 'Blitzburgh'

Steelers put Winslow on alert for Sunday

Steelers: Browns have to win for it to be a rivalry

Browns' Bentley parked for 2007

Browns find some direction, but where will it take them?

Thomas turning into a sure thing for surprising Browns

He's all heart

Browns better than Week 1

Dear Metcalf Up the Middle:

2007-11-09T11:37:00.000-05:00

It’s good to be back. I probably post on this site more than on my own blog, but that’ll happen.

So guess what’s going on this Sunday? You’ll never guess. Guess yet?

That’s right, it’s just as you feared.

5-4 isn’t that bad. Still above .500, still respectable, still a sign that Derek Anderson is playing out of his mind, even if he did get sacked 6 times and was picked up and carried into the end zone and body slammed by up and coming Ohioan James Harrison.

So you got that going for you.

You’ll nurse your injuries, and then beat Baltimore for sweet, sweet revenge. You’ll get over it. You’ll probably even make the playoffs. The Wild Card is an accomplishment! Don’t sell yourself short! I mean, Kellen Winslow’s a soldier. He really is. Dr. Z even feels sorry for him. May I quote:

"The Browns' Kellen played in pain the entire way, made big catches to set up two touchdowns, including the final one. A correspondent who was in the postgame locker room described the scene as follows: "Someone asked him, 'Is this your sweetest day as a pro?' He put his head down for a few moments. When he looked up there were tears running down his face. 'I'm sorry,' he said." You think that after something like that, I'm not going to raise the Brownies to the top 10?"

Yeah! You are in the Top 10, Way to go Girl! I hope—really—that game will not be your sweetest game as a pro. Because that would be sad. Really.

Good luck Sunday. You’re gonna need it. Don’t let this be you!

Posted By SteelSkins

Browns Ranked in TOP 10...Among Winning Teams!

2007-11-08T10:57:00.000-05:00

Ahh...WHAT? Holy Cow! How did this happen? It's all too much too soon if you ask me. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but geez...top ten? On SI.com Dr. Z's NFL Power Rankings, (who I can't believe still has a job solely based on how bad his pre-season picks usually are) the Cleveland Browns are ranked 10th in the league! And it gets better! On ESPN.com Mike McAllister's Power Rankings has the Browns at 9th in the league! Here are some of the teams that are ranked BELOW us! The Saints, Jaguars, Redskins, CHARGERS, Eagles, Bears, Broncos, and Bengals! Um...hello! Because the jaded, beaten little boy of a Cleveland fan will always have a strong voice inside me this whole thing just gives me the willys. It's like that good looking girl (most of you can feel free to take out the "good looking" part, and some of you "good looking" and "girl".) you meet in college who you hook-up with and the next thing you know she's talking about going to watch the school's soccer team the next day followed by dinner with her friends and maybe seeing a movie in her dorm. Um...this was pretty sweet for a bit, but now you're just freaking me out. I had sleeping in till noon, playing PS2 and hitting the bong on my schedule...got to go. It's too much too soon. Why can't we stay under the radar a little bit? Just have us float around 16th or 18th for a few more weeks. Maybe meet up a few more times and see if this thing has legs? I know our record says we should be where we are, but I still feel very uncomfortable with it. I'm definitely not used to the feeling that we're supposed to win games. And how about actually coming back to win a game? It's like we're suddenly a real team. But I just can't believe it, not yet. If we beat the Steelers, then yes, I believe. But for now I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. As sad as that is, it's the truth.

MUTM Week 9 Pick'em Picks

2007-11-03T17:15:00.000-04:00

Bird
Kansas City
Detroit
Cincinnati
Atlanta
Carolina
Arizona
Washington
New Orleans
San Diego
Cleveland
Oakland
Indianapolis
Philadelphia
Pittsburgh

Top Dawg
Green Bay
Denver
Cincinnati
San Francisco
Jacksonville
Tampa Bay
Washington
New Orleans
San Diego
Cleveland
Oakland
New England
Dallas
Pittsburgh

Maxx
Tennessee
Tampa Bay
Washington
Jacksonville
San Diego
San Francisco
Green Bay
Denver
Cincinnati
Cleveland
New England
Houston
Dallas
Pittsburgh

Steel Skins Boast Post...

2007-10-30T14:38:00.000-04:00

Since the SteelSkins (http://steelskins.blogspot.com/) have handed yet another loss to Metcalf Up the Middle (http://www.metcalfupthemiddle.blogspot.com/), we thought we’d honor this occasion with some foreshadowing: Don’t worry NFL, the Steelers (once again) have got your backs.

What the dismal Browns (albeit, at 4-3 they’re not as dismal as they usually are) failed to do back in Week 5—what some pundits are now calling for (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/29/AR2007102902167.html?sub=AR)—the Steelers sell in dime bags.

Yes, it’s about time we take the pundits seriously. Finally, people are calling for Tom Brady’s knees (http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2007/10/effective-immediately-bounty-on-tom.html). And why not? Belichick and his cheating (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI_zhsVWyAU) Patriots have now run up the score on all 8 of their opponents (what, with their fancy fake spikes and keeping their starters in despite a 42-point lead). And while Cleveland, along with the rest of the league, failed to do much of anything to their former coach while happily accepting their 34-17 defeat, the Pittsburgh Steelers have never failed to excel in the “accidental low hit” category.

You may ask, why the Steelers, and why not the Browns? Excellent question. And to be honest, we here at SteelSkins are equally stumped as to why the Browns’ veins, which normally flow with red vengeance toward the countless teams that have embarrassed them (insert Broncos, insert Steelers, insert Art Modell, insert…the league), why were those same veins flowing with pink pansy goodness during Week 5 against the Pats? The Brownies should have been foaming at the mouths for the opportunity to crush Tom Brady and give their former coach his first loss of the season. It just goes to show, if it’s Brown, flush it down.

The Steelers, on the other hand, proved two things this pre-season (http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0807/451055.html): 1. You don’t need a fatty named Kimo von Oelhoffen to put a quarterback’s season in jeopardy; and 2. Just like Charlie Hustle in an All-Star game (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/1999/07/10/SP51494.DTL), we always go all out.
So let this be a warning to you, Coach Belichick: If you keep up the shenanigans, you’ll pay a hefty price, come Week 14. A price not paid since Ralph Macchio last met up with Billy “Sweep the Leg” Zabka.

Latest Browns News 10.30.07

2007-10-30T09:53:00.000-04:00

DA Highlights - video

Browns' comeback effort pleases Crennel

Refreshed Seahawks go back to work

Starting over with a clean slate

Browns: Big Three looming large for 4-3 team

Derek Anderson, Browns' QB Audio ESPN.com (1 day ago)Anderson passed for 248 yards and three TDs in Cleveland's 27-20 win over St. Louis. Anderson complimented Braylon Edwards and the offensive line.

Cleveland Browns quarterback Derek Anderson flourishes

Upon Further Review: Browns vs. Rams

Browns fans climb aboard

Cleveland Browns quarterback Derek Anderson second in NFL in touchdown passes

Seahawks extend time off

TD tandem has own star quality

Podcast: Tony Grossi talks Browns

Crennel has highest approval rating on ESPN

2007-10-30T09:51:00.000-04:00

Romeo is tied with Marinara, Tomlin, and McCarthy.

http://proxy.espn.go.com/nfl/sportsnation/ratings?seasonYear=2007&seasonType=2&week=8

Parcells on Browns and Crennel

2007-10-30T09:46:00.000-04:00

Although this seems a little forced, it's nice to see the Browns are starting to turn some heads around the league!

MUTM loses to Steel Skins in W7

2007-10-26T11:18:00.000-04:00

Boy this was a tough one. We lost to the Steel Skins this week 27 wins to 28. Our scores were:

MUTM: 27-15

Steel Skins: 28-14

It's obvious the guys at Steel Skins are into performance enhancing drugs. I've got a good feeling about this week though, and we gladly await their post. Below are Team MUTM's individual scores.

Maxx: 10-4

Overall Record: 46-25

Bird: 9-5

Overall Record: 40-31

Top Dawg: 8-6

Overall Record: 39-32

Team MUTM: 125-88

MUTM Week 8 Pick'em Picks

2007-10-26T11:14:00.000-04:00

Bird's Picks

Cleveland

New York Giants

Philadelphia

Indianapolis

Chicago

Cincinnati

Tennessee

Tampa Bay

New York JETS

San Diego

New Orleans

New England

Denver

Maxx's Picks

Chicago

Pittsburgh

Tennessee

Cleveland

New York Giants

Minnesota

Indianapolis

Buffalo

San Diego

Tampa Bay

New England

New Orleans

Denver

Top Dawg's Picks:

Chicago

Pittsburgh

Indianapolis

Tennessee

Cleveland

New York Giants

Minnesota

New York Jets

San Diego

Jacksonville

New Orleans

Washington

Denver

Bitter Taste

2007-10-22T15:26:00.000-04:00

Here is good read about the Indians collapse. One quote stands out.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/playoffs2007/columns/story?columnist=bryant_howard&id=3073814

"If sport is to have any value at all, the road traveled, even when it leads to a dead end, should always be a trip worth taking. Without the pain, the champagne, when it finally flows, will have no taste."

My concern is that I won't be thirsty when I finally get to take a sip.

MUTM W7 Pick'em Picks

2007-10-21T16:57:00.000-04:00

Top Dawg
Houston
Tampa Bay
New England
New Orleans
New York Giants
Baltimore
Washington
Oakland
Cincinnatti
Philadelphia
Seattle
Dallas
Denver
Jacksonville

Bird
NE
Wash
NO
Baltimore
Dallas
Giants
Tampa Bay
Houston
Oakland
Cincy
Chicago
Seattle
Pitt
Indy

Maxx
Baltimore
Tampa Bay
New England
NO
NYG
Washington
Tennessee
Cincinnati
Kansas City
Dallas
Philadelphia
Seattle
Pittsburgh
Indy

"Manny being a Douchebag"

2007-10-17T18:19:00.000-04:00

Most Red Sox fans probably reveled in Manny Ramirez's pose last night and probably elbowed their buddy and said "That's just Manny being Manny". Like somehow, because he is stupid and aloof, his ridiculous behavior is somehow justified. To me, that was "Manny being a douchebag."

That's like watching a pedophile standing outside of a jungle gym, and excusing his behavior because, "That's just a pedophile being a pedophile." Or forgiving Edi Amin for all of the atrocities he was responsible for in Uganda. He was an eccentric character just like Manny. But hey, genocide was OK too because that was just "Edi being Edi."

Go Tribe

Team MUTM Individual Pick'em Scores Week 6

2007-10-17T13:58:00.000-04:00

Maxx: 8-5
Overall Record: 36-21

Top Dawg: 6-7
Overall Record: 31-26

Bird: 7-6
Overall Record: 31-26

Team MUTM: 98-73

MUTM Loses Week 6 Pick'em

2007-10-16T17:08:00.000-04:00

Team MUTM went 21-18 this past week, but it wasn't good enough to beat those sketchy "guys" over at Steel Skins who went 23-16 to take the win. (We caught a photo of one of them this weekend posted here)

Sadly, they've earned the write (oh the puns!) to post on MUTM, so here's their post:

Your team's name reminds us of our last bowel movement

I come not to praise Metcalf Up the Middle but to bury them. As the victors of the Week 6 pick em, I duly note that all of us at SteelSkins picked the Browns to win. And what's not to like about the Browns? Classy, retro uniforms with ugly colors perfectly suited to black and white television, a legacy of greatness that no one remembers because it was before the advent of marketing and the televised Super Bowl, a more recent legacy of gut-wrenching losses, like The Drive, The Fumble, and the 2002 Loss to the Steelers in the Playoffs Despite the Fact the Steelers Couldn't Cover a Tackle Eligible on a Fly Route, Plus We Had Tommy Maddox. I watched that game with 2 Browns fans and, to be honest, I felt a little bad as I repeatedly pelvic thrusted the sweet, sweet air of victory while screaming STEELTOWN FOREVER at the top of my lungs. Just a little. And how can we forget Art Modell's Fly By Night and Subsequent Super Bowl Win in Baltimore? Or the Saga of LeCharles Bentley?

The Browns are the girl from high school you swooned over until you forgot about her in college, and when you returned back to live in your small town 15 years later, you found out she had been left by 3 men who also left behind 3 kids. But she's doing her best, earning a promotion at the insurance company despite fending off the boss's advances, giving her kids the right values, and really proving that she's not the ditzy sophomore who spurned you for the Senior Jock so she could win homecoming queen. She's showing her resiliency, and while she's not the bloom on the high school rose, she's a real woman, and she's still got it, despite throwing on an extra 20 pounds (but you like the thickies, yo!). So you take her out to lunch, and man does she chow down, like a horse at a feedbag! It's captivating and sickening all at once…maybe you will make a go at her…But then you remember that you're already married, with bonds formed of STEEL.

Derek Anderson, you got to like this kid. Braylon and Winslow are shutting up and playing, Kamerion Wimbley is the real deal, and so might be Joe Thomas. But Jamal Lewis? Get rid of that guy.

I have no doubt that the Browns will give the Steelers a tougher game at Heinz Field, but it won't be as close as you think it will. Until next week!

Week 6 SteelSkins rankings:
Aaron: 7-6
Adam: 8-5
Sean: 8-5
Overall Score: 23-16

Straight from the rectum of: Aaron P. Diddy

Happy OctoberFest

2007-10-15T20:20:00.000-04:00

So I was in Chicago this weekend for my annual Octoberfest Party. After passing out in full lederhosen with burrito cheese and lettuce stuck to my shirt (don’t remember stopping for food on the way home) I awoke for the showdown with the lowly Miami Dolphins. That damn central standard time gave me only a 6 minute window to get up and get ready for the game. I’m too old to be sleeping until 11:50 AM, but really how could I sleep after the Tribe game. I can honestly say I haven’t felt that hungover for a Browns game since two weeks ago for the Baltimore game after trying to party with Winthorpe, that playboy Todd, and some other Harvard kids.

Anyways, it is usually a good gauge as to how the Browns are playing by how quickly I turn back to the sauce when things start sucking. Well, the Browns quickly got out to a 24-3 lead and things were looking good, and my body was thanking me. All of a sudden, our defense allowed the highly tauted Miami offense led by Cleo MacDowell Lemon, whose buns have no seeds, march up and down the field and bring the game to a three point decision.

And so, I had to turn to my good friend who lives in a 12 ounce brown bottle for the rest of the game. The Browns, and the Miller Brewing company didn’t disappoint. We finally are winning games were supposed to and finishing off teams. 3-3 into the Bye week, and here are some thoughts on the game.

-Someone finally realized if you just throw the ball up high to Braylon Edwards, he is going to get most of the balls. He is playing awesome. Could he be the first Brown since Jamir Miller (Wow that’s sad) to visit Hawaii?

-I must admit, although DA throws the ball into coverage often, he does like to throw when defenders are turned around. And he has the gun to get it there before they get there heads back to the ball. He is really rolling right now. Remember Jeff Garcia's 0 quarterback rating in a game for the Browns. DA had a 150 yesterday. And DA likes woman.

-Watching Joey Porter get burned by Winslow was just awesome. You can now insert your foot into that giant mouth of yours. And remove K2’s stiff arm that is still in your chest from last year when he douched you.

-Did you see Lawrence Vickers block on the kick off return in the second half. He knocked a Dolphin 6 feet in the air. It was the most impressive block I have ever seen. Josh Cribbs is good, but Vickers has been great opening holes for him too.

-On that same note, I bet the guy next to me 10 bucks we give Vickers the ball on 3rd and 1. Granted he got the first, but I am a little concerned that if I can call the plays, defensive coordinators should be able to sniff it out too.

-Welcome Jerome Harrison. The ghost was a “Phantom” menace (bad joke, bad movie). He was tough to tackle, and had a burst that really sparked us when the 'Phins were making there way back in the game.

-What is up with the defense. I don’t think the Dolphins have any other players than Ronnie Brown. We should have been spying him the whole game. Get eight guys in the box, and make Cleo Lemon beat you. I am disgusted with our game plan. Did you notice when Marty Booker or Chambers, not sure, just walked to the middle of our zone for a first down. I love Grantham's fire, but he’s not giving me a lot of confidence right now.

-Another good game for Eric Wright. He is starting to feel his way out there. However, two critiques. One, get your head around to defend the ball. Too many times he is still