MUTM Loses Week 6 Pick'em

Team MUTM went 21-18 this past week, but it wasn't good enough to beat those sketchy "guys" over at Steel Skins who went 23-16 to take the win. (We caught a photo of one of them this weekend posted here)




Sadly, they've earned the write (oh the puns!) to post on MUTM, so here's their post:

Your team's name reminds us of our last bowel movement

I come not to praise Metcalf Up the Middle but to bury them. As the victors of the Week 6 pick em, I duly note that all of us at SteelSkins picked the Browns to win. And what's not to like about the Browns? Classy, retro uniforms with ugly colors perfectly suited to black and white television, a legacy of greatness that no one remembers because it was before the advent of marketing and the televised Super Bowl, a more recent legacy of gut-wrenching losses, like The Drive, The Fumble, and the 2002 Loss to the Steelers in the Playoffs Despite the Fact the Steelers Couldn't Cover a Tackle Eligible on a Fly Route, Plus We Had Tommy Maddox. I watched that game with 2 Browns fans and, to be honest, I felt a little bad as I repeatedly pelvic thrusted the sweet, sweet air of victory while screaming STEELTOWN FOREVER at the top of my lungs. Just a little. And how can we forget Art Modell's Fly By Night and Subsequent Super Bowl Win in Baltimore? Or the Saga of LeCharles Bentley?

The Browns are the girl from high school you swooned over until you forgot about her in college, and when you returned back to live in your small town 15 years later, you found out she had been left by 3 men who also left behind 3 kids. But she's doing her best, earning a promotion at the insurance company despite fending off the boss's advances, giving her kids the right values, and really proving that she's not the ditzy sophomore who spurned you for the Senior Jock so she could win homecoming queen. She's showing her resiliency, and while she's not the bloom on the high school rose, she's a real woman, and she's still got it, despite throwing on an extra 20 pounds (but you like the thickies, yo!). So you take her out to lunch, and man does she chow down, like a horse at a feedbag! It's captivating and sickening all at once…maybe you will make a go at her…But then you remember that you're already married, with bonds formed of STEEL.

Derek Anderson, you got to like this kid. Braylon and Winslow are shutting up and playing, Kamerion Wimbley is the real deal, and so might be Joe Thomas. But Jamal Lewis? Get rid of that guy.

I have no doubt that the Browns will give the Steelers a tougher game at Heinz Field, but it won't be as close as you think it will. Until next week!

Week 6 SteelSkins rankings:
Aaron: 7-6
Adam: 8-5
Sean: 8-5
Overall Score: 23-16

Straight from the rectum of: Aaron P. Diddy

Happy OctoberFest

So I was in Chicago this weekend for my annual Octoberfest Party. After passing out in full lederhosen with burrito cheese and lettuce stuck to my shirt (don’t remember stopping for food on the way home) I awoke for the showdown with the lowly Miami Dolphins. That damn central standard time gave me only a 6 minute window to get up and get ready for the game. I’m too old to be sleeping until 11:50 AM, but really how could I sleep after the Tribe game. I can honestly say I haven’t felt that hungover for a Browns game since two weeks ago for the Baltimore game after trying to party with Winthorpe, that playboy Todd, and some other Harvard kids.

Anyways, it is usually a good gauge as to how the Browns are playing by how quickly I turn back to the sauce when things start sucking. Well, the Browns quickly got out to a 24-3 lead and things were looking good, and my body was thanking me. All of a sudden, our defense allowed the highly tauted Miami offense led by Cleo MacDowell Lemon, whose buns have no seeds, march up and down the field and bring the game to a three point decision.

And so, I had to turn to my good friend who lives in a 12 ounce brown bottle for the rest of the game. The Browns, and the Miller Brewing company didn’t disappoint. We finally are winning games were supposed to and finishing off teams. 3-3 into the Bye week, and here are some thoughts on the game.

-Someone finally realized if you just throw the ball up high to Braylon Edwards, he is going to get most of the balls. He is playing awesome. Could he be the first Brown since Jamir Miller (Wow that’s sad) to visit Hawaii?

-I must admit, although DA throws the ball into coverage often, he does like to throw when defenders are turned around. And he has the gun to get it there before they get there heads back to the ball. He is really rolling right now. Remember Jeff Garcia's 0 quarterback rating in a game for the Browns. DA had a 150 yesterday. And DA likes woman.

-Watching Joey Porter get burned by Winslow was just awesome. You can now insert your foot into that giant mouth of yours. And remove K2’s stiff arm that is still in your chest from last year when he douched you.

-Did you see Lawrence Vickers block on the kick off return in the second half. He knocked a Dolphin 6 feet in the air. It was the most impressive block I have ever seen. Josh Cribbs is good, but Vickers has been great opening holes for him too.

-On that same note, I bet the guy next to me 10 bucks we give Vickers the ball on 3rd and 1. Granted he got the first, but I am a little concerned that if I can call the plays, defensive coordinators should be able to sniff it out too.

-Welcome Jerome Harrison. The ghost was a “Phantom” menace (bad joke, bad movie). He was tough to tackle, and had a burst that really sparked us when the 'Phins were making there way back in the game.

-What is up with the defense. I don’t think the Dolphins have any other players than Ronnie Brown. We should have been spying him the whole game. Get eight guys in the box, and make Cleo Lemon beat you. I am disgusted with our game plan. Did you notice when Marty Booker or Chambers, not sure, just walked to the middle of our zone for a first down. I love Grantham's fire, but he’s not giving me a lot of confidence right now.

-Another good game for Eric Wright. He is starting to feel his way out there. However, two critiques. One, get your head around to defend the ball. Too many times he is still

Chud For MVP!

Wow! I love Chud! Chud for MVP! Amazing...scoring points with this offense! It must take a genius! Kellen Winslow...Braylon Edwards...Joshua Cribbs...where did he find the play makers??

What a pleasure to watch the Browns roll to a comfortable win. Obviously...there are some issues on defence these days, but to have the offense to cover those lapses is really nice. This team isn't going any where significant with a defence this porous, but it's still nice to put up some points. And if Savage is for real, and next year is all about he defensive line, we might be pretty scary come half season next year.

MUTM Picks Week 6

Maxx's Picks:
Chicago
Cleveland
Green Bay
Cincinnati
Philly
Tennessee
Jacksonville
Baltimore
Arizona
New England
San Diego
Seattle
New York Football Giants

Top Dawg's Picks:
Tennessee
Chicago
Jacksonville
Cleveland
Baltimore
Washington
Cincinnati
Philly
Arizona
San Diego
New England
Seattle
Atlanta

Bird's Picks:
Chicago
Cleveland
Washington
Cincinnati
Philly
Tennessee
Jacksonville
Baltimore
Arizona
New England
San Diego
Seattle
New York Giants

Check out the Steel Skins picks.

A few Pictures from Maxx and Bird's Venture to Gillette

Bird rocking his old school Browns jacket, and my wife in her Garcia jersey! ($5 on sale!)

This dude sums it up!

The view from our seats. Good times.

Team MUTM Spanks Steel Skins Again!

MUTM wins week 3 of the Pick'em competition vs. Steel Skins, racking up our second win in a row! The final scores were:

MUTM : 33 - 9

Steel Skins: 31 -11

Our individual scores:

Maxx: 11-3

Overall Record: 28-16

Bird: 11-3

Overall Record: 24-20

Top Dawg: 11-3

Overall Record: 25-19

Team MUTM: 77-55

Look for another article on Steel Skins soon!

Bird and Maxx Head Into The Lion's Den

Tomorrow, Bird and I will head to Gillette Stadium for the Browns v. Pats game! We're both stoked. Living in the northeast, it's not that often we get the chance to see the Browns play in person. Of course we're both wearing our Jersey's. Mine's a Quinn jersey and Bird will be wearing his Greg Pruitt jersey, I think. He was deciding between Bob Golic, Pruitt, Andra Davis or nothing...We're both interested to see the reaction we get with our Browns jersey's. Even my wife will be wearing her Jeff Garcia jersey (it was on sale for $5, and it was my number in high school...so I bought two! I'm sorry.) Most of all though I'm excited about being in the mix. I'm excited to see the Browns live so I can remember the smell, sound, and feel of the game when you're there. I've been watching the Browns in bars for as long as I can remember, often with no sound cause it's usually not the "popular game" at the bar. (whatever that means.) I'm ready for the jeers that are sure to come with a opposing teams jersey. Mostly, I'm just excited to be around the excitement of an NFL game. Even though I have the Browns to win in every pool I play (which is way against my best judgement) I've made peace with the fact that we're going to lose. I do hope we keep it close though. A 10 point loss, would be a moral victory for this team I think. And if we can score some points, I think we have a chance.....

Full Circle

When looking for some interesting/funny photos of Romeo Crennel on the intanet (I spelled it that way purposely) I came across an interesting short little article about Crennel taking the reins of the browns. It's interesting to me for two reasons. One, it reminded me that Butch Davis was signed long enough to be our coach THIS SEASON! Wow! So happy he's at North Carolina. And two it amazed me at how nice Crennel is. His quotes in this article are said with the same degree of sincerity and friendliness of his interviews today. Anyone who checks out the press conferences on http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/ knows this quote: "Hi, how's everybody doing today? I'm doing pretty good, pretty good!" That's how Romeo starts press conferences with a press core that routinely questions him and wonders how long he'll be coaching the Browns. So either Crennel is just resigned to the fact that this is a fickle business and he might be out the door tomorrow, or he agrees with the press cores assessment. Anyway, check out the article. You can't help but root for the guy. I kind of wish he was my Dad...

Crennel in charge of Browns Romeo Crennel, who helped New England win a third Super Bowl in four years as defensive coordinator, is the new head coach of the Cleveland Browns.
The Cleveland Plain Dealer reported Crennel has signed a five-year contract worth up to $2m in its first season.
The 57-year-old becomes the NFL's sixth black coach.
The others are Lovie Smith (Chicago), Herman Edwards (NY Jets) Tony Dungy (Indianapolis), Dennis Green (Arizona) and Marvin Lewis (Cincinnati).
"The last couple days have been really good for me," said Crennel.
"Along with winning the Super Bowl, being named head coach of the Cleveland Browns is a special accomplishment."
He takes over a Browns team that went just 4-12 last season to fall to 30-66 since rejoining the league in 1999.
Butch Davis, who had been signed through 2007, resigned in November and was replaced by offensive co-ordinator Terry Robiskie for the remaining five games of the season.
"I've been in this league for a little while and worked long and hard to try and get some things done," said Crennel, who stressed fundamentals and teamwork in his address to the media.
"I've been somewhat successful as a position coach. Now I'm able to take the reins of a team and try to run a whole programme.
"It's going to be a big challenge, but I'm looking forward to it."

MUTM Week 5 Picks

So we're 1-1 against our friends over at Steel Skins, and here are our picks for Week 5. We admit that our win last week over the Steel Skins was sort of budget, due to the fact that they lost cause they didn't have enough guys picking...but as Woody Allen said "80% of success is showing up." So we won't dwell on it. This week though should be interesting after the "upsets" from last week. Enough babbling...here are our picks:

Maxx's Picks:

Houston over Miami
Jacksonville over KC
New York Giants over New York Jets
Carolina over New Orleans
Cleveland over New England
Washington over Detroit
Tennessee over Atlanta
Arizona over St. Louis
Pittsburgh over Seattle
Indianapolis over Tampa Bay
Baltimore over San Francisco
Denver over San Diego
Green Bay over Chicago
Dallas over Buffalo

Top Dawg's Picks:

Tennessee over Atlanta
Houston over Miami
Jacksonville over KC
Arizona over St. Louis
Cleveland over New England
New Orleans over Carolina
New York Giants over New York Jets
Pittsburgh over Seattle
Washington over Detroit
Indianapolis over Tampa Bay
San Diego over Denver
Baltimore over San Francisco
Chicago over Green Bay
Dallas over Buffalo

Bird's Picks:

New England over Cleveland (ah, what?)

St. Louis over Arizona

Baltimore over San Francisco

Green Bay over Chicago

Houston over Miami

Indianapolis over Tampa Bay

New Orleans over Carolina

New York Giants over New York Jets

Pittsburgh over Seattle

Tennessee over Atlanta

Washington over Detriot

Dallas over Buffalo

San Diego over Denver

Jacksonville over KC

What's Festering in Troy's Hair?

MUTM Posts article on Steel Skins after winning weekly Pick'em, we've also posted it here:

I am fulfilling my right of writing anything I want on this website after an impressive pick’em victory by Metcalfupthemiddle. While I know that this site is dedicated to both the Redskins and the Steelers, it is the latter that I will choose to discuss today. Last Sunday we got our second division win (your welcome) over the Ravens, whom we all can agree are the medical equivalent of an ingrown hair. Brian Billick brings out rage in me that has not been seen since Michael J. Fox was fighting for the loose ball in Teen Wolf. Anyways, the Browns are getting there act together after our game one beating, and I have a few reasons why I think the Browns will beat the Steelers when we play again Sunday, November 11th in lovely Hines Field.

-- Odds are there will be a terrible team wide outbreak of some disease due to the varieties of parasites living in the combination of Ben Rothlesberger's beard and Troy Polamalu's hair.

-- Mike Tomlin makes the mistake of betting on the game with Romeo Crennel. The prize, a pizza. Romeo's not losing that bet.

-- After some long negotiations Bill Cower returns to the Browns coaching staff as Special Teams Coach under Marty Shottenheimer who is hired as Head Coach again after Romeo Crennel dies of a heart attack after a 5th straight win leading into the Steelers game. There first order of business is to hire Bernie Kosar as QB Coach and Bob Golic gives up his acting career to coach to defense. Oh yeah, and we resign Eric Metcalf for punt returns only.

-- We have Kellen Winslow.

-- Ben Rothlesberger has a 14-37 day with 3 picks as he can't concentrate because he is blinded by the beauty of our backup QB, Brady Quinn.

-- We no longer have Tim Couch, or Ty Detmer, or Spergon Wynn, or Doug Peterson, or Jeff Garcia, or Trent Dilfer, or Kelly Holcomb (actually he had a pretty good game against you guys in Hines field in 2002), or Charlie Frye.

--We have Braylon Edwards.

Good Luck, well see you in November!

Go Skins!

-Bird

Derek Anderson is Do'in it!

DA is running this offense pretty damn well folks, and we here at MUTM are loving it! We're actually scoring. Last year the Browns ranked 30th in the NFL with 14.9 pts/game. This year, through 4 games the Browns rank 6th in the league in pts/game with 27.2. And don't forget that that includes the 34 - 7 drubbing by the Steelers in week 1. So needless to say, Anderson, Chud, Braylon, K2, J Lew, and JJ are doing something right. It's nice to see. Like most Browns fans though, I'm waiting to wake from this dream.

Speaking of dreams...the return of Ryan Tucker is fantastic. Just the added depth he brings is invaluable, and we're going to need it after this weekend when we face the Patriots.

Speaking of the Patriots, Bird and I will be heading out to Foxboro, (I mean Gillette) for the Browns - Patriots game this Sunday. I'll be wearing my Quinn jersey and I can guaran-damn-tee you that Bird will be wearing his as well. It should be interesting to see the reactions. I also have this slight feeling that we might surprise the Pats on Sunday. Having beaten the bag out of everyone they've faced so far this year, and coming off of a short week, maybe the Pats will underestimate the Browns and also be touch tired. Sounds like the makings of an upset. That's what the little voice deep inside me says anyway. Most of the stuff that voice says can't be written here to begin with, so I'm not really sure where that puts me...but I'm going with it!

Inneresting Week for Picks in the NFL

Wow, what a weekend. Although at this point in the season it's hard to call anything an upset, I was really amazed how many games didn't go the way most people expected. Accordingly our picks for the week were abysmal! Bird was the Norv Turner of weekly predictors this week, but I have faith that after some up-and-close time with the Brownies this weekend at Gillette Stadium, he'll get his swagger back! But as luck would have it, the Steel Skins weren't able to rouse their third member, and three always beats two. (except when that hot chick from Hero's turns into her nasty evil alter-ego.) Anyway here are our results for the week and for the season so far.

Maxx
Week 4: 7-7
Overall Record: 17-13

Top Dawg
Week 4: 6-8
Overall Record: 14-16

Bird
Week 4: 5-9
Overall Record: 13-17

TEAM MUTM: 44-46

Beating a Dead Horse

For three weeks in a row I've heard Romeo Crennel say in press conferences something to the effect of: "some people weren't' where they needed to be on defence, and that's something we need to work on in practice this week." What? I appreciate that each week you see an offensive scheme that is slightly different, but I'm still wondering why, in the 3rd year of this 3-4 with better talent, we're still having so much trouble. Tell me it's in-experience or injuries, but don't tell me they don't know where to line up. If that's still a problem 3 years into a system, there's a problem with one of two things: 1. The coaches don't do a good job teaching the system. 2. The players we've drafted aren't smart enough to learn the system. Maybe it's a combination of both, but I have a feeling it's a lot more of reason #1 than #2. Let's see if practice helped this week, cause we're going to need to stop Baltimore and keep them out of the endzone, because you know we're going to have trouble getting points on the board this week. I'm still taking Cleveland though, 17-16.

Week 4 Picks v. SteelSkins

Well, we were slightly humbled last week by the Steel Skins 28 wins to 26. So we decided to switch strategies this week. No more dart boards and blindfolds involved. This week it's for real. So while we're still awaiting the Steel Skins article they get to post, here are our picks for this week. GO BROWNS!

Top Dawg's Picks
Cleveland over Baltimore
Minnesota over Green Bay
Houston over Atlanta
New York Jets over Buffalo
Dallas over St. Louis
Chicago over Detroit
Miami over Oakland
Seattle over San Francisco
Tampa Bay over Carolina
Pittsburgh over Arizona
San Diego over KC
Indianapolis over Denver
Philadelphia over New York Giants
New England over Cincinnati

Overall Record: 8-8

Bird's Picks
New York Jets over Buffalo
Dallas over St. Louis
Chicago over Detroit
Miami over Oakland
Houston over Atlanta
Minnesota over Green Bay
Cleveland over Baltimore
Seattle over San Francisco
Carolina over Tampa Bay
Indianapolis over Denver
San Diego over Kansas City
Pittsburgh over Arizona
Philadelphia over New York Giants
New England over Cincinnati

Overall Record: 8-8

Maxx's Picks
Houston over Atlanta
New York Jets over Buffalo
Cleveland over Baltimore
Dallas over St. Louis
Chicago over Detroit
Miami over Oakland
Green Bay over Minnesota
Tampa Bay over Carolina
Seattle over San Francisco
Pittsburgh over Arizona
Indianapolis over Denver
San Diego over Kansas City
Philadelphia over New York Giants
New England over Cincinnati

Overall Record: 10-6

Steel Skins Wins First Weekly Pick'em

We're sad to say that MUTM lost the first weekly pick'em competition against the Steel Skins. It was extremely close though. (The Browns killed us!) Look for an article penned by the Steel Skins to be posted on MUTM this week. And next week we won't let our wives make our picks! Check out the scores below.

Team MUTM
Maxx - 10-6
Top Dawg - 8-8
Bird - 8-8
TOTAL - 26-22

Team Steal Skins
Aaron - 12-4
Sean - 10-6
Boss Hog - 6-10
TOTAL - 28-20

Oh Boy...

I tried to write something positive and clever, but this just sucks. A blocked field goal? Are you f'ing kidding me? Dawson nails that 99 times out of 100. Just f'ing block. Just block. Please...just...block...

Time to go to bed and build up my optimism for next weekend...

It's On!

We at MUTM were happy to accept a challenge from another blog called Steel Skins for a weekly Pick'em competition. We're going to post our picks for each game, each week before the first game of the week, add up our wins and losses, and then the blog with the best record wins for that week.

There is one major rule: picks must be made completely independently, so that you can't rig it to cover each game (for instance, if all three guys want to pick the Giants over Skins, you can't collude and decide that one guy should pick the Skins, to cover yourself.)

The winner then gets to post an article on the others blog about whatever they please. If you've visited Steel Skins, you'd see that it's a pretty big Steelers site, so we're excited about the possibility of some good ol'smack talkin. Our picks for the week are coming soon, and we apologize for the formatting, but the monkey that puts this site together can't seem to figure out how to post them any better. No food for him this week.

Week 3 Picks from Team MUTM

We've gladly accepted the challenge from Steel Skins for a weekly Pick'em competition. How could we not, half their bloggers are from Pittsburgh, so this should be easy. In addition, when we win we get to post an article on their blog about anything we want. So we at MUTM see this as a great opportunity to spread the good word about the Browns, and all things Cleveland! Peep our Week 3 picks below.

Maxx's Picks for Week 3

Cleveland over Oakland
Baltimore over Arizona
San Diego over Green Bay
Indianapolis over Houston
Minnesota over KC
New England over Buffalo
New York Jets over Miami
Philadelphia over Detroit
Pittsburgh over San Francisco
Tampa Bay over St. Louis
Denver over Jacksonville
Seattle over Cincinnati
Carolina over Atlanta
Washington over New York Giants
Dallas over Chicago
New Orleans over Tennessee

Top Dawg's Picks for Week 3

Cleveland over Oakland
Indianapolis over Houston
New England over Buffalo
Miami over New York Jets
Philadelphia over Detroit
Pittsburgh over San Francisco
St. Louis over Tampa Bay
San Diego over Green Bay
Baltimore over Arizona
Kansas City over Minnesota
Cincinnati over Seattle
Denver over Jacksonville
Carolina over Atlanta
Washington over New York Giants
Dallas over Chicago
New Orleans over Tennessee

Bird's Picks for Week 3

Cleveland over Oakland
Indianapolis over Houston
New England over Buffalo
New York Jets over Miami
Detroit over Philadelphia
Pittsburgh over San Francisco
St. Louis over Tamp Bay
San Diego over Green Bay
Baltimore over Arizona
Minnesota over Kansas City
Cincinnati over Seattle
Denver over Jacksonville
Carolina over Atlanta
New York Giants over Washington
Chicago over Dallas
Tennessee over New Orleans

IT'S MORNING IN CLEVELAND

While we here at MUTM normally stick to the greatest sport in the land, circumstances sometimes call for us to branch out and comment on the general Cleveland sports scene. So here goes...

Two words, Cleveland....ENJOY THIS!

We've all been conditioned to expect the worst when it comes to our teams. This has been ingrained in us through numerous heartbreaks, so it is not surprising. Last week, when the Browns were only able to muster a field goal to go up 51-38, how many of you had the first thought "uh oh. i see a 52-51 loss coming?" The answer, if you grew up in Cleveland or spent any amount of time following Cleveland teams, is all of you did. Of course you did. We've come to expect not just losing, but agony and heartbreak in ways that sound too ridiculous to believe. I don't need to recount them here, as I'm sure all of those wonderful moments will be played ad nauseam during the upcoming Tribe playoff run.

The point is...look around you. We are in the midst of Cleveland sports utopia. The Cavs reached the finals and the best player on the court during our playoff series was actually on OUR team. Not only that, but he is from just down the road! Now, rooting extra hard for Joe Jurevicius because he's a local kid done good is one thing, but when you have the local guy who is also the supreme talent in the game? Well you put in a bottle and you got something sweeter than Yoohoo.

And how about the Tribe? In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance, you haven't, the Tribe has managed to win a couple here and there...OK, the attendance has actually gotten better. This team is playing inspired baseball right now. They are an absolute pleasure to watch and genuinely seem to enjoy each other (the pie in the face thing is a little cheesy, but the fact that they play Nintendo RBI baseball in the locker room before games is outstanding). They've taken care of Detroit, and now as we look forward to the playoffs, we are the proverbial "team no one wants to play." Is there an easy out in our lineup? Is there a better 1-2 starting combination than CC and Fausto? Does anyone have better set-up men than "The Dueling Rafaels?" What's my record for most consecutive rhetorical questions asked?

Even our beloved Brownies, after starting out the season in typical fashion, came back last week and showed us what this team could be. MUTM has been in the Braylon Edwards camp from the beginning and last week he showed the talent and determination to be a top 10 receiver in the league. K2 is a stud, as well. Most importantly, the offensive line looked not good, but great. The holes were there, the QB stayed clean. Pencil Thomas and Steinbach into the left side of our O-Line for the next five years at least. The defense has a little work to do, and I expect them to look much better this weekend.

The point is, there's lots to be happy about. Heck, even my fantasy team looks strong. So enjoy it Cleveland. Get over your ingrained assumption that something bad is going to happen. John Elway is not walking through that door, Michael Jordan is not walking through that door, Jose Mesa is playing in the Mexican League with Jake Taylor, I think.

Check Out "O Romeo, Romeo!"

On the left hand side of this blog, check out our new section, "O Romeo, Romeo!" Here we'll post great qoutes from Cleveland Browns Head Coach Romeo Crennel!

WOW! BROWNS WIN 51 - 45!

WOW! That's all I can say! Jamal is legit! Kellen doesn't drop the ball, and man, DA can throw! More later...

Here We Go!

Well at least now I know what to expect, which is nothing. Boy, for a minute there I had some hope for this season, and it took all of 20 minutes for the Browns to stab that hope to death with a butter knife. Well it's good and dead now!

I wrote about 8-8 being our Super Bowl last week, and now I'm not sure if that's even realistic. .500 and this Browns team my pass like two strangers in the night.

The only think I'm excited about tomorrow is to see how badly we are prepared for this game. How many asinine coaching decisions Romeo will make. I can't get over the fact that the talent has improved, but we are continually useless on the field. On Cleveland.com they were predicting the Browns losing to the Bengals (they must be clairvoyant!). But my problem is that they were also thinking the Browns were going to score...now that's just plain crazy talk. We'll score 10 points or less this week, Quinn will start next week, and we'll be on our way to ruining another QB! Joy! Well at least we've got the guy who LOST the QB competition starting for us!

But the Browns fan in me, is secretly hoping this phrase is true: "You're never quite as bad as you look, and you're never quite as good as you look." Let's just hope the Browns aren't as bad as they looked last week...

Belichick Still Screwing the Browns

Were you surprised? I was.

As much as Bill Belichick stunk as the coach of the Browns, as much as he had ripped out the heart of the franchise by cutting Bernie Kosar when the backup plan was Todd Philcox (Gesundheit), I had come to begrudgingly respect the coaching abilities of this man. He was, without question, an evil genius and the best coach in the NFL. Furthermore, at least the damage he did to Cleveland was already done. Like Ike Turner in prison, he couldn't hurt us anymore (other than the occasional times when the Patriots played our squad). We were safe from him forever.

But now he has been exposed as a cheater. Despite the non-apology (apologizing for a "mis-interpretation of the rule" is the same as saying "if anyone was offended, I apologize", which basically means "I think you are an idiot, but my agent made me say this"), this story is likely to have legs. Who knows how long this has been going on? Rumors that he employed the same tactics while coach of the Browns are pretty funny. We're apparently not even good at cheating. But it is not too big of a leap to see that Belichick, from all the way on the East Coast, is still screwing the Browns. Follow my logic here. If the Patriots have been stealing defensive signals, it is not too much of a leap to conclude that they were stealing offensive signals from the other team as well. This led to three (now tainted) Super Bowl titles and a dominating defense, which in turn led to the hot candidacy of a certain "jolly" defensive coordinator. Thus, we got a coach who, after a full off-season of workouts, OTAs and Training Camp practices, flipped a coin to decide the starter at quarterback for the first pre-season game, and then TOLD THE MEDIA ABOUT IT! Being stupid is one thing. Letting everyone else know that you are stupid is entirely another. And we sink further into the abyss...

So you see, once again, the world is aligned against the Browns and the Dr. Evil of the NFL has continued to pull the strings which continue to keep the franchise down. Can I prove any of this? Of course not, but can you disprove it?

One other interesting tidbit from today. The Forbes annual survey of franchise value came out. The last paragraph notes that "The Cleveland Browns were the only franchise whose value decreased. They rank ninth at $969 million, down from $970 million." Sounds about right...

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/nfl/09/13/franchise.values.ap/index.html

You Can't Say we Dont Care

On the day the Browns shipped Charlie Frye to Seattle, an unprecedented number of users were on the message boards bitching, ranting, raving (about Brady Quinn only), and poking fun at an ailing franchise. You can say what you want about Browns fans, (trash, dreamers, circus freaks, losers, etc.) but you can't say we don't care about our team. At some point in the evening, there were close to 2000 users in the water cooler of berniesinsiders.com. There was some memorable chatter including next years head coach, Romeo's IQ and weight, suicide notes, etc. The funniest of the bunch was a list of movie quotes with Browns anecdotes filled in. Here are some of the good ones:

"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this pathetic, losing Cleveland Browns team. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm fan emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest season since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny ******* Kaye. And when Romeo Crennel squeezes his fat ass down that CBS corridor next Sunday afternoon, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. "

"I think you're all f***ed in the head. We're 6 days from the fing Bengals game and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer just being a fan. It's a quest. It's a quest for wins. I'm gonna win and you're gonna win. We're all gonna have so many fing wins we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Cleveland Rocks' out of you're a-holes! Ahh. ha. ha. ha. I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see an elf. Praise the Brownie elf! Holy Sh*t!"

"Charlie, you're nothing to me now. You're not a quarterback, you're not a clipboard holder. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the stadium, I don't want you near my practice facility. When you see our coach, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?"

"Worse, How the hell can it get any worse. Look around you, We're at the threshold of hell."

"Caddyshack"
Cower: Whats your Record? (What did you shoot?-Smails)
Romeo: I don't coach for wins (I don't keep score-Tie Webb)
Cower: How do you measure yourself against other coaches?(How do you measure yourself against other golfers?-smails)
Romeo: By Weight(By Height-Tie Webb)"

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."Airplane

God I Love Browns Fans

Hmm...

Vs.

FRYE TRADED TO SEATTLE!

Just 48hrs after starting the season opener for the Cleveland Browns, Charlie Frye is no longer on the team. He was traded today to the Seattle Seahawks to be one of their back-up QB's. The Browns received a 6th round draft pick for Frye. Not a good return for a former 3rd rounder.

http://www.profootballtalk.com/rumormill.htm

or

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7214446

Frye To Be Traded? Cut? Dorsey Back?

My how things change! Check out the Rumor Mill on PFT.

http://www.profootballtalk.com/rumormill.htm

or WTAM.com

http://www.wtam.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=122520&article=2624000

Browns Steelers

I have nothing to say. I don't want to talk or think about it.
Please don't call me, email me, or text me. leave me alone. If you need to get in touch with me, come find me. Best place to start looking is the bottom of a very large bottle of Jose Cuervo.

Tonight Is Our Christmas Eve, 8-8 Is Our Super Bowl

I'm almost 30. As in like, 47 days away. And over the past few months, as I've watched my birthday creep up, I've been thinking a lot about my life, and what I'm doing with it. Is my job fulfilling? Do I need to make more money? Is my 401k properly distributed between stocks and bonds? But for the first time, in a long time, (well since last year I guess) I've forgotten about all the pressures of my career (if you can call it that), family, and my future, and I've been swept up by the optimism of a new season for the Cleveland Browns. Sad maybe, or pathetic, I'm not sure. But I do know it's true.

When I was little, on Christmas Eve I used to want to go to bed as fast as possible so that tomorrow would come and I could run downstairs and open up my gifts! I feel that way right now (with a little less innocence, and about 7 drinks thrown in...) and it's a nice feeling. To start anew, with eternal optimism and hope for nothing but the best, are some of the best characteristics that make us human. But they're also some of the wonderful feelings that we get from sports. We've all read the articles about the draw of sports to the average man, and these traits I guess, are what draw me.

Listening to Phil Savage's presser from a week ago, you'd think that this team is really competitive. The scary part is that I believe him. I think we are competitive. We've got some real talent here now. Our LB's are legit. Our receivers are pretty damn good. Our O-Line seems to be pretty solid. K2 is nasty. And hopefully, with some luck, and not too many injuries, we might win our fair share of games.

8 games is all I'm asking for. I want to run downstairs and open up a box of 8 wins this Christmas. That's it. Just give me .500 and we might as well have won the Super Bowl as far as I'm concerned.

And so tomorrow, as the saying goes, "we're all undefeated". And hope springs eternal. And if a dandelion were hard to grow it would be most welcome in any garden. (not sure where that came from) And I'm excited! So I'm off to bed to wake up tomorrow and put on my Quinn jersey! In Romeo We Trust...

Thoughts on Final Cuts, the QB Situation and Bernie Kosar

*Each time I listen to Bernie Kosar open his mouth, I die a little inside. I mean sure, he has some good insights and really knows defenses. I think he'd make a good offensive coordinator (though it's pretty clear his team would thrown 99% of the time). But either he has a real problem or he's pulling a Harry Doyle and keeping a nipper of Jack Daniels up there in the broadcast booth with him.

*No real surprises among final cuts. Derek Anderson made it for now and would likely step in if Charlie Frye gets injured in Week 1 and is out for awhile. Otherwise, he will get the most coveted job in sports...the 3rd QB. This is a pretty good life.

*Cutting Melila "Manu Manu the Slender" Purcell is disappointing, though not surprising, considering that Bird couldn't find him listed in any draft guide. My guess is that he'll end up on the practice squad. Chase Pittman and his hair were also let go. Pittman may end up on the practice squad, or he may end up in a boy band.

*Kudos to Kris Griffin for apparently making the team. He has become a fast favorite among those of us here at Metcalf up the Middle.

*Brady Quinn makes me feel giddy. He goes through his reads quickly and makes smart decisions with the football. We all remember Tim Couch dinking and dunking his way downfield, but he always appeared to use those outlets because he was panicked. Quinn calmly goes through his progressions quickly and seems to make the right reads most of the time. However....

*Charlie Frye starting game 1 is the right move. Charlie has some mobility and hasn't been terrible during preseason (Derek Anderson has). We play Pittsburgh, Baltimore and New England in the early weeks. No use throwing Brady to those wolves. If Frye succeeds against those teams, great. If not, look for Brady to start after the bye week.

*Look for the Browns to take a flyer on defensive end Bobby Hamilton, long-time Crennel protege in the 3-4, who was recently cut by the Jets. Seth Payne who went to Cornell (ever heard of it?) and sang in the group Here Comes Treble with Dunder Mifflin's own Andy Bernard, may also provide some help.

* One week until the bullets start flying for reals. Get your jersey out of storage (who am I kidding...you've been wearing it all year. Brown and orange looks good with everything).

Separated at Birth?

Willie McGinest and Lennie James from the show Jericho...separated at birth?

Browns Broncos Update

Separated at birth 1. Simon Fraser and Mad Dog Bob Golic

Separated At Birth 2 Leon Williams and the Predator

After the disgrace that was the Lions game last week, the Browns came out and solidified the team in a great effort against the Broncos. Here are some thoughts.

• Welcome to the season Joe Jurevicious. A virtual apparition so far throughout training camp and week 2, JJ showed up with some nice routes, good hands, and an almost perfect TD hookup with Brady Quinn (who I will discuss later).


• Amon Gordon is a starter in Denver. How many Browns can fill the Bronco D line. I bet their just salivating over the thought of Alvin McKinley as a FA. Oh wait, they already signed him. Next year we could see the dynamic duo of Simon Fraser and Babatunde Oshinowo in Bronco uniforms. Where is Mike Myers(cincy). He would be a much better DE that the fat Smith. Shawn Smith at DE has been a disappointment so far. He has been lost and has not made an impact. Although with Orpheus on the mend, he is better than the alternatives, i.e. Simon Fraser (aka poor mans Bob Golic).


• On the opening drive I noticed a few keys that I am very optimistic about. 1. The pass protection looks great. 2. With that being said, went it broke down, it is still nice to have the legs and athleticism of Charlie Frye.3. No more stupid penalties in the red zone. 4. Jamal Lewis is awesome running behind the left side of our line.


• If we can't get pressure on the QB, our zone is holier than the Pope. Our LB's don't drop far enough, and our CB's leave too much cushion. We can't keep giving up 3rd and 12's and hope to win.


• Braylon looks like a new player this year. He is a bona fide superstar this year.


• D'Qwell Jackson was an absolute animal this game. He is consistently around the ball, but tonight he came with authority. He played like a beast, and I hope to see it continue. His partner Leon "The Predator" Williams was solid again against the run, but he needs to get back in those aforementioned zone defensive schemes. We just can't give up those 30 Yard chunks on drag routes.


• In the roster battle between Chaun Thompson and David McMillan, CT found himself a spot in the game. He was in another gear tonight, chasing down QB's running backs, and being a stud on special teams. Kris Griffin also should earn a spot over Mason Unk, Clifton Smith, and Jason Short. He has been a sure tackler and is a special teams star.


• Our Defense is now littered with play-makers on the ends, the middle, and in the secondary.


• Brady Quinn instills confidence in me. He has command out there. Even his dump off passes came after he went through his progressions, and then he zipped it to the back. I really think he is going to be great for us. That being said, I think we wait to start him until after the bye week week 7. Let Frye take the beatings from Pittsburgh, NE , and Baltimore. If we can sneak out some wins, Quinn can emerge for the second half of the season with an easier looking schedule.


• Kenny Wright made some nice plays. I didn't think much of the signing in the off season, but the more I watched him, the more I think he can give us much needed depth at CB.


• Overall, a solid performance by the first teamers against a good team. Our offense was rhythmic and dominating. Our Defense was solid, but never was able to deliver the knock out punch. If they can figure out how to get off of the field on third down, we should look good.

Browns v. Lions Recap

The story, of course, is Brady Quinn coming in and leading two Browns drives for touchdowns. However, the rest of the Browns inadequacies need to be discussed as well. Here are some thoughts:

• The Viva Viagra commercial played 17 times during the game. If I am ever 40 years old and in a band singing about hurrying home to tap my wife.... kill me. I had nightmares about that advertisement. "This lonesome toad is sick of the road.... I can't wait to get home"...the bassist (awful).


• Bernie Kosar should be a coach. He recognizes defenses, and play calls before they happen. Our own coaches and players don't see them as well as he does. He seems to know before a play happens whether it will be successful or not. I feel like Payton Manning has that same diagnosis ability, and he has the ability to change plays to avoid the ones that are doomed from the start. Wish our QB's could do the same.


• On another note, Bernie was hilarious tonight. He had classic lines including, "Teddy Washington is 2 frosties short of 400 lbs." When referring to Lions DE Francis with the Hawaiian first name, he said," I have less than a zero percent chance of getting that right." He also claimed that he was not nearly the athlete that Leigh Bodden is. Good call Bernie.


• Jamal Lewis is going to have 1200 yards and 10-15 TD's if he is healthy. I love watching him crack skulls with defenders. DB's get out of his way. (recall Earl Little)


• DA has a great arm. That being said, he cannot manage an offense. He made great throws to Braylon, but his debacle from the one, was the worst Browns offensive display since a Doug Peterson led a Browns series. Timeout, false start, delay of game, timeout, interception. Wow.


• Braylon is gonna be great this year. He is gliding out there. Great block too. I am concerned that JJ is so lost. We need more production from another wideout. JJ hasn't been involved in the offense at all so far.



• Wimbley and Peek are as formidable a duo as Davey Boy and dynamite of the British Bulldogs. Wimbley is in the backfield on every play, and Peek mops up the messes he creates.

  

• Leon Williams and D'Quell Jackson are more like Jim and Bret Hart of the Hart Foundation. They are not quite as good, but they are showing some great promise on the inside.


• The Browns Defense is much better when Simon Fraser is not on the field. Every long run occurred up his hole. With the Smith's on the field and Teddy in the middle, the run defense was much better.


• Mike Adams got his ass handed to him by TJ Duckett. BTW is Duckett gonna make the Lions. I wouldn't mind him as a second back.

• Travis Wilson needs to take the reigns on the number three position at WR. He has the talent and the ability to get open. He needs to relax and play like he can. He can be our number two receiver by the end of the year.


• The amount of false starts by the Browns was tragic.


• After 3 straight unsuccessful fade routs thrown by Dorsey, how about a fade stop. Always worked in flag football.


• Jerome Perry should no longer be on the team. He was so abused today. The end of the first half showed how bad he actually is.


• Chaun Thompson actually showed some speed. He made some nice plays. Got blown up on the Duckett touchdown, but he was getting nice pressure on the QB in the second half.


• Isaac Sowells showed why he was a fourth round selection. He was a beast on the screens, and played tough all night. I think he makes the team over Hoffman, Matua, and Rob Smith.


• Brady Quinn looked fantastic. Many will say it was a prevent defense against sub par talent. That is true, but the decisions he was making were very encouraging. He moved through his progressions quickly, and made the smart decisions. He has command out there. When you watch Frye and Anderson, there are some management issues that Quinn doesn't seem to have. He didn't have to look to the sidelines to find out whether or not to spike it. He took what the defense allowed, and made solid throws. I was very encouraged by his performance.


• All in all, the game was not good for the Browns. False starts, poor timeouts, turnovers, and awful red zone play again all led to being beaten by the Lions. They had 3 wins last year. Not good for us.

Brady Quinn Debut

For those who didn't get to see the game yet, here are the BQ highlights.
I will have more thoughts after I get to watch the replay tonight on NFL network.
http://www.nfl.com/videos?videoId=09000d5d80196b4f

Pre Season Browns Chiefs Thoughts

• By the way.. is that guy wearing a Clifton Smith, Kevin Bentley, or a Mike Johnson throw back jersey. Notice the WR gloves.. nice touch
• My thoughts............
• Bernie Kosar sounds like a muppet


• Antwaan Peak is gonna be a huge addition to Kam Wimbley. They both got solid pressure. Take your time to heal Willie McG.


• Eric Wright is an athlete. His play on the deep ball was sweet, and he showed some solid tackling technique


• B. Pool fills the holes nicely


• Mike Adams really gets down field as the gunner. He better hope he makes some plays on ST's because with Baxter probably making the roster as a safety, he won't catch on there.


• Jamal Lewis makes me confident. He is the first Browns back ot break tackles in a while.


• On the other hand J wright goes down too easily. I would like to see more of the Ghost and Chris Barclay. Did he get through the hole on that touchdown return or what. He showed some serious wheels. Lets give him some more carries


• Joe Thomas looks like the real deal. Yes he was penalized twice, but he shows amazing ability to to keep blocks going with his athleticism. He manhandled his defender on that DA 11 yard run. He recovers quickly from being in bad position too. Feels good to know he is going to be here awhile


• McKinney and Fraley looked great on the long run by Lewis and the screen pass to Wright. They were both downfield creating some of the bigger holes weve seen in over 15 years.


• Vickers must have something on the coaches. We really trust him in big play situations.


• DA looks skittish. His throws were badly off mark.


• Frye looked a little wobbly on a few balls, but also zipped one in to Steptoe. He showed good game control until his Akron education caught up to him at the end of the first half. Taking that sack is unfathonable. He is just not that smart.


• McMillan is a training camp hero. He made lots of plays.


• If Travis Wilson can hold on to the ball, he is gonna be greeat. He is a big target, a beast when he gets the ball, and always seems to be open. If it wrere up to me the Depth chart at WR would look like this. BE, JJ, Tim Carter (MIA tonight), Travis Wilson, Josh Cribbs, Syndric Steptoe, Kendrick Mosely, Buck Ortega (greatest name ever.... has a career in porn with a name like that once he gets cut)


• Leon Williams can get to the QB...Id like to see him at OLB a little more


• Steptoe is no Northcutt at returning punts or being a shifty receiver. MacDonald has to fair catch that ball on the 11. Stupid play.


• Does U of Nebraska Omaha TE Krausse remind you of Omaha Beef TE Chad Mustard. I think so. He looked better that Darnell Dinkins tonight.


• Harrisson is learning to pick up blocks.


• OG Fred Mutua looks like a warrior, and he played with a tremendous motor today.


• Kris Griffin, from KC, looked really solid. He got to the ball against second team talent, but his play overshadowed 5th year idiot Chaun Thompson. I think after 4 years we can stop calling him a project... maybe we will call him unemployed soon.


• Ken Dorsey is about as exciting as a plain piece of toast.


• Jeremy Laseur may find his way back into the mix with some nice plays. He was better than Jerome Perry tonight.


• Bottom line, our offense has to get better. Too inconsistent. I am excited to see #10 next week. Go Browns
• "Run Barclay Run" A win at home is big in Cleveland, even if its preseason

GET IN CAMP

4 reasons Brady Quinn needs to regain my love.

1. He spent the off-season taking pictures of himself in some of the gayest situations possible. His friends must be idiots or tools for allowing pictures of BQ grabbing crotches, posing with no shirt on the cover of Men's Health, or rear ending rock stars. Although they are ND students, so if you have met any like I have in Chicago, you would understand. Just terrible dorks.

2. On draft day, the player we chose over Quinn was out fishing with dad. Brady Quinn on the other hand looked like he had a stylist pick out his clothes, do his hair and makeup, and even got him a girl for his arm so he didn't look so gay. In contrast, Thomas has an aunt who comes to every training camp practice with an orange mohawk and 50+ tattoos. Which player do you think will endear themselves to Clevelanders.

3. We went out on a limb to draft him. As draft day went on, and Brady looked more and more pathetic, the Browns took a huge gamble giving up a probable early 1st rounder to bring him to the team he wanted to be. Brady Quinn was drafted 22nd and wants top 10 money. Sorry, Mr. Condon, but we did your client a favor. Try getting top 10 money from the team that selected him 25. Quit jerking us around.

4. He can start. Lumbering Derrick Anderson and jittery Charlie Frye are in a battle for who is the worst starting quarterback in the league. If Quinn stepped in (and snuffleupegus Charlie Weiss isn't full of shit about BQ being so NFL ready) and showed us anything , he could lead a new offense with healthy talent both at skill positions and the o line. Get your ass, and abs, and sweet hair in camp.

Bentley Is The Real Deal

LeCharles Bentley is the real deal. If you haven't seen it, check out this article on him from the Plain Dealer. I'm truly amazed at his recovery and work ethic, and can't beleive that he had two seperate stays in the Cleveland Clinic of 30 days. That's incredible. What a nightmare year this guy has had, and he's still sounding up-beat. I really hope he's able to play a little bit, and that those knee doesn't fail him again.

Lets Go Cavs. How much do you want the James Gang T Shirt

Look at My Boobie

The Cavs win. As much fun as the celebration was last evening after LeBron and the Cavs completed a four game series win over the cry baby Pistons, we still have one more series. It would appear from the celebration that the Cavs and the fans (myself included) partied like we won the whole thing. From how I am feeling right now, I can't imagine the hangover after an actual championship. After watching young Boobie Gibson splashing threes for a huge fourth quarter, there were many man hugs between my good friend and I. However, as Cleveland fans, we waited until the actual buzzer to actually feel like the game was ours. We were not in Cleveland unfortunately where the party must have been awesome. I can just imagine the treats hanging out at the Blind Pig. How many girls got laid last night in their LeBron Jerseys? We happened to be in the heart of Red Sox nation in a bar playing techno while we were watching the game. How did we celebrate? Bottle of Champagne at the bar (after numerous Coors Lights with a lime (a la MFH) and victory shots and Jagger Bombs. It was quite a scene. A bunch of Massholes grinding behind us while we were toasting and hugging and swilling Champagne. The hot bartenders were puzzled as we literally were waving goodbye to the TV as the big baby Rasheed was ejected. All I can say is I think in our bar in Boston, we celebrated like we were sitting court-side at the Q. I think we did Cleveland proud, and I'm sure Cleveland fans across the world did likewise. As fun as last night was, it all means nothing without 4 more wins. Lets go Cavs.

Add Your Best Caption to this Picture..speaks for itself

"Anybody know where my legs went?"

"Come back here and I'll gum you to death!"

Edwards Puts His Money Where His Mouth Is

Braylon Edwards has gotten some great press lately. Sadly, it's all been off the field. But in a league where not getting arrested is practically grounds for commendation, Edwards' off-the-field endeavors are practically grounds for sainthood.

Edwards recently pledged $1 million to help fund scholarships for kids in the Cleveland Municipal School District. (Edwards Article)

I think it's refreshing to see someone in the NFL doing some good. I know Edwards isn't the only one donating money, time, and notoriety to good causes in the NFL, but it seems to be something very near to his heart, and there's a real urgency to help others. In short I think Edwards will follow his financial gift with time and care, and see that his foundation really does some good for underprivileged Cleveland kids.

Now lets hope he continues to bring that drive, care, and commitment to playing wide receiver for the Browns. Less drops, and more plays like the one pictured above. So, well done Braylon, you put your money where your mouth is off the field, now let's have you do it on the field as well.

PS - If you haven't checked out Braylon's website, do yourself a favor and click here! It's ridiculous...in a good way...I think.

Don't know if I should look

You know when you are "researching" the internet, and something really vile pops up. Something with maybe some strange picture that you know should disgust you, but you have to look just to see if it is even possible.

..... Well, here is an example of on of those pictures. You know you want to puke, but there is something quite beautiful and intriguing about this really.