Friday, September 14, 2007

Belichick Still Screwing the Browns


Were you surprised? I was.

As much as Bill Belichick stunk as the coach of the Browns, as much as he had ripped out the heart of the franchise by cutting Bernie Kosar when the backup plan was Todd Philcox (Gesundheit), I had come to begrudgingly respect the coaching abilities of this man. He was, without question, an evil genius and the best coach in the NFL. Furthermore, at least the damage he did to Cleveland was already done. Like Ike Turner in prison, he couldn't hurt us anymore (other than the occasional times when the Patriots played our squad). We were safe from him forever.


But now he has been exposed as a cheater. Despite the non-apology (apologizing for a "mis-interpretation of the rule" is the same as saying "if anyone was offended, I apologize", which basically means "I think you are an idiot, but my agent made me say this"), this story is likely to have legs. Who knows how long this has been going on? Rumors that he employed the same tactics while coach of the Browns are pretty funny. We're apparently not even good at cheating. But it is not too big of a leap to see that Belichick, from all the way on the East Coast, is still screwing the Browns. Follow my logic here. If the Patriots have been stealing defensive signals, it is not too much of a leap to conclude that they were stealing offensive signals from the other team as well. This led to three (now tainted) Super Bowl titles and a dominating defense, which in turn led to the hot candidacy of a certain "jolly" defensive coordinator. Thus, we got a coach who, after a full off-season of workouts, OTAs and Training Camp practices, flipped a coin to decide the starter at quarterback for the first pre-season game, and then TOLD THE MEDIA ABOUT IT! Being stupid is one thing. Letting everyone else know that you are stupid is entirely another. And we sink further into the abyss...

So you see, once again, the world is aligned against the Browns and the Dr. Evil of the NFL has continued to pull the strings which continue to keep the franchise down. Can I prove any of this? Of course not, but can you disprove it?

One other interesting tidbit from today. The Forbes annual survey of franchise value came out. The last paragraph notes that "The Cleveland Browns were the only franchise whose value decreased. They rank ninth at $969 million, down from $970 million." Sounds about right...

1 comment:

AJOC said...

Great stuff. Did he really decide the QB by flipping a coin? I thought people were joking about that