Saturday, September 15, 2007

Here We Go!

Well at least now I know what to expect, which is nothing. Boy, for a minute there I had some hope for this season, and it took all of 20 minutes for the Browns to stab that hope to death with a butter knife. Well it's good and dead now!

I wrote about 8-8 being our Super Bowl last week, and now I'm not sure if that's even realistic. .500 and this Browns team my pass like two strangers in the night.

The only think I'm excited about tomorrow is to see how badly we are prepared for this game. How many asinine coaching decisions Romeo will make. I can't get over the fact that the talent has improved, but we are continually useless on the field. On they were predicting the Browns losing to the Bengals (they must be clairvoyant!). But my problem is that they were also thinking the Browns were going to that's just plain crazy talk. We'll score 10 points or less this week, Quinn will start next week, and we'll be on our way to ruining another QB! Joy! Well at least we've got the guy who LOST the QB competition starting for us!

But the Browns fan in me, is secretly hoping this phrase is true: "You're never quite as bad as you look, and you're never quite as good as you look." Let's just hope the Browns aren't as bad as they looked last week...

Friday, September 14, 2007

Belichick Still Screwing the Browns

Were you surprised? I was.

As much as Bill Belichick stunk as the coach of the Browns, as much as he had ripped out the heart of the franchise by cutting Bernie Kosar when the backup plan was Todd Philcox (Gesundheit), I had come to begrudgingly respect the coaching abilities of this man. He was, without question, an evil genius and the best coach in the NFL. Furthermore, at least the damage he did to Cleveland was already done. Like Ike Turner in prison, he couldn't hurt us anymore (other than the occasional times when the Patriots played our squad). We were safe from him forever.

But now he has been exposed as a cheater. Despite the non-apology (apologizing for a "mis-interpretation of the rule" is the same as saying "if anyone was offended, I apologize", which basically means "I think you are an idiot, but my agent made me say this"), this story is likely to have legs. Who knows how long this has been going on? Rumors that he employed the same tactics while coach of the Browns are pretty funny. We're apparently not even good at cheating. But it is not too big of a leap to see that Belichick, from all the way on the East Coast, is still screwing the Browns. Follow my logic here. If the Patriots have been stealing defensive signals, it is not too much of a leap to conclude that they were stealing offensive signals from the other team as well. This led to three (now tainted) Super Bowl titles and a dominating defense, which in turn led to the hot candidacy of a certain "jolly" defensive coordinator. Thus, we got a coach who, after a full off-season of workouts, OTAs and Training Camp practices, flipped a coin to decide the starter at quarterback for the first pre-season game, and then TOLD THE MEDIA ABOUT IT! Being stupid is one thing. Letting everyone else know that you are stupid is entirely another. And we sink further into the abyss...

So you see, once again, the world is aligned against the Browns and the Dr. Evil of the NFL has continued to pull the strings which continue to keep the franchise down. Can I prove any of this? Of course not, but can you disprove it?

One other interesting tidbit from today. The Forbes annual survey of franchise value came out. The last paragraph notes that "The Cleveland Browns were the only franchise whose value decreased. They rank ninth at $969 million, down from $970 million." Sounds about right...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

You Can't Say we Dont Care

On the day the Browns shipped Charlie Frye to Seattle, an unprecedented number of users were on the message boards bitching, ranting, raving (about Brady Quinn only), and poking fun at an ailing franchise. You can say what you want about Browns fans, (trash, dreamers, circus freaks, losers, etc.) but you can't say we don't care about our team. At some point in the evening, there were close to 2000 users in the water cooler of There was some memorable chatter including next years head coach, Romeo's IQ and weight, suicide notes, etc. The funniest of the bunch was a list of movie quotes with Browns anecdotes filled in. Here are some of the good ones:

"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this pathetic, losing Cleveland Browns team. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm fan emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest season since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny ******* Kaye. And when Romeo Crennel squeezes his fat ass down that CBS corridor next Sunday afternoon, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. "

"I think you're all f***ed in the head. We're 6 days from the fing Bengals game and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer just being a fan. It's a quest. It's a quest for wins. I'm gonna win and you're gonna win. We're all gonna have so many fing wins we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Cleveland Rocks' out of you're a-holes! Ahh. ha. ha. ha. I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see an elf. Praise the Brownie elf! Holy Sh*t!"

"Charlie, you're nothing to me now. You're not a quarterback, you're not a clipboard holder. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the stadium, I don't want you near my practice facility. When you see our coach, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?"

"Worse, How the hell can it get any worse. Look around you, We're at the threshold of hell."

Cower: Whats your Record? (What did you shoot?-Smails)
Romeo: I don't coach for wins (I don't keep score-Tie Webb)
Cower: How do you measure yourself against other coaches?(How do you measure yourself against other golfers?-smails)
Romeo: By Weight(By Height-Tie Webb)"

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."Airplane

God I Love Browns Fans



Tuesday, September 11, 2007


Just 48hrs after starting the season opener for the Cleveland Browns, Charlie Frye is no longer on the team. He was traded today to the Seattle Seahawks to be one of their back-up QB's. The Browns received a 6th round draft pick for Frye. Not a good return for a former 3rd rounder.

Frye To Be Traded? Cut? Dorsey Back?

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Browns Steelers

I have nothing to say. I don't want to talk or think about it.
Please don't call me, email me, or text me. leave me alone. If you need to get in touch with me, come find me. Best place to start looking is the bottom of a very large bottle of Jose Cuervo.