"Manny being a Douchebag"

Most Red Sox fans probably reveled in Manny Ramirez's pose last night and probably elbowed their buddy and said "That's just Manny being Manny". Like somehow, because he is stupid and aloof, his ridiculous behavior is somehow justified. To me, that was "Manny being a douchebag."

That's like watching a pedophile standing outside of a jungle gym, and excusing his behavior because, "That's just a pedophile being a pedophile." Or forgiving Edi Amin for all of the atrocities he was responsible for in Uganda. He was an eccentric character just like Manny. But hey, genocide was OK too because that was just "Edi being Edi."

Go Tribe

Team MUTM Individual Pick'em Scores Week 6

Maxx: 8-5
Overall Record: 36-21

Top Dawg: 6-7
Overall Record: 31-26

Bird: 7-6
Overall Record: 31-26

Team MUTM: 98-73

MUTM Loses Week 6 Pick'em

Team MUTM went 21-18 this past week, but it wasn't good enough to beat those sketchy "guys" over at Steel Skins who went 23-16 to take the win. (We caught a photo of one of them this weekend posted here)




Sadly, they've earned the write (oh the puns!) to post on MUTM, so here's their post:

Your team's name reminds us of our last bowel movement

I come not to praise Metcalf Up the Middle but to bury them. As the victors of the Week 6 pick em, I duly note that all of us at SteelSkins picked the Browns to win. And what's not to like about the Browns? Classy, retro uniforms with ugly colors perfectly suited to black and white television, a legacy of greatness that no one remembers because it was before the advent of marketing and the televised Super Bowl, a more recent legacy of gut-wrenching losses, like The Drive, The Fumble, and the 2002 Loss to the Steelers in the Playoffs Despite the Fact the Steelers Couldn't Cover a Tackle Eligible on a Fly Route, Plus We Had Tommy Maddox. I watched that game with 2 Browns fans and, to be honest, I felt a little bad as I repeatedly pelvic thrusted the sweet, sweet air of victory while screaming STEELTOWN FOREVER at the top of my lungs. Just a little. And how can we forget Art Modell's Fly By Night and Subsequent Super Bowl Win in Baltimore? Or the Saga of LeCharles Bentley?

The Browns are the girl from high school you swooned over until you forgot about her in college, and when you returned back to live in your small town 15 years later, you found out she had been left by 3 men who also left behind 3 kids. But she's doing her best, earning a promotion at the insurance company despite fending off the boss's advances, giving her kids the right values, and really proving that she's not the ditzy sophomore who spurned you for the Senior Jock so she could win homecoming queen. She's showing her resiliency, and while she's not the bloom on the high school rose, she's a real woman, and she's still got it, despite throwing on an extra 20 pounds (but you like the thickies, yo!). So you take her out to lunch, and man does she chow down, like a horse at a feedbag! It's captivating and sickening all at once…maybe you will make a go at her…But then you remember that you're already married, with bonds formed of STEEL.

Derek Anderson, you got to like this kid. Braylon and Winslow are shutting up and playing, Kamerion Wimbley is the real deal, and so might be Joe Thomas. But Jamal Lewis? Get rid of that guy.

I have no doubt that the Browns will give the Steelers a tougher game at Heinz Field, but it won't be as close as you think it will. Until next week!

Week 6 SteelSkins rankings:
Aaron: 7-6
Adam: 8-5
Sean: 8-5
Overall Score: 23-16

Straight from the rectum of: Aaron P. Diddy

Happy OctoberFest

So I was in Chicago this weekend for my annual Octoberfest Party. After passing out in full lederhosen with burrito cheese and lettuce stuck to my shirt (don’t remember stopping for food on the way home) I awoke for the showdown with the lowly Miami Dolphins. That damn central standard time gave me only a 6 minute window to get up and get ready for the game. I’m too old to be sleeping until 11:50 AM, but really how could I sleep after the Tribe game. I can honestly say I haven’t felt that hungover for a Browns game since two weeks ago for the Baltimore game after trying to party with Winthorpe, that playboy Todd, and some other Harvard kids.

Anyways, it is usually a good gauge as to how the Browns are playing by how quickly I turn back to the sauce when things start sucking. Well, the Browns quickly got out to a 24-3 lead and things were looking good, and my body was thanking me. All of a sudden, our defense allowed the highly tauted Miami offense led by Cleo MacDowell Lemon, whose buns have no seeds, march up and down the field and bring the game to a three point decision.

And so, I had to turn to my good friend who lives in a 12 ounce brown bottle for the rest of the game. The Browns, and the Miller Brewing company didn’t disappoint. We finally are winning games were supposed to and finishing off teams. 3-3 into the Bye week, and here are some thoughts on the game.

-Someone finally realized if you just throw the ball up high to Braylon Edwards, he is going to get most of the balls. He is playing awesome. Could he be the first Brown since Jamir Miller (Wow that’s sad) to visit Hawaii?

-I must admit, although DA throws the ball into coverage often, he does like to throw when defenders are turned around. And he has the gun to get it there before they get there heads back to the ball. He is really rolling right now. Remember Jeff Garcia's 0 quarterback rating in a game for the Browns. DA had a 150 yesterday. And DA likes woman.

-Watching Joey Porter get burned by Winslow was just awesome. You can now insert your foot into that giant mouth of yours. And remove K2’s stiff arm that is still in your chest from last year when he douched you.

-Did you see Lawrence Vickers block on the kick off return in the second half. He knocked a Dolphin 6 feet in the air. It was the most impressive block I have ever seen. Josh Cribbs is good, but Vickers has been great opening holes for him too.

-On that same note, I bet the guy next to me 10 bucks we give Vickers the ball on 3rd and 1. Granted he got the first, but I am a little concerned that if I can call the plays, defensive coordinators should be able to sniff it out too.

-Welcome Jerome Harrison. The ghost was a “Phantom” menace (bad joke, bad movie). He was tough to tackle, and had a burst that really sparked us when the 'Phins were making there way back in the game.

-What is up with the defense. I don’t think the Dolphins have any other players than Ronnie Brown. We should have been spying him the whole game. Get eight guys in the box, and make Cleo Lemon beat you. I am disgusted with our game plan. Did you notice when Marty Booker or Chambers, not sure, just walked to the middle of our zone for a first down. I love Grantham's fire, but he’s not giving me a lot of confidence right now.

-Another good game for Eric Wright. He is starting to feel his way out there. However, two critiques. One, get your head around to defend the ball. Too many times he is still

Chud For MVP!

Wow! I love Chud! Chud for MVP! Amazing...scoring points with this offense! It must take a genius! Kellen Winslow...Braylon Edwards...Joshua Cribbs...where did he find the play makers??

What a pleasure to watch the Browns roll to a comfortable win. Obviously...there are some issues on defence these days, but to have the offense to cover those lapses is really nice. This team isn't going any where significant with a defence this porous, but it's still nice to put up some points. And if Savage is for real, and next year is all about he defensive line, we might be pretty scary come half season next year.

MUTM Picks Week 6

Maxx's Picks:
Chicago
Cleveland
Green Bay
Cincinnati
Philly
Tennessee
Jacksonville
Baltimore
Arizona
New England
San Diego
Seattle
New York Football Giants

Top Dawg's Picks:
Tennessee
Chicago
Jacksonville
Cleveland
Baltimore
Washington
Cincinnati
Philly
Arizona
San Diego
New England
Seattle
Atlanta

Bird's Picks:
Chicago
Cleveland
Washington
Cincinnati
Philly
Tennessee
Jacksonville
Baltimore
Arizona
New England
San Diego
Seattle
New York Giants

Check out the Steel Skins picks.

A few Pictures from Maxx and Bird's Venture to Gillette

Bird rocking his old school Browns jacket, and my wife in her Garcia jersey! ($5 on sale!)

This dude sums it up!

The view from our seats. Good times.

Team MUTM Spanks Steel Skins Again!

MUTM wins week 3 of the Pick'em competition vs. Steel Skins, racking up our second win in a row! The final scores were:

MUTM : 33 - 9

Steel Skins: 31 -11

Our individual scores:

Maxx: 11-3

Overall Record: 28-16

Bird: 11-3

Overall Record: 24-20

Top Dawg: 11-3

Overall Record: 25-19

Team MUTM: 77-55

Look for another article on Steel Skins soon!

Bird and Maxx Head Into The Lion's Den

Tomorrow, Bird and I will head to Gillette Stadium for the Browns v. Pats game! We're both stoked. Living in the northeast, it's not that often we get the chance to see the Browns play in person. Of course we're both wearing our Jersey's. Mine's a Quinn jersey and Bird will be wearing his Greg Pruitt jersey, I think. He was deciding between Bob Golic, Pruitt, Andra Davis or nothing...We're both interested to see the reaction we get with our Browns jersey's. Even my wife will be wearing her Jeff Garcia jersey (it was on sale for $5, and it was my number in high school...so I bought two! I'm sorry.) Most of all though I'm excited about being in the mix. I'm excited to see the Browns live so I can remember the smell, sound, and feel of the game when you're there. I've been watching the Browns in bars for as long as I can remember, often with no sound cause it's usually not the "popular game" at the bar. (whatever that means.) I'm ready for the jeers that are sure to come with a opposing teams jersey. Mostly, I'm just excited to be around the excitement of an NFL game. Even though I have the Browns to win in every pool I play (which is way against my best judgement) I've made peace with the fact that we're going to lose. I do hope we keep it close though. A 10 point loss, would be a moral victory for this team I think. And if we can score some points, I think we have a chance.....

Full Circle

When looking for some interesting/funny photos of Romeo Crennel on the intanet (I spelled it that way purposely) I came across an interesting short little article about Crennel taking the reins of the browns. It's interesting to me for two reasons. One, it reminded me that Butch Davis was signed long enough to be our coach THIS SEASON! Wow! So happy he's at North Carolina. And two it amazed me at how nice Crennel is. His quotes in this article are said with the same degree of sincerity and friendliness of his interviews today. Anyone who checks out the press conferences on http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/ knows this quote: "Hi, how's everybody doing today? I'm doing pretty good, pretty good!" That's how Romeo starts press conferences with a press core that routinely questions him and wonders how long he'll be coaching the Browns. So either Crennel is just resigned to the fact that this is a fickle business and he might be out the door tomorrow, or he agrees with the press cores assessment. Anyway, check out the article. You can't help but root for the guy. I kind of wish he was my Dad...

Crennel in charge of Browns Romeo Crennel, who helped New England win a third Super Bowl in four years as defensive coordinator, is the new head coach of the Cleveland Browns.
The Cleveland Plain Dealer reported Crennel has signed a five-year contract worth up to $2m in its first season.
The 57-year-old becomes the NFL's sixth black coach.
The others are Lovie Smith (Chicago), Herman Edwards (NY Jets) Tony Dungy (Indianapolis), Dennis Green (Arizona) and Marvin Lewis (Cincinnati).
"The last couple days have been really good for me," said Crennel.
"Along with winning the Super Bowl, being named head coach of the Cleveland Browns is a special accomplishment."
He takes over a Browns team that went just 4-12 last season to fall to 30-66 since rejoining the league in 1999.
Butch Davis, who had been signed through 2007, resigned in November and was replaced by offensive co-ordinator Terry Robiskie for the remaining five games of the season.
"I've been in this league for a little while and worked long and hard to try and get some things done," said Crennel, who stressed fundamentals and teamwork in his address to the media.
"I've been somewhat successful as a position coach. Now I'm able to take the reins of a team and try to run a whole programme.
"It's going to be a big challenge, but I'm looking forward to it."

MUTM Week 5 Picks

So we're 1-1 against our friends over at Steel Skins, and here are our picks for Week 5. We admit that our win last week over the Steel Skins was sort of budget, due to the fact that they lost cause they didn't have enough guys picking...but as Woody Allen said "80% of success is showing up." So we won't dwell on it. This week though should be interesting after the "upsets" from last week. Enough babbling...here are our picks:

Maxx's Picks:

Houston over Miami
Jacksonville over KC
New York Giants over New York Jets
Carolina over New Orleans
Cleveland over New England
Washington over Detroit
Tennessee over Atlanta
Arizona over St. Louis
Pittsburgh over Seattle
Indianapolis over Tampa Bay
Baltimore over San Francisco
Denver over San Diego
Green Bay over Chicago
Dallas over Buffalo

Top Dawg's Picks:

Tennessee over Atlanta
Houston over Miami
Jacksonville over KC
Arizona over St. Louis
Cleveland over New England
New Orleans over Carolina
New York Giants over New York Jets
Pittsburgh over Seattle
Washington over Detroit
Indianapolis over Tampa Bay
San Diego over Denver
Baltimore over San Francisco
Chicago over Green Bay
Dallas over Buffalo

Bird's Picks:

New England over Cleveland (ah, what?)

St. Louis over Arizona

Baltimore over San Francisco

Green Bay over Chicago

Houston over Miami

Indianapolis over Tampa Bay

New Orleans over Carolina

New York Giants over New York Jets

Pittsburgh over Seattle

Tennessee over Atlanta

Washington over Detriot

Dallas over Buffalo

San Diego over Denver

Jacksonville over KC

What's Festering in Troy's Hair?

MUTM Posts article on Steel Skins after winning weekly Pick'em, we've also posted it here:

I am fulfilling my right of writing anything I want on this website after an impressive pick’em victory by Metcalfupthemiddle. While I know that this site is dedicated to both the Redskins and the Steelers, it is the latter that I will choose to discuss today. Last Sunday we got our second division win (your welcome) over the Ravens, whom we all can agree are the medical equivalent of an ingrown hair. Brian Billick brings out rage in me that has not been seen since Michael J. Fox was fighting for the loose ball in Teen Wolf. Anyways, the Browns are getting there act together after our game one beating, and I have a few reasons why I think the Browns will beat the Steelers when we play again Sunday, November 11th in lovely Hines Field.

-- Odds are there will be a terrible team wide outbreak of some disease due to the varieties of parasites living in the combination of Ben Rothlesberger's beard and Troy Polamalu's hair.

-- Mike Tomlin makes the mistake of betting on the game with Romeo Crennel. The prize, a pizza. Romeo's not losing that bet.

-- After some long negotiations Bill Cower returns to the Browns coaching staff as Special Teams Coach under Marty Shottenheimer who is hired as Head Coach again after Romeo Crennel dies of a heart attack after a 5th straight win leading into the Steelers game. There first order of business is to hire Bernie Kosar as QB Coach and Bob Golic gives up his acting career to coach to defense. Oh yeah, and we resign Eric Metcalf for punt returns only.

-- We have Kellen Winslow.

-- Ben Rothlesberger has a 14-37 day with 3 picks as he can't concentrate because he is blinded by the beauty of our backup QB, Brady Quinn.

-- We no longer have Tim Couch, or Ty Detmer, or Spergon Wynn, or Doug Peterson, or Jeff Garcia, or Trent Dilfer, or Kelly Holcomb (actually he had a pretty good game against you guys in Hines field in 2002), or Charlie Frye.

--We have Braylon Edwards.

Good Luck, well see you in November!

Go Skins!

-Bird

Derek Anderson is Do'in it!

DA is running this offense pretty damn well folks, and we here at MUTM are loving it! We're actually scoring. Last year the Browns ranked 30th in the NFL with 14.9 pts/game. This year, through 4 games the Browns rank 6th in the league in pts/game with 27.2. And don't forget that that includes the 34 - 7 drubbing by the Steelers in week 1. So needless to say, Anderson, Chud, Braylon, K2, J Lew, and JJ are doing something right. It's nice to see. Like most Browns fans though, I'm waiting to wake from this dream.

Speaking of dreams...the return of Ryan Tucker is fantastic. Just the added depth he brings is invaluable, and we're going to need it after this weekend when we face the Patriots.

Speaking of the Patriots, Bird and I will be heading out to Foxboro, (I mean Gillette) for the Browns - Patriots game this Sunday. I'll be wearing my Quinn jersey and I can guaran-damn-tee you that Bird will be wearing his as well. It should be interesting to see the reactions. I also have this slight feeling that we might surprise the Pats on Sunday. Having beaten the bag out of everyone they've faced so far this year, and coming off of a short week, maybe the Pats will underestimate the Browns and also be touch tired. Sounds like the makings of an upset. That's what the little voice deep inside me says anyway. Most of the stuff that voice says can't be written here to begin with, so I'm not really sure where that puts me...but I'm going with it!

Inneresting Week for Picks in the NFL

Wow, what a weekend. Although at this point in the season it's hard to call anything an upset, I was really amazed how many games didn't go the way most people expected. Accordingly our picks for the week were abysmal! Bird was the Norv Turner of weekly predictors this week, but I have faith that after some up-and-close time with the Brownies this weekend at Gillette Stadium, he'll get his swagger back! But as luck would have it, the Steel Skins weren't able to rouse their third member, and three always beats two. (except when that hot chick from Hero's turns into her nasty evil alter-ego.) Anyway here are our results for the week and for the season so far.

Maxx
Week 4: 7-7
Overall Record: 17-13

Top Dawg
Week 4: 6-8
Overall Record: 14-16

Bird
Week 4: 5-9
Overall Record: 13-17

TEAM MUTM: 44-46

Beating a Dead Horse

For three weeks in a row I've heard Romeo Crennel say in press conferences something to the effect of: "some people weren't' where they needed to be on defence, and that's something we need to work on in practice this week." What? I appreciate that each week you see an offensive scheme that is slightly different, but I'm still wondering why, in the 3rd year of this 3-4 with better talent, we're still having so much trouble. Tell me it's in-experience or injuries, but don't tell me they don't know where to line up. If that's still a problem 3 years into a system, there's a problem with one of two things: 1. The coaches don't do a good job teaching the system. 2. The players we've drafted aren't smart enough to learn the system. Maybe it's a combination of both, but I have a feeling it's a lot more of reason #1 than #2. Let's see if practice helped this week, cause we're going to need to stop Baltimore and keep them out of the endzone, because you know we're going to have trouble getting points on the board this week. I'm still taking Cleveland though, 17-16.

Week 4 Picks v. SteelSkins

Well, we were slightly humbled last week by the Steel Skins 28 wins to 26. So we decided to switch strategies this week. No more dart boards and blindfolds involved. This week it's for real. So while we're still awaiting the Steel Skins article they get to post, here are our picks for this week. GO BROWNS!

Top Dawg's Picks
Cleveland over Baltimore
Minnesota over Green Bay
Houston over Atlanta
New York Jets over Buffalo
Dallas over St. Louis
Chicago over Detroit
Miami over Oakland
Seattle over San Francisco
Tampa Bay over Carolina
Pittsburgh over Arizona
San Diego over KC
Indianapolis over Denver
Philadelphia over New York Giants
New England over Cincinnati

Overall Record: 8-8

Bird's Picks
New York Jets over Buffalo
Dallas over St. Louis
Chicago over Detroit
Miami over Oakland
Houston over Atlanta
Minnesota over Green Bay
Cleveland over Baltimore
Seattle over San Francisco
Carolina over Tampa Bay
Indianapolis over Denver
San Diego over Kansas City
Pittsburgh over Arizona
Philadelphia over New York Giants
New England over Cincinnati

Overall Record: 8-8

Maxx's Picks
Houston over Atlanta
New York Jets over Buffalo
Cleveland over Baltimore
Dallas over St. Louis
Chicago over Detroit
Miami over Oakland
Green Bay over Minnesota
Tampa Bay over Carolina
Seattle over San Francisco
Pittsburgh over Arizona
Indianapolis over Denver
San Diego over Kansas City
Philadelphia over New York Giants
New England over Cincinnati

Overall Record: 10-6

Steel Skins Wins First Weekly Pick'em

We're sad to say that MUTM lost the first weekly pick'em competition against the Steel Skins. It was extremely close though. (The Browns killed us!) Look for an article penned by the Steel Skins to be posted on MUTM this week. And next week we won't let our wives make our picks! Check out the scores below.

Team MUTM
Maxx - 10-6
Top Dawg - 8-8
Bird - 8-8
TOTAL - 26-22

Team Steal Skins
Aaron - 12-4
Sean - 10-6
Boss Hog - 6-10
TOTAL - 28-20

Oh Boy...

I tried to write something positive and clever, but this just sucks. A blocked field goal? Are you f'ing kidding me? Dawson nails that 99 times out of 100. Just f'ing block. Just block. Please...just...block...

Time to go to bed and build up my optimism for next weekend...

It's On!

We at MUTM were happy to accept a challenge from another blog called Steel Skins for a weekly Pick'em competition. We're going to post our picks for each game, each week before the first game of the week, add up our wins and losses, and then the blog with the best record wins for that week.

There is one major rule: picks must be made completely independently, so that you can't rig it to cover each game (for instance, if all three guys want to pick the Giants over Skins, you can't collude and decide that one guy should pick the Skins, to cover yourself.)

The winner then gets to post an article on the others blog about whatever they please. If you've visited Steel Skins, you'd see that it's a pretty big Steelers site, so we're excited about the possibility of some good ol'smack talkin. Our picks for the week are coming soon, and we apologize for the formatting, but the monkey that puts this site together can't seem to figure out how to post them any better. No food for him this week.

Week 3 Picks from Team MUTM

We've gladly accepted the challenge from Steel Skins for a weekly Pick'em competition. How could we not, half their bloggers are from Pittsburgh, so this should be easy. In addition, when we win we get to post an article on their blog about anything we want. So we at MUTM see this as a great opportunity to spread the good word about the Browns, and all things Cleveland! Peep our Week 3 picks below.

Maxx's Picks for Week 3

Cleveland over Oakland
Baltimore over Arizona
San Diego over Green Bay
Indianapolis over Houston
Minnesota over KC
New England over Buffalo
New York Jets over Miami
Philadelphia over Detroit
Pittsburgh over San Francisco
Tampa Bay over St. Louis
Denver over Jacksonville
Seattle over Cincinnati
Carolina over Atlanta
Washington over New York Giants
Dallas over Chicago
New Orleans over Tennessee

Top Dawg's Picks for Week 3

Cleveland over Oakland
Indianapolis over Houston
New England over Buffalo
Miami over New York Jets
Philadelphia over Detroit
Pittsburgh over San Francisco
St. Louis over Tampa Bay
San Diego over Green Bay
Baltimore over Arizona
Kansas City over Minnesota
Cincinnati over Seattle
Denver over Jacksonville
Carolina over Atlanta
Washington over New York Giants
Dallas over Chicago
New Orleans over Tennessee

Bird's Picks for Week 3

Cleveland over Oakland
Indianapolis over Houston
New England over Buffalo
New York Jets over Miami
Detroit over Philadelphia
Pittsburgh over San Francisco
St. Louis over Tamp Bay
San Diego over Green Bay
Baltimore over Arizona
Minnesota over Kansas City
Cincinnati over Seattle
Denver over Jacksonville
Carolina over Atlanta
New York Giants over Washington
Chicago over Dallas
Tennessee over New Orleans